AIBU to not want my son to do a class I can't observe?

[RainyNightInTallinn]

My DS4 is obsessed with martial arts. I found what appears to be a great Karate school which does classes for 3-12 year olds and looks really good. Only thing is they say parents can't observe the classes, not even the free trial class. They said it's to develop self-esteem and protect the privacy of all students.

Problem is, I feel uncomfortable just taking my shy 4-year-old along and sending him in along for an hour without me ever having met these teachers, not knowing this school, etc. These people are total strangers to me. AIBU? Am I being overprotective? I know we essentially do the same thing at normal school, but at school there are many adults, oversight, etc. at this karate school it's a couple who run it and teach groups of 4 kids at a time.

That's a young age for kids to be left but I guess it's the same as school and nursery where we leave them in the care of others without observing.

Except schools are regularly inspected by Ofsted and many parents do go into schools to volunteer, and parents and children usually attend open days before choosing a school.

I understand why parents are asked to stay outside during classes for some activities, but anybody selling a service should expect to be asked to show evidence of what that service is, whether that is references, open days, recitals or scheduled taster sessions for new pupils that parents can watch.

@merrymouse

That's a young age for kids to be left but I guess it's the same as school and nursery where we leave them in the care of others without observing.

Except schools are regularly inspected by Ofsted and many parents do go into schools to volunteer, and parents and children usually attend open days before choosing a school.

I understand why parents are asked to stay outside during classes for some activities, but anybody selling a service should expect to be asked to show evidence of what that service is, whether that is references, open days, recitals or scheduled taster sessions for new pupils that parents can watch.

Or @merrymouse the parent can vote with their feet. It seems there are institutions that allow a variety of options and they all seem to be in business even after Covid where restriction rules were tightened.

I think it works best where there is a viewing place, like above or away from the glass, maybe watching via glass.

In relation to safeguarding, the problem is there is a history of coaches and activity leaders abusing trust and using their position to abuse children, unfortunately. People seeking out roles working with children intentionally. And people running classes do need to recognise that side of things too. DBS just indicates that the coach or teacher hasn't a record, it isn't enough. Safeguarding works both ways. Watching just one time isn't enough from that perspective either.

@fleetwood I thought that some coaches wanted parents to step in! I found that dc whose parents were watching were defintely better behaved!

that was @Fleetw00d

I think at 4yo I'd find somewhere else so yanbu