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Original poster

Exercising in Public Whilst Female

177 replies

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/07/2021 14:15

It's more a 'Ugh, why is this still happening to me?' whinge than anything else.

I'm old (48), I'm fat (not telling you how much) and I like going to the gym. I normally go with DP because the timings work out well, but I'm not working this week and wanted to check out a different gym because they have a pool. So I booked a trial session and went there whilst he was still snoring in bed. I'm a grown up, I don't need a man present to help me make decisions.

Since DP has been coming to the gym with me, I've stopped getting changed there as he's self conscious about getting undressed and dressed around others and it's quite nice collapsing into a hot bath afterwards rather than all the smells of hair products opportunities for Athletes' Foot and Covid and whatnots from a communal changing room. So it seemed normal to wear my kit to this new gym and back, as it's what we've been doing for months since they all reopened. Nothing special, just a pair of compression leggings in green and black, black t-shirt and some stupidly expensive running shoes so I don't break myself.

It's about 120m from the bus stop and our house. For the last 50m or so, the road is narrow, very busy and if there's an HGV or bin lorry going south, vehicles frequently bump up onto the pavement to get through, so there's no way on earth I'm keeping earphones in for that stretch, as I want to know if there's something coming up behind me before I get splatted.

THREE FUCKING CARS of men bibbing their horns and shouting shit at me in that 50m. Three. Perhaps I should appreciate that there wasn't any FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGG shit this time (fucking MAMILs are the worst for that until they have to stop in traffic and realise I'm running like a T-1000 Terminator towards them and have bloody massive bicep development ), but it's really pissed me off this morning.

Seriously, I'm sick of this shit. I'd thought (hoped) I'd become invisible at last this year, but no, the only reason I hadn't been shouted at was because I had a man with me.

I haven't had any trouble in gyms for years and that was only the once from a pair of meatheads who were promptly banned. The only shit I've got plodding round the rec was from a couple of much younger women having a fag at the children's playground who thought I shouldn't be seen in public/wearing proper kit when I'm fat and old. But dare to walk home alone wearing gym kit, oh, the entire fucking world feels the need to shout about it.

JUST FUCK OFF.

OP posts:
ChainJane · 28/07/2021 14:20

It's just normal isn't it? Confused I've been out jogging once in my life and have been shouted at four times whilst I've been out jogging. It's not an age thing or even a gender thing, everyone gets shouted at whilst exercising in public, that's why they usually wear headphones, old or young, male or female, fat or thin, running or cycling or whatever.

ChainJane · 28/07/2021 14:21

I should add - I think it happens when people are exercising alone. Pairs or groups of people don't get shouted at so much.

PumpkinKlNG · 28/07/2021 14:24

What do they shout? I don’t exercise outside so just wondering?

inthesark · 28/07/2021 14:25

Outside the house is MANWORLD. Women are meant to be inside the house. That's it. It's the only explanation I have for this.

FittedSheet · 28/07/2021 14:26

@ChainJane

It's just normal isn't it? Confused I've been out jogging once in my life and have been shouted at four times whilst I've been out jogging. It's not an age thing or even a gender thing, everyone gets shouted at whilst exercising in public, that's why they usually wear headphones, old or young, male or female, fat or thin, running or cycling or whatever.
No, it’s not ‘normal’. Hmm

I run, and none of my male running club mates have ever been subjected to abuse about their body while out on a run.

Women, particularly older or overweight women, get it all the time. I once had a van of men throw a McDonald's milkshake over me as I was running in London, and that wasn’t even the worst by a long shot. A (thin, 40 year old female) runner friend had two men she was passing in a park pull down her running tights.

MakeMineALarge1 · 28/07/2021 14:27

I have been running on and off for 10 years, I walk every day on my own, once I have had something shouted at me once!

MakeMineALarge1 · 28/07/2021 14:28

I must be in the minority.

EmoIsntDead · 28/07/2021 14:29

@ChainJane

It's just normal isn't it? Confused I've been out jogging once in my life and have been shouted at four times whilst I've been out jogging. It's not an age thing or even a gender thing, everyone gets shouted at whilst exercising in public, that's why they usually wear headphones, old or young, male or female, fat or thin, running or cycling or whatever.
Eh? Of course it’s not fucking NORMAL! What a bloody ridiculous thing to say
ShinySquirrel · 28/07/2021 14:29

Yep. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm angry that it's still happening.

