I think that it's the attitude he had that's most concerning.
The language is completely unacceptable but more importantly this incident has illustrated that he hasn't the patience or kindness or understanding of how young children are to be anywhere near a parental role to them.
Similar to pps I'd have dumped and walked with the kids then and there and been very clear about why and that I wanted NOTHING more to do with him.
Children this age ARE energetic and require a lot of attention and patience.
That you also don't seem to understand this concerns me too op.
I think before you even CONSIDER dating again you have a lot of work to do on your own stuff including this unreasonable expectation of calmer behaviour from children this age.
that he had a moment where he blurted something out without any thought
NO SPEECH IS NOT INVOLUNTARY
And his attitude most definitely isn't! This is who he is stop making excuses or believing his
and he beeped on purpose, I do not know why
Jesus that makes him worse!
Illegal and cruel!
That's a nasty thing to do to a small kid!
no access to transport in a rural area
Not even a taxi?! Call one from nearest town?
At the very least the appropriate and correct thing to do would have been to leave first thing the following morning.
I am home since yesterday morning, no contact since
Have you actually told him the relationship is over though?
The beeping a five year old would be a dumping offence on its own.
Totally agree. That op doesn't think this was "that bad" shows just how skewed her boundaries and thinking is.
you may be better off asking opinions more locally of good local friends
I think that's terrible advice because in all likelihood they will know this man and make excuses for him too. Here is may be harsh but objective.
@Louise5754 that's an appalling and illegal thing to do. Please stop.
@Zilla1 this was not a one issue incident, there are at least 3 issues here:
Beeping the horn unnecessarily to alarm a small child
Calling that small child a vile name (regardless of cultural differences still a vile name) in response to the child reacting exactly as most kids that age would!
Not INSTANTLY apologising to the dc for his behaviour
This is a pattern of non child friendly behaviour at a point in the relationship when as most pps have said he should/will be on best behaviour
Op has also mentioned that she's notice increasing tension anyway
Sorry I just remembered he beeped because dc left the car door open and he couldn't pull into driveway. Beeped to say close door
Still not a good enough reason to beep! Kids leave doors open that's normal, you get out the car and close it yourself or call out the window to tell em to close it, you don't act like a bully!
He has gone above and beyond to do things for us arrange days out etc
Not what's important, easy to play the big man for praise/glory
My children are extremely clingy to me and demand alot of me
Totally normal given their age AND what they've previously been through plus current events also.
My dd is 20 and has left home and she is feeling insecure and lacking confidence in various areas due to the events of the past year which she seeks my reassurance and advice about.
Comments like this are what make me genuinely concerned that you also don't understand normal behaviour at this age. Have you any experience with caring for children of this age aside from your own dc? Sounds like you could benefit from parenting classes or other support around what is and isn't normal behaviour at this age.
That needs to be your focus just now, not being in a relationship.