To find it annoying when parents let their children watch tablets in coffee shops with the volume turned up?

[Zippyzoppy]

Sat in a coffee shop just wanting to have a quiet few minutes to myself. Opposite is a Dad with his circa 4 year old who is playing games on a tablet which I can hear and is really distracting and spoiling my enjoyment of my coffee. Dad is on his iPhone.

Am I a miserable cow for finding this irritating?!

"With the exception of those who are very sensitive to noise due to autism for example, is hearing a bit of Peppa Pig in a cafe really enough to "ruin" the experience for you?"

People with disabilities matter too. If you want Peppa Pig on, turn the sound off. It doesn't need the sound on. Ds has watched it without sound for 14 years.

@saoirse31

Really pathetic parenting, throw a screen at your child so you don't have to engage with them and they won't try and engage with you. Sad really when you look at the number of people doing this, and hardly great for the child's development. And yes I know it's only a snapshot of people's parenting but depressingly I think frequently it's a realistic view of how many people live their lives.

So you recognise that you're seeing just a snapshot of someone's parenting, yet at the same time you're assuming this is how they live their lives? Interesting contradiction.

@Underhisi

Where did I say people with disabilities did not matter? I'm not sure why you felt the need to point that out to me. I was asking, with the exception of those with extreme sensitivity to noise for example due to autism, is this really enough to "ruin" a cafe outing?

@feelingmehtoday

Your child shouldn’t ruin things for everyone else.

I love a bit of hyperbole. Yes, I can just imagine it now. Sitting in a cafe, overhearing the tune of Peppe Pig whilst sipping my latte in Costa, and thinking "right that's it, fuck this I'm off!! My day is officially ruined". And everyone else in the cafe thinking and doing the same. Yep. Sounds plausible ...

Haha agreed! Also loving the idea that everyone else in cafes sits in silence or quietly whispers to their friend. Meanwhile the baristas tiptoe around, ensuring cutlery doesn’t clink, and the coffee machine is regularly told to pipe down ….

It is ruining it for those people. It is about thinking of who else may be in there and thinking "I don't need to do that". Some thing that I have to consider all the time permanently with a severely disabled teenager including because some of the behaviours (like spitting or persistent screeching ) people don't want to see or hear.

When you go out in public, other people including kids make noise. If you don't like it - why not stay at home or find a child free venue so you get the ambience you're after?
Nobody is saying they don't expect children to make a noise.
There's several posts saying surely you'd prefer IPad noise to screaming.
I'd prefer the screaming.
In general when a child kicks off the parent does something about it and noise goes back to normal levels or the family soon leave/take the child outside. I've been there many times with my own Children.
With the tablet you either have to listen to it the whole time or you get the screaming and then the tablet noise.

I can't go to a childfree place or put headphones in because I've got my own children. For some reason it's always assumed people who don't like the noise don't have children. My children get annoyed by the noise of a tablet too. I won't stay at home either 'after the shitty year we've all had'.

But when the shit hits the fan and I don't know, her chips are the wrong shape or something, it means you can carry on eating in peace, rather than your brain rattle with her crying. I really resent the implication that if you give a child a screen you're a disengaged parent.
It means you can carry on eating in peace. This is the best outcome for you don't pretend it's for the greater good. You don't have to deal with screaming, or leave your food, or go hone early. Everyone else just has to put up with Peppa Pig whether they want to or not.
I don't for one minute think your disengaged or a bad parent. I understand why phones are used as distractions although it's not something I do myself. I understand it hard dealing with tantrums when you feel like everyone's eyes are on you. I've got 4 children. I've been the Mum hastily exiting with a screeching toddler under one arm and a crying baby in the pram, asking if I can have our food wrapped up to take away. We had a lot of take aways and picnics at that stage. It can be a bit shit and I sympathise. I do think if you don't turn the cartoons to silent or use headphones in a busy cafe or restaurant you're being selfish.

@Holly60

Exactly! The irony is ... it's other people going about their day, talking laughing etc, at the nearby tables that often wakes my baby in the first place, causing her to start stirring / crying. It's almost as though the rest of world sits in blissful silence in Costa whilst Peppa Pig blares out at full volume

@feelingmehtoday

With the exception of those who are very sensitive to noise due to autism for example, is hearing a bit of Peppa Pig in a cafe really enough to "ruin" the experience for you? I can't imagine living my life like this, honestly. It sounds truly exhausting.

