To have done this in ‘public’? Unsupervised kids.

[WhatsAppening]

NC for this as it’s incredibly outing.

For a few months now there have been two small kids playing in the road in our small estate. They have ZERO road sense. They have run in front of cars several times. They often just stop in the middle of the road in front of cars. They are 5 and 6 apparently.

Yesterday when leaving for work I had to slam on my brakes despite only going 5 mph round one of the three blind corners as the little girl sped into my path on her bike. I was really shaken, she was inches away from my bumper.

Not knowing who they belonged to I posted on the estate WhatsApp group to say what had happened, I said it’s not the first time (although the scariest) and that they need to be supervised.

The mum responded to say yeah but we live in a flat and they need outside play, and she can’t always be out there with them because she has to do housework.

I then got a flurry of private messages from other neighbours saying they’ve also had near misses and that the kids are sent out after breakfast and called in at tea time. Not one of them posted anything on the group.

Anyway I responded again saying that I appreciate they need outside time but that they need supervision. Got one line back saying ‘message me privately’.

I lost my rag a bit and said just supervise your kids ffs and I’m not interested in a private chat.

Anyway it all kicked off. Her husband chimed in, she said I’m parent shaming her and she has anxiety (not too anxious about the kids though are you hun) and basically left me feeling like the baddie.

So, was I being unreasonable to do this in the group? I had no idea who she was so couldn’t have messaged her to start with.

@LittleMG

By swearing and sounding unfriendly it has helped them frame you as the baddie, they are wrong but you have lost the battle in a sense by sounding a bit nasty.

See this really annoys me. I wasn’t a bit nasty. I’ve nearly run these kids over multiple times.

I’m too old and tired to be nice. Nice gets women nowhere. We should all be more nasty.

I mean, just parent your kids for fucks sake. It’s not rocket science.

You need to contact the local authority Children's Services.

Why should you have to be nice? Her children are literally playing in the traffic because she can't be bothered to get off her arse and look after them. I really think her anxiety is the least of her problems.

Well, if her kid buys the farm because of her neglect, do you think, wailing, 'don't paaaaaaarent shame me', is going to get her very far when police inquiries are made as to why two very young children were little told by their parents to go play in traffic?

I have to admit I'm not very nice in the face of seeing children's lives endangered by their parent's neglect. It makes me rather cranky. Especially if I'm the one that damned near caused their injury or demise, through no fault of my own. I'm certainly not inclined to engage in a self indulgent exercise of said parent to justify and excuse their behaviour or to indulge their behaviour.

I'm actually shocked at how many posters on here are concerned with how the OP communicates the message "I nearly ran over your child today", rather than with the fact that the child nearly got ran over.

@AudacityBaby

I'm actually shocked at how many posters on here are concerned with how the OP communicates the message "I nearly ran over your child today", rather than with the fact that the child nearly got ran over.

The two are inextricably linked. It’s a given that people are horrified a child was almost run over. So the next step is how to deal Hence focus on the message communication

@Marmitemarinaded I think that's true of everyone suggesting she contacts 101/SS, yes. But the people suggesting that OP should have been nicer, more explanatory or more discreet in communicating this (horrifying) situation to the parents, that's shocking to me.

[quote AudacityBaby]@Marmitemarinaded I think that's true of everyone suggesting she contacts 101/SS, yes. But the people suggesting that OP should have been nicer, more explanatory or more discreet in communicating this (horrifying) situation to the parents, that's shocking to me.[/quote]
I agree with them.
Losing your rag on a community group after one mere exchange? No

@marmitemarinaded She nearly ran over one of their kids, who shouldn't have been unsupervised, and she was informed that there'd been a number of other near-misses. She informed the parents who immediately made excuses, then asked for a private discussion. I'd have told them exactly the same thing. OP doesn't owe them a discussion about extenuating circumstances, they need to supervise their children.

I find it utterly bizarre that anyone is querying the tone of the message, honestly.

The only response I wanted from her was horror that I’d nearly run over her child and an immediate commitment to change.

First she responded with excuses, so I repeated ‘supervise your children’, then she said basically PM me Hun. That’s when I lost my rag.

I didn’t want excuses or reasons. I want them to not get killed or injured.

You were right not to engage with her privately - I would bet my house she had no interest in useful discussion, just wanted a private discussion to hurl abuse at you.

Im afraid the next time it happened, I'd be out of the car and reducing the small child to shocked tears in the hope it stopped them wanting to play in the road. It isn't the best educational tool but if the parent WON'T parent.. what else is there?

@WhatsAppening

The only response I wanted from her was horror that I’d nearly run over her child and an immediate commitment to change.

First she responded with excuses, so I repeated ‘supervise your children’, then she said basically PM me Hun. That’s when I lost my rag.

I didn’t want excuses or reasons. I want them to not get killed or injured.

But this is indicative of so much more than road safety.

It’s a strong indication of negligence in other aspects. A very strong indication.

So I would not have taken it to the community.

I would have taken it to social services.

This has been going on for months