Pregnancy *can* really destroy your body

[ImFallingApartAt27]

AIBU to say that it does?!

I'm 27 weeks pregnant at the moment but even before this baby I was pretty much falling apart after my last.

I have a prolapse, diastasis recti, an umbilical hernia, SPD and It's evil cousin sacroiliac joint dysfunction. I'm virtually house bound %80 of the time as I'm in so much pain when I walk and can't do bugger all.

I also have treatment resistant chronic TMD that only came about immediately after the traumatic birth of my last.

I need multiple operations to get back to remote normality in some areas and none of those will happen anytime soon.

I'm already having physio. Not helping.

Before having children I had none of these problems and now I feel completely disabled. I'm only 27.

Can anybody else relate?

Please tell me I'm not alone. I feel bloody depressed.

@Twinsmum2003 I honestly think you carrying twins until 34 weeks alone is truly amazing. They can be such a high risk pregnancy and I cant even fathom how stressful it must have been. I certainly dont see a section as a failure for any mother, in fact I'm just green with envy at all the women who have come away saying they had such a pleasant experience and would do it again in a heartbeat. Until I came onto mumsnet after DD, I didn't even know a 'maternal' request for a section was a thing! A section was NEVER mentioned as an option before having my DD, the midwives were eager for me to deliver on the MLU as I was low risk, so I just went with it.
My section is booked in for the 4th October and I am going ahead with it now. With the amount of pain I'm in right now I literally cannot imagine going through another VB at home with just access to G&A.

@SummerHouse

It's not fair at all. It's shite. I am one of the lucky ones. A third degree tear, stitched completely fell out, midwife said "we don't re-stitch. We just let it fuse together."

That was a pretty grim moment. But I did make a full recovery. I hesitate to say that on a thread where so many women have been so much less fortunate but I do think it's right that people know the good, the bad and the ugly.

WTF?!!! That sounds insane!

With DD1 my episiotomy stitches started popping and they definitely did restitch! Another lady was there for the same thing so I reckon there was a problem with the batch.

Yep... I have a bladder prolapse and lots od scar tissue from the episiotomy. I was so sick during my pregnancy too. I won't be having any more children - another pregnancy and birth would physically and mentally break me.

@ImFallingApartAt27

Twinsmum, wow you sound like a right trooper! That's so reassuring to read. I had visions of being glued to the sofa, DH needing to help me get to the toilet etc.

My older child has special needs so really does need me to be present and capable.

Can I ask was you given precautionary antibiotics before the section? I'm told that's commonplace now, at least I hope so, as one of my main worries is infection incase I end up with sepsis again. As nasty as antibiotics are.. the reassurance that I'm covered, at least to begin with, is hugely helpful for my PTSD.

Hi I’m so sorry I hadn’t realised you asked me anything after my post. I didn’t have any antibiotics but my twins are 17 now so things may have changed. There are many things I would ask for with hindsight, I would like a test for (I think it’s Strep B?) which you can have and can cause serious problems for a baby if contacted during birth. It is tested for in the USA and Canada routinely I believe but not here. Please don’t shout at me if I have this wrong, just something I heard a few years ago. Again simple antibiotics can cure.

I am also not superwoman. I had a lot of help, my babies had to be fed by bottle as every tiny feed had to be measured and my sister washed and sterilised all bottles and my mum kept on top of the laundry and we lived on supermarket lasagne and bags of salad so just had to focus on babies, no wriggly toddler to contend with too.

All that being said, I genuinely recovered from my c-section very well, up and about the same day and I just wanted to say that you will hear lots of horror stories but it may not be as bad as you think.

I would ask about antibiotics if you want them, explain your fear and hopefully they’ll be receptive and understand your concerns, although obviously any medication is passed on in milk if breastfeeding.

Finally if you opt for a c-section and you have issues from your previous birth ie prolapse, is that something they could repair or help with while sewing you up from your c-section? I used to have terrible egg release pain from adhesions on one ovary and I wish to goodness I had discussed them removing it during my c-section. If you address it well beforehand perhaps it’s something they will plan for regardless of surgeon?

Ramble over x

I also had a fine recovery from section, and mine was an emergency one. Didn't need any strong painkillers, was up and about after six hours, had no issues going up and down stairs, anything like that. I had dreaded having a section but it was honestly very positive and I was surprised how easy I found recovery.

I found recovery after ELCS was easy, up out of bed the same night and able to walk around. I did have an EMCS previously and that was harder, I picked an ELCS so there was no chance of another EMCS. There are more likely to be complications with an EMCS.

Sorry you are suffering so much after your first pregnancy. There should be more support.

Sorry about the unsupportive comments, sometimes I wonder how supportive it actually is on here.

I know I’ve shared my experience of the unbelievably painful and traumatic recovery from my vaginal birth, but I just want to say how fantastic it is to see people sharing their experiences of a good recovery a caesarean. I definitely felt like during pregnancy I was led to believe c section = nightmare recovery, vaginal birth = easier recovery, but that just isn’t the case for so many women.

I was diagnosed with a grade 2 rectocele too a week ago and I’m devastated. I used to run almost everyday, half marathons and marathons. Running was my happy place.
My Obgyn just told me: go live your life and in your next csection i will operate.

Sorry to hear these stories. Once again, women's health is pushed to the back of the queue.

We need more money spent on women's health care. Instead of this condescending 'it's not that bad, get on with it' attitude. It's unhelpful and unhealthy.

I think you've been incredibly unlucky, I've not had anything close to anything you describe!

@Munguia

I was diagnosed with a grade 2 rectocele too a week ago and I’m devastated. I used to run almost everyday, half marathons and marathons. Running was my happy place. My Obgyn just told me: go live your life and in your next csection i will operate.

Sorry to hear this. I’m 20m into parenthood living with a rectocele. There’s nothing they can do about mine as it’s apparently too mild to warrant surgery or a ring, I just had a physio session and was given Kegels to do. I can live with it but it’s really tough, I have to digitally support the inside wall of my rectum via my vagina to be able to have a bowel movement. I miss being able to just go for a poo!

FWIW mine wouldn’t stop me exercising in any way, has yours really interfered with that? As long as I’m not constipated so there isn’t loads of poo hanging around near the opening it’s okay most of the time. Sorry for TMI!

My Obgyn just told me: go live your life and in your next csection i will operate

Wow would they really do that - fix a prolapse during a csection? I had no idea. Are you in the UK? That's brilliant if so.