Page 7 | Exercising in Public Whilst Female

CatherineAragon · 29/07/2021 16:59

Women are still being represented all the time in media as just bodies. All over the place. The dreaded DM is one of the worst. Just loads and loads of photos of women in bikinis, women in tight clothes, etc. All ‘flaunting” and ‘showcasing’ apparently. Not just going for a swim or out with their friends. The subtext is women are only as good as their bodies. It’s disgusting misogyny but no one ever tries to do anything about it. It infiltrates every area of life . The influence of porn goes hand in glove.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 29/07/2021 17:00

Wasn't me being that brave, IntermittentParps, it was plominoagain. I'd like to think I'd have that presence of mind but I doubt it.

Good on you, plominoagain

IntermittentParps · 29/07/2021 17:04

Oops, sorry plominoagain! Kudos to you.
Sorry Lying!

Feelingoktoday · 29/07/2021 17:11

I was on my bike and a white van slowed down, the passenger (male) opened his window and slapped my bum as the driver put his foot down. How I never fell off I will never know but I had a huge black bruise for weeks. My then boyfriend was cycling about 500m in front of me and they didn’t touch him.

Itsmeagainandagain · 29/07/2021 17:21

I occasionally get shouted at and don't wear gym clothes, workout ect. I'm called ugly, ugly bastard, state of her ect. Wish people would stop it, they don't. I have zero confidence and apart from work rarely leave my home. You have confidence though, you go to the gym and attempt to fix flaws you have. When I see women jogging I think I wish I was like them.
I guess it's a certain breed of mutant that feels they are entitled in this world to shout abuse at people going about their day.

plominoagain · 29/07/2021 17:48

I don't know about presence of mind - I just reacted in sheer visceral rage! In the end I let them go because I was SO angry that my girl was worried I was about to drag them out of the van. Having been in a career that started off very male orientated for nearly 30 years and involves daily confrontations, I'm so used to it that I'm usually very laid back no matter what . Not that day.

Battleneck · 29/07/2021 19:52

This reply has been deleted

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Chickenyhead · 29/07/2021 19:54

Women sabotaging women's aims by disagreeing with a man 🤫

DismantledKing · 29/07/2021 20:56

Battleneck

You’ve already ruined one thread with your refusal to listen and sheer entitlement. Now you’re on this one too?

SquashMinusIsShit · 29/07/2021 21:29

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-frontline-workers-women-harassment-b1892102.html%3famp

I read this earlier, we can't exercise without harassment & we can't work either.

Original poster

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/07/2021 21:59

Quick update, as we went for a run today. Not one word from anybody at the Rec, including the man thundering around at a pace that made me wonder if there was an invisible bear chasing him. DP was somewhere ahead of me, so I looked like I was alone. The usual polite giving of space from a fellow masochist runner. Nothing on the way home.

And then DP popped into the shop to get some teabags whilst I waited outside as I couldn't find my facemask.

Apparently, I am a 'damn thicc girl'. Because what you really need to hear when you're standing in the pissing rain outside Tesco's because you're that desperate for a cuppa and don't fancy walking along the narrow road by yourself when there are huge puddles to be driven through is that your arse and thighs meet some new standard of female attractiveness. The security guard steps out and gives a brilliant Paddington Bear Stare and the latest appraiser melts away like candy floss in water before he can demand my name/phone number/whatever creepy as fuck thing he was going to say next.

I really need to get fit enough to go trail running. Or move somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

OP posts:

Ehhhhhhhh · 01/08/2021 03:26

Whilst female? In comparison to being male?

Chickenyhead · 01/08/2021 03:29

@Ehhhhhhhh

Whilst female? In comparison to being male?

Weird.

Women exercising in public.

Better?

SourAppleChew · 01/08/2021 03:42

I’m surprised about the meatheads. Contrary to public opinion, getting physically huge takes a lot of effort and knowledge and most of these guys are really dedicated/take it seriously - far from the bonehead stereotype. The most supportive and humble guys I’ve met have been those at the powerlifting gym I used to go to.

