To find it annoying when parents let their children watch tablets in coffee shops with the volume turned up?

[Zippyzoppy]

Sat in a coffee shop just wanting to have a quiet few minutes to myself. Opposite is a Dad with his circa 4 year old who is playing games on a tablet which I can hear and is really distracting and spoiling my enjoyment of my coffee. Dad is on his iPhone.

Am I a miserable cow for finding this irritating?!

I know exactly what you mean Batsy. That's why I objected to the 'lazy parenting' comments early on in this conversation too. I do think that Ochon is right though, and that only a small minority of people on here actually think like this. I really hope so anyway.

it might be a minority, but they certainly keep popping up with annoying regularity, and it can feel a bit 'whack a mole' sometimes

I completely agree with you, OP. That is completely anti-social.

I just have to keep reminding myself that MN is not reflective of the actual world we live in. Which is just such a good thing.

My dc are very independent and have been encouraged to entertain themselves at a young age, but in a restaurant or cafe that's one of the times you will need to make an effort (if the dc is too young for headphones and refuses to have the sound down) because no one wants the tinny sound of peppa pig to listen to or the annoying beeping from a game. Its consideration for others.

This. I really don't understand why people with NT/able-bodied children don't get this.

@movingadviceneeded - I just have to keep reminding myself that MN is not reflective of the actual world we live in. Which is just such a good thing.

I don't know about that. It's pretty common to encounter dicks playing music out loud, playing games with sound on, having loud phone conversations or allowing their children to do those things or letting their kids run riot with no supervision. Sure, they're a minority, but they're a significant enough minority that I'm not surprised when I encounter them.

Can't stand it just put headphones on. It drives my autistic son crazy too.

The volume should not be on as that is really inconsiderate. However, the suggestion (in some comments) that it is on because the parent/s do not want to interact is not fair. There’s a possibility they have been out chatting all day and this gives the parent some respite and chance to reset, along with the child. Equally, if the child is not neurotypical then there may be other reasons for the iPad. The volume should be off but technology does, sometimes, have its place.

@movingadviceneeded

I just have to keep reminding myself that MN is not reflective of the actual world we live in. Which is just such a good thing.

And yet here you are.

It's def out of order to have the sound up and no headphones but the pp saying tablets is poor parenting sounds like a self righteous prick! Get over yourself

Crappy parenting IMO.

[quote OchonAgusOchonOh]**@movingadviceneeded* - I just have to keep reminding myself that MN is not reflective of the actual world we live in. Which is just such a good thing.*

I don't know about that. It's pretty common to encounter dicks playing music out loud, playing games with sound on, having loud phone conversations or allowing their children to do those things or letting their kids run riot with no supervision. Sure, they're a minority, but they're a significant enough minority that I'm not surprised when I encounter them.[/quote]

I assumed she meant the way people speak to each other on here - the sheer rudeness at times. No one would interact like that in real life.

@WhatAShilohPitt

Crappy parenting IMO.

Such a helpful contribution to the discussion

Well we just came back from rhe pub . Child next to us playimg a very loud repatative game .. like a nursery rhyme over and over as she was only small and in a buggy. I could hardly hear dh and it felt selfish of the parents to me.
We went to.another pub . I got hit by a childs ball twice. They were running round . .
I worry that this is not teaching awareness of others .

@Tiddleandplonk Weird, you’d think a pub would be one of those age appropriate places that everyone keeps telling adults to go to if they don’t want to listen to electronic noise…

Everyone is expected to modify their behaviour in public places. Even ds who is teenage but is cognitively similar to a 1 year old. There are lots of things he can do at home but is stopped from doing in public or is removed if he doesn't stop. If he is expected to then so can you

Very good point. My dd has a similar functional age mentally, but is physically able to walk. You wouldn't know, at first glance, that there is anything different about her. Many times people have spoken to her and I have to answer for her - and explain that she can't talk.
We have to manage her behaviour so that it doesn't impinge on anyone else's comfort. As I've mentioned before, she hates being made to sit and conform in a cafe or restaurant situation. At the first sign of her being unhappy or distressed, I take her out. I wouldn't dream of keeping her there while I try to calm her. It's not fair to her, or anyone else around her. The reason she's having a wobble in the first place is because she doesn't want to be there, so I don't force her.

And people shouldn't be allowed to speak either. Might be awkward giving your order but maybe just point at what you want

It's been made clear by dozens of posters that it's electronic equipment noises that are annoying, disturbing, and distressing to a lot of people. Not the ordinary sound of people talking.

@Kaboomba

If you want peace and quiet do it in your own house not in a public place.

So much judgement on this thread! Maybe that dad just wanted a half to himself where he didn't need to deal with a screaming kid or entertaining them.

My child gets an iPad when he goes in to this kind of setting because it's his coping mechanism, he has autism and can't wear headphones due to sensory overload. Would you prefer I kept him home so you weren't disturb with a little iPad noise?

Actually yes.

Mother of a ds with a degenerative condition and autism here.

I do not take my ds out to disturb others enjoyment of a place just so I can have half hours peace.

I'm not that selfish.

I will not hide ds and haven't done but I've never felt his needs trump others due to having a disability.

It's hard enough to fight for true inclusion and equality.

[quote Willwebebuyingnumber11]@saoirse31 if you have any other tips for my non-verbal disabled child who dislikes lots of different noises at once and cannot engage due to his disability, I would love to hear them.[/quote]
Well I'm assuming you wouldn't be taking your child who hates a cafe sort of environment to a cafe?

I wouldn't take my autistic ds somewhere that he couldn't cope with. I'm not cruel.

@itsgettingwierd I’ll just never let him leave the house shall I to make your life easier? He doesn’t sit in cafes with me but I’m not ashamed of him and I take him out. Shock horror.