InTheseUncertainTimes · 28/07/2021 14:31

God that sounds depressing. I run and go to the gym and haven't noticed this, but I wonder if I'm getting shouted at now, and just don't realise because I always have my ear buds in and music loud on (I'm not running on dangerous roads, thankfully). They can most definitely just fuck off.

Oddbutnotodd · 28/07/2021 14:31

I’ve never had anyone shout at me and I’m older than you. I’m rural though.

purplesequins · 28/07/2021 14:33

@inthesark

Outside the house is MANWORLD. Women are meant to be inside the house. That's it. It's the only explanation I have for this.
yep, sadly this. I made myself a points card when living in london. one point for each unwanted attention, double points if from white van. it's awful.

not in uk anymore and the only attention from a male on my run was a friendly hello.

ChaToilLeam · 28/07/2021 14:34

It’s fucking ridiculous - and something I’ve only ever experienced in the UK. Don’t know why.

Original poster
NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/07/2021 14:36

@ChainJane

I should add - I think it happens when people are exercising alone. Pairs or groups of people don't get shouted at so much.
DP's not had a problem, although he's got a bald/shaven head and looks like a small brick shithouse since I've been training him, which probably has something to do with it.

I'm venting because you always hear 'get to 40 and you'll be invisible' and I'd almost begun to believe that was happening.

Guess I'll just have to keep on working until I can drag the poor bugger out fell running. The greater frequency of MAMILs is a risk, mind, but we'll be able to go places where they'd disappear into the mud and sheep don't care whether your arse is big or not.

Grrr. I just needed a vent. A punch bag workout would be nice, though.

OP posts:
JosephineDeBeauharnais · 28/07/2021 14:38

It is awful Flowers I’m lucky in that I exercise outdoors every day, often run but haven’t had this happen to me. I’m old and thin though so that makes me invisible to the male gaze I think.

HoppSuisse · 28/07/2021 14:48

I'm nearly 50 and run alone outside regularly in gym gear. I have never had anything other than a friendly hello. I am not in the UK though.

Really shocked that this is considered 'normal' there Shock -And I do appreciate not everyone will consider this normal, the fact that anyone does though, as opposed to it being the occasional arse, is really shocking. No wonder there's an obesity crises Sad

pleasedonttextmyman · 28/07/2021 14:56

of course it's not normal.

I am female, and I don't get any abuse when I run or exercise out.

I only got called out when I was running pregnant and a few oldies telling me it wasn't good for the baby 😂

I never got anything worst than a few disgusted looks and giggling from some female occasionally at the gym, which I happily ignore.

OverByYer · 28/07/2021 14:56

I’m a regular runner. Get beeped at least once or a comment.
Usual response is a one finger salute.
Which is all well and good until it’s one of my mates giving a friendly toot. They understand why though Grin

FittedSheet · 28/07/2021 15:00

@HoppSuisse

I'm nearly 50 and run alone outside regularly in gym gear. I have never had anything other than a friendly hello. I am not in the UK though.

Really shocked that this is considered 'normal' there Shock -And I do appreciate not everyone will consider this normal, the fact that anyone does though, as opposed to it being the occasional arse, is really shocking. No wonder there's an obesity crises Sad

Well, yes, exactly. To all those well-meant campaigns about ‘This girl can’, encouraging girls to do sport and getting women active etc, I want to say ‘Well, you’re going to have to deal with hostile/entitled male attitudes to all shapes, ages and sizes of female body getting sweaty in public’, if you really want women to do this.

For a certain subsection of men, an ageing, heavy or not conventionally attractive female body publicly exercising is a red rag to a bull.

I’ve just thought of two more incidents from female runner friends — one was running on a canal towpath and was barged into the water by a gang of youths. Another — a beginner Couch to 5k in her 50s — was in around week 2 and ran past a pub beer garden, where a table of men jeered ‘Speed up, fatty!’ and chanted ‘Jellybelly, jellybelly’ at her till she was out of sight. It absolutely crushed her confidence, because for her it was a big deal to get out there in the first place. I think she no longer runs alone at all.

RobotandPenguin · 28/07/2021 15:05

It's true that as a fat (but not as fat as I was) 42 year old woman, I am invisible to everyone until that moment I go running in public. I was actually going to start a thread last night but was too upset as I went for a run after one of those soul-crushingly awful working days, which also happened to be the anniversary of the death of someone I loved very much and I really thought that a run in the fresh air would clear my head. This young teenage girl decided to do an exaggerated run alongside me, holding out her arms to look like a fat person, wobbling and huffing while her mother laughed and egged her on. I burst into tears in front of them. So it's not just men, although it usually is.

