Pregnancy *can* really destroy your body

[ImFallingApartAt27]

AIBU to say that it does?!

I'm 27 weeks pregnant at the moment but even before this baby I was pretty much falling apart after my last.

I have a prolapse, diastasis recti, an umbilical hernia, SPD and It's evil cousin sacroiliac joint dysfunction. I'm virtually house bound %80 of the time as I'm in so much pain when I walk and can't do bugger all.

I also have treatment resistant chronic TMD that only came about immediately after the traumatic birth of my last.

I need multiple operations to get back to remote normality in some areas and none of those will happen anytime soon.

I'm already having physio. Not helping.

Before having children I had none of these problems and now I feel completely disabled. I'm only 27.

Can anybody else relate?

Please tell me I'm not alone. I feel bloody depressed.

...having said that, I would still try for an ELCS next time, even though my VB was fine!!

Not that I've really thought that far ahead yet, DS is only three months old and we were always planning one DC - even more so now (hello hyperemesis, terrifying heavy bleeding, low placenta and premature birth with some, thankfully, short-term issues for DS and a higher risk of prematurity next time...)

@applesarethebest Oh my god wow. How is bubs now? I bet that was quite frightening and unexpected going that early!!

Aww thank you @MyGrassIsBrowner that's very kind of you to ask! Yes, it was a case of facing my worst fears - natural delivery and an early, potentially unwell baby (I knew he was measuring over a week behind at my scan at 34 weeks, plus I had a scaremongering doctor telling me his brain and lungs weren't developed yet, thanks for that, my waters have broken already but I'll bear that in mind...). But the midwives were wonderful. So was the epidural

We were in hospital for a week, home for two weeks, then back in again for several days (for hypothermia and suspected sepsis - which was absolutely horrendous to be honest). I also had to express because he was too ill to nurse, and we had lots of follow-ups for his jaundice.

And people still ask when I'm having another, probably because DS is such a bouncing, bonny baby these days thank goodness 🙏🏻

...sorry for the life story!! I could talk about DS all day hahaha. Apologies for the thread hijack OP, and best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy

I don’t understand the comments about why OP’s having another. As if women deserve what they get if they choose to have children. Labours of Eve - textbook misogyny.

And I think you must have to be a very, very simple person if you don’t understand that sometimes life is complicated.

sorry for the life story!! I could talk about DS all day hahaha. Apologies for the thread hijack OP, and best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy

Not at all! I'm always interested in hearing others birth stories, I'm so sorry you had such a frightening time. Birth trauma isn't to be underestimated. I had sepsis after my daughter and it scared the crap out of me. I don't know how I'd have kept myself calm if she had it too. I'm so pleased your little one is ok x

@applesarethebest I'm so glad bubs is doing well now!
They sure do have a way with words in times of distress don't they!
My DD is 16 months now and turning into a little rascal. She's learning to walk, which in my current state is buckets of fun 😩 but she also does things daily that melt my heart and I'm hoping she and the little bundle of fun currently in my belly will one day be the best of friends!

X

@maryd84

Sorry for what you are going through op

I had my baby 11 months ago. I'm left with a saggy stomach thats covered with stretch marks and I also leak urine occasionally when I sneeze but I know that they are very mild issues compared to the problems you are having after pregnancy.

I wish you all the best with your second pregnancy.

It's terrible that you've gotten nasty responses on this thread.

@Vanilla1Cookies you are horrible.

@maryd84 just truthful. Truth hurts.

Yeah, it’s quite funny (not in an amusing way) because they become teens one day and want to be as far away as possible from you. All that sacrifice and in the end, you just embarrass them.

Dear god are you still here, Vanilla?

Nobody is interested in anything you have to say.

Feel free to remove the thread from your "I'm on" section.

@Vanilla1Cookies Not truthful. Just plain horrible. Bully springs to mind actually.

So sorry you're going through this OP. I developed TMD in pregnancy and still have it (10 months post partum). Recently had an mri to see if anything else is going on as it's been getting worse. Hopefully the spd will disappear after birth. My friend suffered terribly when pg with her DS but it basically cleared itself up after he was born.

Op I could of written this! I've had 2 pregnancys while on contraception that was 12month apart my body is a train wreak,my right side of the body feels weak constant pins and needles in my arms and legs,I am constantly tired!! My memory is terrible and fed up of the doctor telling me it's anxiety!! I've not been seen F2F for over 12months! Apart from a ECG which was "normal" nobody ever mentions the after effects of pregnancy!!

YANBU to say it has destroyed your body but you must know that you have been really unlucky (so I would still go with can, not does; bit saggier plus a few stretchmarks here but I wouldn’t say it ruined my body, especially as the fat got redistributed in a slightly more flattering way).

OP thank you for this thread! I dont think I've met anyone in real life whose suffered more than me during pregnancy! Everyone complains how hard the baby stage is and I just stand there in disbelief thinking how can it be harder than pregnancy!?! I totally get the mentality with a second pregnancy in that it couldnt possibly be as bad, and then it ends up being more horrific! I've just finished my family not quite as many as I originally thought I would have but the choice was between another & being in a wheelchair for most of the pregnacy I chose to stop! Advice i could give looking back, I did plan the birth down to a tee and it all went to plan & that most definitely helped in recovery, and also to make sure to give yourself more TLC after the birth ( if possible)! I'm a year postpartum now and body wise feel I'm only really coming through it now so don't be too hard on yourself!

