To find it annoying when parents let their children watch tablets in coffee shops with the volume turned up?

[Zippyzoppy]

Sat in a coffee shop just wanting to have a quiet few minutes to myself. Opposite is a Dad with his circa 4 year old who is playing games on a tablet which I can hear and is really distracting and spoiling my enjoyment of my coffee. Dad is on his iPhone.

Am I a miserable cow for finding this irritating?!

Children under 3 can’t wear headphones. Imo music is better than screaming. I agree older kids should be wearing headphones though.

YANBU. I'm really really hoping this isn't one of those things I have to eat my words on as my kids grow.

I agree it is lazy parenting and it is no wonder 90% of kids start school with poor language and communication skills. It is a time to engage with kids, talk to them and teach them how to converse, learn new words, ask questions about the world around them, talk to new people, learn to order their own food etc and how to behave in a setting like that. It is only what people should be doing at the table at home so it tells me the kids are used to eating with an ipad in front of them at home and those parents don't converse with their kids.

Why do children under 3 need iPads and iPhones? 🙄

@Spanielstail

Children don't need iPads in cafes. Children need to be able to sit quietly and calmly and if they sit at a table to eat at home they can manage it in a coffee shop. It's lazy parenting to shove a child on a tablet to keep them quiet rather than interacting with the child.

It's so incredibly poor social etiquette to disturb someone else with the noise of the game.

This!

If you plan to give your kids your phone, get child friendly headphones. My toddlers haven’t ever screamed in a cafe but we would leave immediately if they did and couldn’t be distracted with books or toys, it isn’t fair on other people.

No you are not remotely unreasonable.

I don't have an issue with parents letting their kids watch things on tablets but please get them to wear headphones.

Someone always pops up and says their kids have sensory issues and can't wear headphones. In those (rare) cases please keep volume down, or even better, get them to do colouring or read a book or something else quiet which does not have a negative effect on other people.

I don't let mine have there's in cafe or restaurants. And I agree the volume shouldn't be impacting others. But it's a snap shot of their day fgs

Happened to me on a flight the other day. Child was old enough to wear a face mask nicely for the duration so why the fuck not headphones?

I've been a teacher over a decade. If you've got a Sen baby like I have (mild cerebral palsy, with all the extras) no amount of brilliant parenting will make my child sit like Princess Charlotte.
So what do I? Not go out in public? Is that a good message to send my disabled kid. Not saying this kid definitely has a disability but my own child's is not immediately spottable from his movement, but his behaviour would be deemed naughty. I know for a fact choosing an iPad would make it easier for those around me, but choose not to because of what's good for my baby. For others the iPad might be the preferable tool.

It's lazy parenting to shove a child on a tablet to keep them quiet rather than interacting with the child

Am I a lazy parent if I let my child colour in or read a book at the table? If so, why is it different?

YANBU prize of the year goes to the cunts (pre covid) having a full on video conference in our local farm shop cafe about their twatty company's network and IT issues - two of them shouting at the tablet and the twat at the other end shouting back. Twats.

I'd rather the tablet than a meltdown tbh. Littles aren't good with headphones. But agree, the volumne doesn't need to be high.

Very poor parenting, they should be engaging with their child. By the way it's not the child on the tablet because occasionally especially with sn they are a lifesaver, it's the dad who's more interested in the cricket scores or whatever (stereotyping) than their kid and hasn't turned the volume down

I find it shocking that anyone thinks this is acceptable! It is a pet hate of mine, a woman on the train the other day was watching youtube videos on her phone at full volume.
Children will never get used to sitting at the table if you just stick a phone in front of them. I have a 13-year-old dc with autism and learning difficulties and we have maintained a no phones at the table rule........It takes more effort to engage children in conversation and games like I spy/colouring but it can be done.
We have been in restaurants recently when Peppa pig has been playing loudly nearby and dccan't cope with the nosie at all!!!

Yes.

Or on a public transport. Shut it up or put some earphones in it

@drpet49

Spoiling your enjoyment of your coffee? Is the coffee shop deadly silent or something?

Deadly silent or general humdrum of conversation, an annoying game on a ipad is most definitely going to make me bloody irritated and spoil a nice coffee out yes. Annoying ipad games are very different to general life chitter chatter and noise, why is this difficult to comprehend?

@igelkott2021

It's lazy parenting to shove a child on a tablet to keep them quiet rather than interacting with the child

Am I a lazy parent if I let my child colour in or read a book at the table? If so, why is it different?

Because colouring or reading isn't a noisy like an iPad!

I honestly find it incredible that people think this is acceptable!

@SheABitSpicyToday

I hate people who judge. You don’t know if that I aren’t is trying to avoid an autistic meltdown or whatever.

My daughter had her tablet yesterday in a cafe as we were waiting for my husbands eye surgery to finish but it over ran. We ended up sat in there for 3 hours.

Not in the slightest bit judgy, an observation of rude people. Having a game on loud or shouting into a speaker phone is rude, obnoxious and inconsiderate. Nothing judgy about noticing someone else being obnoxious.

Yabu.

Flight to Tenerife behind an adult watching Line of Duty of her iPad. Very, very irritating

The type of people who do this are selfish and defensive and are unlikely to be reasonable

Shove headphones on - the noise from electronic devices goes beyond general background coffee shop or cafe noise

@Spanielstail

Children don't need iPads in cafes. Children need to be able to sit quietly and calmly and if they sit at a table to eat at home they can manage it in a coffee shop. It's lazy parenting to shove a child on a tablet to keep them quiet rather than interacting with the child.

It's so incredibly poor social etiquette to disturb someone else with the noise of the game.

Yes, but if the child was terrorising the coffee shop with its wailing, screeching and whatever descriptions people only ever use on MN for children who dare to make some form of noise, then the OP would probably be complaing as well.

If a child is screaming or running around, then you need to take them out

I'm not going to enjoy peppa pig at the next table simply because the alternative is screaming

Hate it. Even worse is adults having conversations on speaker phone. So rude and unnecessary. Why the hell do I need to hear their conversation?

This thread is literally showing why parents can't win.

Use an ipad? Oh no, children should be engaging with their parents.

Don't use an ipad? Oh no, children can't be shouting or screaming. They need something to keep them occupied.

If you are out in a public place you have to expect that other people are going to be there and potentially making noise. If it's not a phone it's going to be something else.

Obviously there are certain situations where things are expected e.g. headphones on public transport, not using phones etc in cinemas but in general you can't expect strict adherence to some nonsense moral code that you've invented.