I've had blokes yell at me, laugh at me, shove me out of the way and on one memorable occasion, a very kindly looking elderly gentleman was there just as I turned a corner; he broke into a big smile and I thought he was being lovely so I grinned back, only for him to say "bloody hell, I thought it was an earthquake but it was only you thundering along".

The thing is, I genuinely love running. I might not be the fastest but I have the stamina to go for miles. It clears my head and does my mental health the world of good. Alongside a few other lifestyle changes, I can see my weight changing and that spurs me on to run more so I just keep telling myself that I am achieving something they, in their small minds, could never imagine.

Still stings at the time though.

Faultymain5 · 28/07/2021 15:06

@ChainJane

It's just normal isn't it? Confused I've been out jogging once in my life and have been shouted at four times whilst I've been out jogging. It's not an age thing or even a gender thing, everyone gets shouted at whilst exercising in public, that's why they usually wear headphones, old or young, male or female, fat or thin, running or cycling or whatever.
It really is not normal. I used to run in central London, no shouting, I used to run in Regents Park (how I miss it) no shouting. I live in the outskirts of London, run locally, no shouting. Not sure where you live, but it is not and should not be considered normal.
RonObvious · 28/07/2021 15:11

With regards to the fat comments - I’ve been called that before when running, and I’m a UK size 8. Fat has become a generic insult to try and make people feel bad about themselves, and is no reflection on how you actually look. Ignore the fuckers.

The worst one I had was a car that drove past me one way, did a u-turn whilst beeping and shouting, crawled behind me for a while, then pulled over a bit further ahead. I would like to say that I gave them a piece of my mind, but I’m afraid that I crossed the road and fucking sprinted home. Utter bastards.

ComDummings · 28/07/2021 15:11

Men hate women but they especially hate fat women. If you dare to be fat and wear exercise clothes in public it’s like you’re wearing a target for these absolute cocks, I’m so sorry OP. Having been both very fat and quite slim over the years it sucks. Fat = invisible when you’re wearing normal clothes. But when you’re wearing workout gear it’s like you’ve got a neon sign over your head to these subhumans. I don’t know what the answer is?

Original poster
NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/07/2021 15:14

To all those well-meant campaigns about ‘This girl can’, encouraging girls to do sport and getting women active etc, I want to say ‘Well, you’re going to have to deal with hostile/entitled male attitudes to all shapes, ages and sizes of female body getting sweaty in public’, if you really want women to do this

Oh, I think that it would definitely make an interesting training montage to create a video If Rocky Had Been Female.

I've already given the commonest one - FAAAAAAAAAAAT SLAAAAAAAAG, complete with Doppler effect as their vehicle moves further away.

Then there's 'You need to do some exercise, you're really fat' from a MAMIL as I was walking across a zebra crossing.

'WAHAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY'

'FAT ARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE'

'I just wanted to say that you have a really fat pussy. Do you like anal?'

'It's too late, you're fat already'

'Cake shop's closing soon, best RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN'

'I'd like those thighs wrapped round my head'

Female Rocky - Frocky - wouldn't have been followed by a bunch of happy children, she'd have been pursued by men all desperate to tell her that she was/wasn't fuckable. The bloke on the bike or in a car following wouldn't have been helping with training, it would have been to intimidate her. And when she caught the chicken, it wouldn't have been a triumph of speed, reaction times and agility, it would have been to the sounds of 'And how do YOU like YOUR eggs in the morning, hurr-hurr-hurr?'

OP posts:
FittedSheet · 28/07/2021 15:17

@RonObvious

With regards to the fat comments - I’ve been called that before when running, and I’m a UK size 8. Fat has become a generic insult to try and make people feel bad about themselves, and is no reflection on how you actually look. Ignore the fuckers.

The worst one I had was a car that drove past me one way, did a u-turn whilst beeping and shouting, crawled behind me for a while, then pulled over a bit further ahead. I would like to say that I gave them a piece of my mind, but I’m afraid that I crossed the road and fucking sprinted home. Utter bastards.

Obviously, you should ignore them, but it can grind you down over time. I realised at one point — and I genuinely enjoy and enjoyed running — that I was having to steel myself before stepping out my front door for a run, and I’m a confident person.

@Faultymain5, I lived in Herne Hill, Vauxhall, and Finsbury Park, and ran around those areas, on streets and in parks like Finsbury Park, Clissold Park, Battersea Park in the 1990s and 2000s. I left London in 2012. I hope things have improved.