Pregnancy *can* really destroy your body

[ImFallingApartAt27]

AIBU to say that it does?!

I'm 27 weeks pregnant at the moment but even before this baby I was pretty much falling apart after my last.

I have a prolapse, diastasis recti, an umbilical hernia, SPD and It's evil cousin sacroiliac joint dysfunction. I'm virtually house bound %80 of the time as I'm in so much pain when I walk and can't do bugger all.

I also have treatment resistant chronic TMD that only came about immediately after the traumatic birth of my last.

I need multiple operations to get back to remote normality in some areas and none of those will happen anytime soon.

I'm already having physio. Not helping.

Before having children I had none of these problems and now I feel completely disabled. I'm only 27.

Can anybody else relate?

Please tell me I'm not alone. I feel bloody depressed.

My body definitely feels weaker after my first and I fully understand now why doctors advise you to wait one year after having a baby, but honestly, my body has needed more than a year. My son is 13 months and my hips still seize up and I get backache after walking for more than an hour. That's all manageable though and nothing awful, it got better at 9 months pp.

The thing I still semi-struggle with is my hands / thumbs. I had carpal tunnel during pregnancy, it was dreadful. I don't really get pain anymore but my hands are weaker and I can just drop things now. The amount of times things have flown out my hands and made a mess is ridiculous. So although I don't struggle with anything major, I've still experienced some changes.

@ImFallingApartAt27 Amen lady 🙏

Money
I don’t see how money can enable you to bounce back? How can money prevent you tearing? How can money prevent you getting stretch marks? Because believe me I would have paid thousands if I thought there was any way to prevent that.

Well, firstly you've no idea whether celebrities are left with tearing or birth injuries unless they come out and say. Secondly, stretch marks - if you don't have them, you're more likely to be in a bikini on a beach where photographers can get you. I'm sure plenty of celebrities do have them, but we just don't see them.

They often seem to 'bounce back' in terms of body shape quicker, but that's usually due to personal trainer, nannies, food service etc. making it easier. Plus their body shape is often part of their 'job' so perhaps it's something they pursue more vigorously?

How come celebrities always bounce back with perfect bodies? No stretch marks, no disabilities that prevent them doing action movies, nothing.

Do you think any sleb in their right mind would ring up Hello! or the Mail and say, “Welcoming Princess Honey Boo-Boo, 8lb 2oz, oh yeah I tore from front to back by the way”? No, because it’s about the image they’d like to portray.

Some celebrities have been open about pelvic issues but certainly not many

www.kegel8.co.uk/blog/celebrities-pelvic-floor-disorder

@PigeonPink

Money I don’t see how money can enable you to bounce back? How can money prevent you tearing? How can money prevent you getting stretch marks? Because believe me I would have paid thousands if I thought there was any way to prevent that.

It doesn’t prevent you tearing but it pays for a bloody good surgeon to be on hand and ‘fix’ it straight away and nanny’s to let you rest and recover quicker. It pays for private medical care.

Lots of celebs have stretch marks and also lots use photoshop and edit their pics.

It’s not real. You can’t look at celebrities and compare them to day to day women.

It’s not real. You can’t look at celebrities and compare them to day to day women.
But the fact is, they ARE real women. So if they’re not getting the injuries that the rest of us get, we need to be asking ourselves why. Obviously there’s treatment available that we aren’t being offered.

I think alot of celebrities will have these issues but just don't talk openly about it, especially the high profile ones who carefully curate how they come across to the public.

Photoshop etc on Instagram.

Ferne McCann (she was on TOWIE I think?) went on ITV this morning to talk about her cystocele prolapse, I had recently been diagnosed with the same so it was great to see a 'celeb' raising awareness.

She went onto This Morning on ITV I should say, it didn't happen this morning

@kowari

You knew your body didn’t cope well with pregnancy but then went on to get pregnant again knowing it would do further damage. It’s illogical. Further damage might also impact upon your ability to care for the first child. The first time was terrible bad luck but why on earth do it again?

I had to have a lot of IVF to get pg with my 1st child (MF infertility) I developed SPD and was on crutches by 16 weeks, wheelchair by 25. I had a crash CSection. 2 years later I had more IVF for a 2nd pg. I did see a Consultant who looked incredulous and said: 'you're brave' Again SPD (hadn't really resolved totally from 1st pg & IVF hormones) 2nd crash section. Left with long term SPD/ joint disfunction. My kids are now 17 and 14. Best pals. Worth it all. But I'd no idea that pg could wreck your body longer term, even if careful with issues. I'm still on crutches.

Wishing you well, OP

Are the rest of us just not getting the good quality medical care that would enable us to bounce back in the same way?

You would be shocked at how much better private health care is compared to NHS.

YANBU

You would be shocked at how much better private health care is compared to NHS

For sure.

I desperately wanted a hysterectomy after my first, I wasn't taken seriously whatsoever nor was it even considered by the NHS who gave multiple reasons as to why I couldn't have one.

DH wanted a vasectomy, went private, had the operation very soon after. He wasn't interrogated as to why he wanted it. His care was brilliant.

You would be shocked at how much better private health care is compared to NHS
If I’d been offered additional treatments that would prevent or fix the injuries I have, I’d have paid on my credit card. Even if it was £20k. Not having this damage would be life changing. But I wasn’t even told there was anything available that could help me. Just told to fuck off and put up with it.

Prolapses definitely aren't spoke about enough. I knew the day after having my DD something wasn't right down there, went to see the midwives for internals, also had an internal by my GP and was fobbed off by them ALL. In fact the exact words spoken to me were "well you've just had a baby, things will be different down there." It was only a few months back that I managed to refer myself to a gynae doctor who confirmed I had a rectocele. My midwife doesn't seem to understand my anxiety around another vaginal birth with this next baby.

A hysterectomy and vasectomy are not at all comparable.

Since you say you are 27 then I expect many of the reasons given why a hysterectomy for non-medical reasons would not be considered were centred on the very real risks to your health. Like osteoporosis.

Just told to fuck off and put up with it.

So was I. I persevered for 3 YEARS before I was eventually listened to. Oh, and it turned out I did have serious problems, and upon seeing the gynecologist I was booked in for surgery there and then

@PigeonPink

It’s not real. You can’t look at celebrities and compare them to day to day women. But the fact is, they ARE real women. So if they’re not getting the injuries that the rest of us get, we need to be asking ourselves why. Obviously there’s treatment available that we aren’t being offered.

I think they are getting the injuries they just aren't telling the world about the issues they have. Nor do they need to. It's private information.

It isn't like that for everyone but it certainly was for me. I'm also very broken after pregnancy.

I find it funny that you've had responses asking why you got pregnant again. I asked a very similar question pre DC2 about whether having suffered so badly first time whether I should have DC2 which is what DH wanted and was told the second would be different, I was selfish to promise 2 kids then go back on my word, that children were worth my broken body etc.

@Zebraaa

So why on earth are you having another one??

Well the damage was done after the first.

If the only women who have babies whose bodies weren't negatively impacted then the human race would have been extinct long ago.