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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend annoyed with me because of Covid result

250 replies

FuckingFabulous · 01/08/2021 18:47

On Friday, my friend's DC and mine got together and spent a few hours hanging out playing a sport . We had a chat together when we collected our kids, then went our separate ways. On Saturday morning, my DH woke up dizzy, thought it was vestibular neuritis again, looked online for an OTC remedy and read a Harvard article about dizziness being a Covid symptom, so took a PCR. This morning, me and the DC did lat flows and mine had a very faint line. Texted the people we had been in contact with to give a cursory heads up. Took myself and DC for a test; while getting it, DH got his back positive. Immediately texted all people we were in contact with to let them know there was a positive in our household. This particular friend read the message and didn't respond, but immediately put up a Facebook post saying she was furious that someone she had been in contact with had Covid and put her CV self and her child at risk for a game of football rather than staying home and being safe and considerate, and if she dies she hopes they feel guilty for being such a selfish fucker.

Uh.

How do I respond to that?

OP posts:
Ohbuggeroffcovid · 01/08/2021 22:49

Personally I would reply with.

‘U ok hun? PM me who it is.’

JellyJellyTooToo · 01/08/2021 22:49

She isn’t a friend OP

BecauseMyRingBurnsSheila · 01/08/2021 22:54

Honestly, every time we meet up with people we're taking a risk. My DD had her first play date in 18 months, then the father of the house tested positive. So she had to isolate. The parents were very apologetic but I took the risk and it didn't work out. We didn't catch it thankfully but the risk was there. Now I'm being hyper cautious and other friends are being very understanding fortunately. Your friend is pissed off but she met you out of her own free will. Your DH had zero symptoms till he had symptoms and then it's too late of course. Hope your family feels better soon and your friend is a knob.

Doodlebug71 · 01/08/2021 22:56

@ChittyChittyBangBangChicken

She's probably scared, fair enough, but if she's that paranoid, she needs to not be meeting up with people unless absolutely necessary. No-one knows they're infected from the moment they catch anything, and it's not fair to blame others for something they couldn't help, when she's been happy enough to take the risk of mingling.
This particular friend read the message and didn't respond, but immediately put up a Facebook post saying she was furious that someone she had been in contact with had Covid and put her CV self and her child at risk for a game of football rather than staying home and being safe and considerate, and if she dies she hopes they feel guilty for being such a selfish fucker.

She's CEV. She'll have been shielding for 18 months. Did you consider who you've been in contact with before spending time with her? If not, why not? Every decision you make impacts on someone else. This is how. You may not give a shit about covid. She does.

CV and CEV people are being thrown under the bus with the lifting of restrictions. We're all trying to stay safe. For that, we're called paranoid, ridiculous, and all sorts of other ignorant shit.

if you can't/refuse to be considerate, and consider every action you take in relation to how that affects your CV/CEV friends, please just stay away from CV/CEV friends, and explain that you can't be arsed to take their wellbeing into account. At least then, they'll know.

Doodlebug71 · 01/08/2021 22:57

@BecauseMyRingBurnsSheila

Honestly, every time we meet up with people we're taking a risk. My DD had her first play date in 18 months, then the father of the house tested positive. So she had to isolate. The parents were very apologetic but I took the risk and it didn't work out. We didn't catch it thankfully but the risk was there. Now I'm being hyper cautious and other friends are being very understanding fortunately. Your friend is pissed off but she met you out of her own free will. Your DH had zero symptoms till he had symptoms and then it's too late of course. Hope your family feels better soon and your friend is a knob.
friend is *not a knob. Not at all.
PurpleOkapi · 01/08/2021 23:01

She's CEV. She'll have been shielding for 18 months. Did you consider who you've been in contact with before spending time with her? If not, why not? Every decision you make impacts on someone else. This is how. You may not give a shit about covid. She does.

Presumably because the CEV friend didn't ask her to. Nothing in OP's posts indicates that OP lied to the friend about anything. If a CEV person isn't comfortable spending time with someone without knowing more about their recent activities, then it's on them to ask that person about those activities. Her failure to do so is no one's fault but her own. It isn't OP's job to read her mind and guess at what level of risk she is and isn't willing to accept, and her belief that it is shows an astounding level of entitlement.

Jumpingintosummer · 01/08/2021 23:01

*This particular friend read the message and didn't respond, but immediately put up a Facebook post saying she was furious that someone she had been in contact with had Covid and put her CV self and her child at risk for a game of football rather than staying home and being safe and considerate, and if she dies she hopes they feel guilty for being such a selfish fucker.

She's CEV. She'll have been shielding for 18 months. Did you consider who you've been in contact with before spending time with her? If not, why not? Every decision you make impacts on someone else. This is how. You may not give a shit about covid. She does.

CV and CEV people are being thrown under the bus with the lifting of restrictions. We're all trying to stay safe. For that, we're called paranoid, ridiculous, and all sorts of other ignorant shit.

if you can't/refuse to be considerate, and consider every action you take in relation to how that affects your CV/CEV friends, please just stay away from CV/CEV friends, and explain that you can't be arsed to take their wellbeing into account. At least then, they'll know*

@Doodlebug71 surely the friend should be taking her own health into consideration!

Maskless · 01/08/2021 23:02

What a bitchy drama queen you have there!

Why would she "die"?

PurpleMustang · 01/08/2021 23:03

She is being a bitch and posting on fb for full drama effect and attention but she is lying. I would post on it saying if your are referring to me notifying you that we have tested positive as symptoms appeared on xxx day and we had already seen you on xxx day then i don't know why you are posting this as the facts are untrue and everyone knows even the vaccinated can still catch it and I needed to let you know.

