To want a witty comeback to uncle dickhead

[Boxesonwardrobes]

Going to a wedding next week and my Uncle Dickhead will make a dig about me being a SAHP. Think “why don’t you get a job and take the pressure off Mr Boxes?”, “when are you going to contribute to society again?”, “haven’t you had enough of a holiday yet?” type thing (all actual examples).

For context, my kids are 5 & 2, previous to being a SAHP I was in academia, and DH earns well so we’re not short of money. My eldest is disabled and has SEN, she’s the reason I’m a SAHP, and me being at home has really helped her. I am her carer, and do lots of voluntary stuff related to her disability. I realise how lucky I am to have been able to make this choice. Everyone in my family is happy with this situation right now.

I haven’t really responded in the past as my mum hates conflict. But he’s such a wanker, I can’t let him keep putting me down in this way.

Any ideas? I’m thinking…

• I’m more than happy embracing my mediocrity thanks
• The amount of work involved in raising a disabled child is more than you could possibly comprehend, so mind your own business
• Fuck off

Thanks in advance

I'd be tempted to troll him, I'd tell him not to worry and that you earn excellent money working online direct from your bedroom, with a wink.

What does he do for a living? You could go with "I'm surprised that you think you're qualified to tell other people how to live their lives, considering ..."

When is the wedding?

You could try a blank, slightly confused look, for longer than necessary. If he looks at you expectantly for an answer, say 'Oh, I thought that was rhetorical.' Then walk off.

@tenredthings

I'd be tempted to troll him, I'd tell him not to worry and that you earn excellent money working online direct from your bedroom, with a wink.

perfect

You do you Uncle Dick and whilst you do, wind your neck back in?

Because then I wouldn't have enough time to focus on my Onlyfans page?

Him: why don’t you get a job and take the pressure off Mr Boxes?
You: why don’t you get a grip and take the pressure off me and everyone else here who doesn’t give a shit what you have to say about our lives?

@Boxesonwardrobes how was the wedding? Did UncleDickhead perform to expectations?

Does being a cunt come naturally or do you have to work at it?