@HTH1

YANBU to say it has destroyed your body but you must know that you have been really unlucky (so I would still go with can, not does; bit saggier plus a few stretchmarks here but I wouldn’t say it ruined my body, especially as the fat got redistributed in a slightly more flattering way).

Absolutely.

I have friends who have had textbook pregnancies with no complications or subsequent health problems. Infact I don't know anybody else personally who has had the same issues as me, at least not that they're open about.

As this thread has shown though it's not super rare.

(and a non alcoholic version for fellow pregnant women)

I'm so sorry you've all been dealt a shit hand too. It's upsetting isn't it? It doesn't feel fair.. although I'm very glad that for alot of women they don't have to go through these things.

@ImFallingApartAt27

Those of you who had sections: what was the recovery like? Could you do much with your children? I'm conscious of the fact that laying down and getting plenty of rest isn't going to be an option as I have a very dependent older child who needs me to be active.

I've just had an appointment with my midwife and said I'm still on the fence about delivery so looking forward to my birth options appointment with the consultant midwife later on in the month.

My MW said I could opt to have a section date booked in but then specify that if I go into spontaneous labour before that - I'd like to try for a V birth (if I want that at the time)

Naively, I didn't know that would be an option and assumed that if you opt for a section you're then having that section regardless.

Hi, I had a cesarean due to having twins both in awkward positions and liver problems that meant I had to deliver early. Now I’m a big baby when it comes to pain or even discomfort but honestly I sailed through the c-section. Not even paracetamol afterwards. I was able to carry babies etc and spent my first evening home assembling a large cot bed. I did use it to get out of housework for a couple of months though 😂. If you feel a vaginal delivery carries too many risks or traumatises you too much then opt for the c-section. There are no prizes either way but it could be a winner for you. It was all very calm also, apart from me shaking with nerves, which might make the experience better for you.

@Twinsmum2003 you absolute warrior woman! 🙉

Twinsmum, wow you sound like a right trooper! That's so reassuring to read. I had visions of being glued to the sofa, DH needing to help me get to the toilet etc.

My older child has special needs so really does need me to be present and capable.

Can I ask was you given precautionary antibiotics before the section? I'm told that's commonplace now, at least I hope so, as one of my main worries is infection incase I end up with sepsis again. As nasty as antibiotics are.. the reassurance that I'm covered, at least to begin with, is hugely helpful for my PTSD.

[quote MyGrassIsBrowner]@Twinsmum2003 you absolute warrior woman! 🙉[/quote]
Lol thank you, but in my experience it wasn’t that bad, either that or I was on some weird hormonal high afterwards or just trench warfare, we had to feed them every 3 hours day and night because they were so tiny!

@Twinsmum2003 I can only imagine what a whirlwind having twins is but wow, I take my hat off to you. Having a singleton pregnancy is enough to tip you over the edge lol let alone two in there. How did you find their movements? Its chaos in there with one I can't imagine what it'd be like to have an extra four limbs in there.
I agree it's reassuring to hear your recovery was easy going in the grand scheme of things. It seems a lot of women on here who have had sections have all had pretty positive experiences with their sections. I just have an innate fear that I'll be one of the unlucky ones that'll have complications and tonnes of blood loss. But that's just my mangled way of thinking.

I had terrible pgp for 7months of pregnancy. I’m now 2 years post birth and still suffer. It put me off having another one because I can’t just sit on the couch like I did before. I’ll have a toddler to run around after and it will be impossible.
Not to mention how disgusting the vagina looks now. Jeez, I knew it wouldn’t go back to normal but fuck me, some state to the point I’m actually ashamed of it.

It's not fair at all. It's shite. I am one of the lucky ones. A third degree tear, stitched completely fell out, midwife said "we don't re-stitch. We just let it fuse together."

That was a pretty grim moment. But I did make a full recovery. I hesitate to say that on a thread where so many women have been so much less fortunate but I do think it's right that people know the good, the bad and the ugly.

It's not fair at all. It's shite. I am one of the lucky ones. A third degree tear, stitched completely fell out, midwife said "we don't re-stitch. We just let it fuse together." confused

I wouldn't call that lucky. A 3rd degree tear you poor thing

I had a second degree perennial tear and that was bad enough. Ouch.

[quote MyGrassIsBrowner]@Twinsmum2003 I can only imagine what a whirlwind having twins is but wow, I take my hat off to you. Having a singleton pregnancy is enough to tip you over the edge lol let alone two in there. How did you find their movements? Its chaos in there with one I can't imagine what it'd be like to have an extra four limbs in there.
I agree it's reassuring to hear your recovery was easy going in the grand scheme of things. It seems a lot of women on here who have had sections have all had pretty positive experiences with their sections. I just have an innate fear that I'll be one of the unlucky ones that'll have complications and tonnes of blood loss. But that's just my mangled way of thinking.[/quote]
I honestly don’t remember many movements which is quite sad, I had hyperemesis and lost lots of weight and had a horrible pregnancy, then delivered when they were 34 weeks so would have loved another baby for a more normal experience but it never happened unfortunately. I have a personal opinion that if you have had a difficult delivery before or have had complications during pregnancy or after delivery such as OP mentioned, then grab the c-section in both hands. Much better than getting so far through labour and having a traumatised and exhausted mum who has already been through hours or days of active labour being rushed off for an emergency c-section (happened to a friend of mine and my sister in law who both found that horrific and did struggle afterwards). IMO a c-section may not be as drastic as is feared or any kind of a failure. 😊