PurpleMustang · 01/08/2021 23:06

Actually I would finish it off with, as some people are asymptomatic, we may have caught it off you.

Smallkeys · 01/08/2021 23:08

If she didn’t mention you by name ignore her and message her privately if you want to stay friends otherwise give her a wide berth. If you do just say sorry but we had zero symptoms the day we met up and hopefully her and the family are in the clear.

TSSDNCOP · 01/08/2021 23:08

That's an enormously unfair post. The OP had no idea they were positive at the time they mixed.

Once she realised she contacted everyone she'd been in contact with.

Everyone is well aware of the risks to CV/CEV people, but OP didn't know her personal status until after the event.

Every CV/CEV person I know (many) are managing their own risk eg getting vaccine ensuring events in open space, declining indoor events,
asking people if they've done an LFT. It sucks for them but they are being pragmatic.

Chish · 01/08/2021 23:09

@Iwantamarshmallowman

I wouldn't grace it with a responce but i would terminate the friendship with immediate effect

This 👆

Newbornandupwards · 01/08/2021 23:17

I'd like to reply 'I share your frustration. We also met up with someone for football on Friday and two days later we all tested positive for covid. Selfish fuckers everywhere right now.' Then block her.

Best reply, you know you want to....

Mickarooni · 01/08/2021 23:17

@Doodlebug71

We don’t know if friend was actually shielding as OP said CV. Shielding has ended too, several months ago. I’m CEV with an immune deficiency that means I don’t respond to vaccines and I think the woman is BVU. The OP did not go out knowing she had been in contact with someone with covid. The husband developed symptoms the day after. Even if the friend is CEV, she has no right to act as if the OP knowingly did anything wrong.

Cattailkitty · 01/08/2021 23:25

Where are you OP that results come back so quickly?

FuckingFabulous · 01/08/2021 23:30

She's CEV. She'll have been shielding for 18 months. Did you consider who you've been in contact with before spending time with her? If not, why not? Every decision you make impacts on someone else. This is how. You may not give a shit about covid. She does.

Actually, I'm trying not to be too outing, but fuck it. This has annoyed me.

Yes, we all did LFT's the night before we met up, except my CLINICALLY VULNERABLE husband who was working a night shift. Considering his vulnerability is based on his respiratory function, I know full fucking well what it is to be afraid of Covid, so actually, yeah, I do give a shit about it. My DS was going to indoor football anyway, She messaged us and asked if her DS could tag along! I offered to give her DS a ride home so she didn't have to come into the venue and she declined and said she'd like to have a coffee in the little cafe they have. She also came in without a mask on!

AND I've just been treated to FB photos of her currently on her way home from the pub in a big group of people. So......

OP posts:
FuckingFabulous · 01/08/2021 23:31

@Cattailkitty

Where are you OP that results come back so quickly?
Southern England. Every PCR I have taken in the last six months has been back in under 24hrs. Usually about 15
OP posts:
Jumpingintosummer · 01/08/2021 23:33

@FuckingFabulous

She's CEV. She'll have been shielding for 18 months. Did you consider who you've been in contact with before spending time with her? If not, why not? Every decision you make impacts on someone else. This is how. You may not give a shit about covid. She does.

Actually, I'm trying not to be too outing, but fuck it. This has annoyed me.

Yes, we all did LFT's the night before we met up, except my CLINICALLY VULNERABLE husband who was working a night shift. Considering his vulnerability is based on his respiratory function, I know full fucking well what it is to be afraid of Covid, so actually, yeah, I do give a shit about it. My DS was going to indoor football anyway, She messaged us and asked if her DS could tag along! I offered to give her DS a ride home so she didn't have to come into the venue and she declined and said she'd like to have a coffee in the little cafe they have. She also came in without a mask on!

AND I've just been treated to FB photos of her currently on her way home from the pub in a big group of people. So......

She is a complete knob!
TopBlogger · 01/08/2021 23:33

CV and CEV people are being thrown under the bus with the lifting of restrictions. We're all trying to stay safe. For that, we're called paranoid, ridiculous, and all sorts of other ignorant shit.

Or she could have stayed home if she is that bothered. There's a thought. Take responsibility for her own health rather than blaming someone who was not ill, had no symptoms and whose DH wasnt ill until the next day ffs

Your next post "Why should she stay home? She has as much right as everyone else to be out." Because she is CEV/CV and as a PP said, people dont have a crystal ball to tell them they and their DH will have Covid in the next few days.

BluebellsGreenbells · 01/08/2021 23:34

Well you know who she is now. Block and ignore.

Cattailkitty · 01/08/2021 23:35

@Fucking Fabulous - wow that's impressive! Must be a north-side divide then

Jumpingintosummer · 01/08/2021 23:39

[quote Cattailkitty]@Fucking Fabulous - wow that's impressive! Must be a north-side divide then[/quote]
@Cattailkitty four tests in our house last week all done at the same time, three back within 24hrs, fourth took 2.5 days Confused

MySecretHistory · 01/08/2021 23:39

[quote Cattailkitty]@Fucking Fabulous - wow that's impressive! Must be a north-side divide then[/quote]
North here. Test in person at 3.30pm. Results back at 10.30 am
Posted test at about 2pm in priority box, results back at 12pm

Both in last 2 weeks.

SecretKeeper1 · 01/08/2021 23:40

[quote Cattailkitty]@Fucking Fabulous - wow that's impressive! Must be a north-side divide then[/quote]
My daughter and her friends all had to have PCRs recently, all were back in around 20 hours - Yorkshire.