Laserbird16 · 01/08/2021 03:44

Urgh I'm sorry that happened

I think this sums it up, The Mash Report: Women Tell Everyone to Fuck Off

Hippopotas · 01/08/2021 07:17

When I run on my own I get comments about my weight mainly from teenagers and men. It’s disheartening as I’m trying my best to lose weight and get fit.

When I run with the running group or with my DH there are zero comments.

Polkadots2021 · 01/08/2021 08:10

@NeverDropYourMooncup

It's more a 'Ugh, why is this still happening to me?' whinge than anything else.

I'm old (48), I'm fat (not telling you how much) and I like going to the gym. I normally go with DP because the timings work out well, but I'm not working this week and wanted to check out a different gym because they have a pool. So I booked a trial session and went there whilst he was still snoring in bed. I'm a grown up, I don't need a man present to help me make decisions.

Since DP has been coming to the gym with me, I've stopped getting changed there as he's self conscious about getting undressed and dressed around others and it's quite nice collapsing into a hot bath afterwards rather than all the smells of hair products opportunities for Athletes' Foot and Covid and whatnots from a communal changing room. So it seemed normal to wear my kit to this new gym and back, as it's what we've been doing for months since they all reopened. Nothing special, just a pair of compression leggings in green and black, black t-shirt and some stupidly expensive running shoes so I don't break myself.

It's about 120m from the bus stop and our house. For the last 50m or so, the road is narrow, very busy and if there's an HGV or bin lorry going south, vehicles frequently bump up onto the pavement to get through, so there's no way on earth I'm keeping earphones in for that stretch, as I want to know if there's something coming up behind me before I get splatted.

THREE FUCKING CARS of men bibbing their horns and shouting shit at me in that 50m. Three. Perhaps I should appreciate that there wasn't any FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGG shit this time (fucking MAMILs are the worst for that until they have to stop in traffic and realise I'm running like a T-1000 Terminator towards them and have bloody massive bicep development ), but it's really pissed me off this morning.

Seriously, I'm sick of this shit. I'd thought (hoped) I'd become invisible at last this year, but no, the only reason I hadn't been shouted at was because I had a man with me.

I haven't had any trouble in gyms for years and that was only the once from a pair of meatheads who were promptly banned. The only shit I've got plodding round the rec was from a couple of much younger women having a fag at the children's playground who thought I shouldn't be seen in public/wearing proper kit when I'm fat and old. But dare to walk home alone wearing gym kit, oh, the entire fucking world feels the need to shout about it.

JUST FUCK OFF.

I despair at humanity sometimes. I'm so sorry OP, there is something very wrong with the people that shouted at you. If it helps, I'm a PT and if I saw anyone shout that at you in our gym or in the vicinity of myself I'd have ripped up their member cards personally and given them what for in front of every one.

Original poster

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/08/2021 11:39

@SourAppleChew

I’m surprised about the meatheads. Contrary to public opinion, getting physically huge takes a lot of effort and knowledge and most of these guys are really dedicated/take it seriously - far from the bonehead stereotype. The most supportive and humble guys I’ve met have been those at the powerlifting gym I used to go to.

Me too, never had it before or since - and the gym staff at that place were great in dealing with it immediately and conclusively.

Whilst female? In comparison to being male?

Yes - in comparison to being male. DP has never had anything, I've not experienced it when visibly with him, either. But the moment I appear to be alone outside, all the cunts seem to be drawn to me.

Going to the gym this afternoon. It'll be fine on the way there, whilst there and on the way back - but the chances are that if DP decides to pop into a shop on the way back (and I don't particularly want to trail around any of them, I hate shopping at the best of times), all the cunts will be out in force for their one opportunity at sharing their opinions of me and at me.

