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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a witty comeback to uncle dickhead

259 replies

Boxesonwardrobes · 30/07/2021 18:09

Going to a wedding next week and my Uncle Dickhead will make a dig about me being a SAHP. Think “why don’t you get a job and take the pressure off Mr Boxes?”, “when are you going to contribute to society again?”, “haven’t you had enough of a holiday yet?” type thing (all actual examples).

For context, my kids are 5 & 2, previous to being a SAHP I was in academia, and DH earns well so we’re not short of money. My eldest is disabled and has SEN, she’s the reason I’m a SAHP, and me being at home has really helped her. I am her carer, and do lots of voluntary stuff related to her disability. I realise how lucky I am to have been able to make this choice. Everyone in my family is happy with this situation right now.

I haven’t really responded in the past as my mum hates conflict. But he’s such a wanker, I can’t let him keep putting me down in this way.

Any ideas? I’m thinking…

  • I’m more than happy embracing my mediocrity thanks
  • The amount of work involved in raising a disabled child is more than you could possibly comprehend, so mind your own business
  • Fuck off

Thanks in advance

OP posts:
chunderwunder · 30/07/2021 19:47

Whatever you do don't justify your choices. Don't say it works for your family, don't say you're caring for a disabled child. He's not interested in reasons and you owe him no explanation.

Just tell him your life is nothing to do with him. Or tell him to fuck off.

NiceGerbil · 30/07/2021 19:47

@toocold54

Because Mr Boxes is a dirty, filthy bastard who constantly needs filthy, dirty, anal sex, and tbh Uncle Dickhead, some days I can barely walk afterwards never mind get to work'

😂😂😂

Don't say that he'll tell everyone at the wedding Shock
speakout · 30/07/2021 19:48

Whatever you do don't justify your choices. Don't say it works for your family, don't say you're caring for a disabled child. He's not interested in reasons and you owe him no explanation.

Totally agree.

a1poshpaws · 30/07/2021 19:50

@Beachtrip

6500 languages in this world and you insist on speaking bullshit.
This one! This One!! It's pure Gold.
Langy654321 · 30/07/2021 19:50

@speakout

Whatever you do don't justify your choices. Don't say it works for your family, don't say you're caring for a disabled child. He's not interested in reasons and you owe him no explanation.

Totally agree.

Agree too! Been there done that, just begins a passive aggressive argument
MrsRussell · 30/07/2021 19:52

I'm bringing up my children, Uncle Dickhead.
I'm not sure who brought you up, but it surely wasn't Mr Manners.

DarkDarkNight · 30/07/2021 19:53

I’ve got a couple of Uncle Dickheads in my family so can sympathise. He sounds jealous, I don’t think I’d try to explain, just lean in to it which will wind him up more.

If he asks when you’re going to contribute to society don’t try to justify the important job you’re doing just say ‘DH is such a high earner he contributes more than enough for the both of us’ (tinkly laugh).

To the holiday comment instead of pointing out looking after a disabled child is hardly a holiday I would say ‘oh I don’t think so, I’m loving life as it is/I’m too busy enjoying myself’ etc.

Hugoslavia · 30/07/2021 19:53

I would just say something to rile him such as, 'yes, but when would I have time to go off and play golf?' and then walk off.

AJB3001 · 30/07/2021 19:56

Suck a dead horses dick you twunt (because twat or The C word alone just doesn't cut it)

toocold54 · 30/07/2021 19:58

Whatever you do don't justify your choices. Don't say it works for your family, don't say you're caring for a disabled child. He's not interested in reasons and you owe him no explanation.

I agree.
Unless he is stupid he knows how being a SAHP is difficult and he doesn’t want a true explanation he just wants to belittle you and make you feel like shit.

DeepDown12 · 30/07/2021 19:59

'When are you going to contribute to society again?'
'Interesting question. When are YOU planning to do it?'

'When will you go back to work...?'
'As soon as you start minding your own business/learn some manners.'

'Haven't you had enough holiday...?'
'You think answering rude questions from random relatives is a holiday?'

annacondom · 30/07/2021 19:59

@Foghead

Just laugh at him say ‘I knew you were going to say that again. You need some new topics of conversation’ and walk off.
I like this one. Don't take him seriously, and don't explain.
frogswimming · 30/07/2021 20:00

Feeling inadequate that you can't afford for your wife to give up work?

AngryWhompingWillow · 30/07/2021 20:03

@Boxesonwardrobes

Either say 'mind your own fucking business..'

OR... Just try sarcasm. Say something like...........

'I am just a lazy fucking freeloader who likes to leech off my husband. I may have another 2 or 3 children yet, so I never have to work again, as I am soooooooooo lazy!' Then roll your eyes, and turn your back on him.

What does your husband think about this rude 'uncle?' If anyone had spoken to me like this, my DH would have given them a short shrift, and told them to stay out of our business.

AngryWhompingWillow · 30/07/2021 20:03

@frogswimming

Feeling inadequate that you can't afford for your wife to give up work?
That's fucking brilliant! Grin
billysboy · 30/07/2021 20:03

Don’t engage or give him any ammo just tell him to fuck off

Graphista · 30/07/2021 20:04

Also "fuck off"

But whisper it while grinning

I'm unemployed due to sickness/disability. I have a relative who also pulled this crap at family gatherings, I no longer speak to them, makes my life much simpler.

@LemonLymanDotCom's is good though

@CagneyNYPD's idea also good and is a tactic I've used on occasion

@AutistGoth yes the gene wilder one is good too!

TheTallOakTrees · 30/07/2021 20:04

Just wondered @Boxesonwardrobes what does he do for a living? Why is he so focused on what you do. A disabled child is plenty enough to focus on. He sounds awful, I hope you find a good retort to make him feel the dick he is.

Taoneusa · 30/07/2021 20:05

“ You dont understand our family life decisions. Don’t you worry your little head about what we do, we’re very happy, Thankyou. “
pat him on the head

Enko · 30/07/2021 20:06

I wouldn't say f off he will feel he won as he riled you.

I would instead tilt my head to the side and say "I have noticed this subject is really important to you as you bring it up every time we meet. Are you ok?" Lower tone or stage whisper " ohhhh are you in financial trouble?"

Staffy1 · 30/07/2021 20:10

@Craftycorvid

‘Ah, there you are, uncle Dickhead! Funny how no family wedding would be complete without the embarrassing relative who always says something really inappropriate.’ Tinkly laugh.
I love this, especially with the actual words “Uncle Dickhead”. I think you should call him that, with our without an “oops, I mean “.
Curbaisti · 30/07/2021 20:10

Your point?

HelloDulling · 30/07/2021 20:11

Hateful man. I would reply with another question. Something like:

How much experience do you have as the carer to a disabled child?

And then watch him gulp air as her tries to reply.

AlternativePerspective · 30/07/2021 20:11

I might not be working right now but you’re ugly and I can always get a job, where as you…. .

gluteustothemaximus · 30/07/2021 20:12

Wow. I didn't realise men like you still existed. Your poor wife.

Pull sad face. Walk off.

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