OP posts:

bleachblondemom · 01/08/2021 13:02

A few years ago when I was trying to lose weight, I started running in my local area. One day I was running by the canal and two blokes who were fishing were shouting ‘wibble wobble wibble wobble’ and laughing. I went home, cried, and haven’t run since, nor have I ever told anyone that this happened. I stopped doing something I was perfectly happy doing because of those fucking cunts. I can’t tell you how many times in my head I’ve run up to them and said all the things I wish I had.
We get shamed for our imperfect bodies, and then we get shamed for trying to better ourselves.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/08/2021 13:42

bleachblondemom, I'm so angry for you. How bloody dare they?

Please, please, please think of a way that you can get back to doing that thing you love. No man should ever be able to influence us or stop us from just being. It's disgusting that they try.

What would do that for you? A comment along the lines of 'thanks for your opinion random arsehole' (courtesy of thread earlier this week - read it, it's really good)? Or noise cancelling headphones? Or an MP3 player full of really uplifting songs that will help you keep going?

Or, if you see that twat again, just push him in and say you slipped. Oopsie.

We can't get rid of these prats (sadly) but we can reduce their impact on us and there's a heck of a lot of support here for that. Don't let anybody take this activity you love away from you.

AnotherMarvellousThing · 01/08/2021 14:22

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

bleachblondemom, I'm so angry for you. How bloody dare they?

Please, please, please think of a way that you can get back to doing that thing you love. No man should ever be able to influence us or stop us from just being. It's disgusting that they try.

What would do that for you? A comment along the lines of 'thanks for your opinion random arsehole' (courtesy of thread earlier this week - read it, it's really good)? Or noise cancelling headphones? Or an MP3 player full of really uplifting songs that will help you keep going?

Or, if you see that twat again, just push him in and say you slipped. Oopsie.

We can't get rid of these prats (sadly) but we can reduce their impact on us and there's a heck of a lot of support here for that. Don't let anybody take this activity you love away from you.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe, while of course I agree with everything you say — as someone who also eventually stopped running after a series of such encounters, I’ve often found well-meaning responses that say ‘You should find a way of moving beyond it/dealing with it/ignoring it — don’t let them stop you!’ just add a layer of shame to the original humiliation/s, because I wasn’t able to find a way of dealing and I ‘let’ the knuckledraggers stop me running.

I’m a confident person, but when it’s not ‘just’ a once-off (and even one nasty comment is of course unacceptable) it does grind you down and chip away at you, and preparing psychologically to deal with that stuff every time you put your shoes on just robbed running of its pleasure. (For safety reasons I couldn’t run with headphones.)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/08/2021 14:30

AnotherMarvellousThing, Yes, you're right. I'm just so heart-sick of hearing/reading yet another thing that has been taken away from one more woman.

Where I live, there is quite a long by-pass and that seems to be where most runners run alongside. I was thinking about this the other day, seeing lone women on it and I was thinking how I wouldn't like it as it's so close to moving traffic so too many fumes but, because of this, it's inherently safer for women. It's busy - the traffic moves fast as the path is well away from cars so it would be difficult to lob anything at a runner and pointless to shout at them as it's a fast road - and you'd be seen and likely caught on somebody's phone/dashcam.

You're right in that it's not a question of a woman having to make this right, the reparation has to come from MEN. They need to stop this and if they won't stop it by themselves then they need to be stopped. We need a law against harassment of women.

I am really, really angry about this.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/08/2021 14:30

Sorry if I caused offence with my 'fixing' post previously.

Bluntness100 · 01/08/2021 14:38

I don’t run in public cor this reason, I did it once and the cat calling put me off for life, so it’s the treadmill for me. What really pissed me off was we were discussing this a few weeks ago with friends and all the blokes started taking the piss saying no way, people jog all the time, why would they be jeering at you, laughing and going on like I was lying about it. It really fucked me off, becayse it does happen.

Just because they don’t do it, doesn’t mean others don’t. There no where round here with lots of joggers, so when you do it, you’re basically alone, and subject to fucking twats shouting at you.

PersephoneJames · 01/08/2021 14:46

This is awful. I’m a runner and touch wood haven’t had anything but positive interactions, but my mum on her sixties was pushed off her bike by an angry red faced middle aged cunt of a man recently just for having the gall to be on a bike as an older woman.