I remember when DS was younger and his obsession was peppa pig. I had to live and breathe that bloody pig for years. So if I managed to get a rare trip out without him then yes having that ruined it for me

@Sirzy

I agree that Peppa Pig can be irritating, I have a 2 year old nephew. But ... it wouldn't "ruin" my experience in a cafe, it really wouldn't. Perhaps my tolerance for others is greater than most. Or perhaps I have an ability to tune things out when I'm out and about in my own headspace? Who knows. But I just can't imagine this being enough to "ruin" something for me. Like I said that does sound an exhausting way to live.

No one has said children should be quiet, the sound of children talking, laughing etc is very different to noise/music from an iPad. Fine if it’s a child with SEN.

YANBU, they should have headphones.

Lazy parenting.Again.

I go to cafes quite often with my 2.5 year old, sometimes he will watch something on my phone. In all of the years I've been going to cafes and restaurant, I've never heard anyone "blasting" anything.

Those of you who are put out by kids making noise, remember you were kids once, and probably a noisy little prick too, at times. The only reason our mums didn't have the same problem was that they didn't have the same tech. So that's a ridiculous argument - "I didn't need a screen when I was a kid".

Lighten the fuck up and remember that having small kids can be bloody hard - it doesn't and shouldn't mean that you have to sacrifice doing normal things like going for a coffee, and if you think people should sacrifice that then you're not a very nice person, frankly.

@movingadviceneeded

I go to cafes quite often with my 2.5 year old, sometimes he will watch something on my phone. In all of the years I've been going to cafes and restaurant, I've never heard anyone "blasting" anything.

Those of you who are put out by kids making noise, remember you were kids once, and probably a noisy little prick too, at times. The only reason our mums didn't have the same problem was that they didn't have the same tech. So that's a ridiculous argument - "I didn't need a screen when I was a kid".

Lighten the fuck up and remember that having small kids can be bloody hard - it doesn't and shouldn't mean that you have to sacrifice doing normal things like going for a coffee, and if you think people should sacrifice that then you're not a very nice person, frankly.

👏🏻 Well said.

Meanwhile the baristas tiptoe around, ensuring cutlery doesn’t clink, and the coffee machine is regularly told to pipe down ….

😂

Nobody has denied having small kids is hard. That isn’t a justification for allowing them to make excess noise, or using things like tablets with the volume up.

When you are out in public you have to show consideration for everyone not just yourself.

@Spanielstail

Children don't need iPads in cafes. Children need to be able to sit quietly and calmly and if they sit at a table to eat at home they can manage it in a coffee shop. It's lazy parenting to shove a child on a tablet to keep them quiet rather than interacting with the child.

It's so incredibly poor social etiquette to disturb someone else with the noise of the game.

1000000% this!!!

Yes because all small kids sit nicely at the table with a knife and fork, thanking their mummy for the delicious quinoa and alfalfa sprout salad that mummy slaved over for them.

I guess mines the only kid in the world who throws his chicken nuggets and beans on the floor then.

I think some people here are quite deliberately getting mixed up between expecting parents to show a little bit of social decorum and ensuring that disruption to others is kept to a minimum and people expecting children to be little angels.

Most people aren’t in the slightest bit bothered as long as they can see parents are making an effort! They certainly don’t expect children to be silent anymore than they expect others to be

I go to cafes quite often with my 2.5 year old, sometimes he will watch something on my phone. In all of the years I've been going to cafes and restaurant, I've never heard anyone "blasting" anything.
Neither have I. I have heard repetitive noise or annoying music, from children and adults.

Those of you who are put out by kids making noise, remember you were kids once, and probably a noisy little prick too, at times. The only reason our mums didn't have the same problem was that they didn't have the same tech. So that's a ridiculous argument - "I didn't need a screen when I was a kid".
I didn't use a screen in public, I had a Gameboy at home. My Children don't use screens in public either, they have tablets at home.
I don't think anybody is against child noise apart from the parents who'd rather their child used a tablet than made a noise.

Lighten the fuck up and remember that having small kids can be bloody hard - it doesn't and shouldn't mean that you have to sacrifice doing normal things like going for a coffee, and if you think people should sacrifice that then you're not a very nice person, frankly.
Everybody should be able to enjoy a coffee your right. Not just the child who is watching Peppa pig. It's so easily remedied with the mute button

@movingadviceneeded

Yes because all small kids sit nicely at the table with a knife and fork, thanking their mummy for the delicious quinoa and alfalfa sprout salad that mummy slaved over for them.

I guess mines the only kid in the world who throws his chicken nuggets and beans on the floor then.

Nope. I remember my now teen doing this, I've recently witnessed my nephew doing this... and I fully expect my baby (when weaned) to also do this. Like I said before ... MN versus the real world. It's fascinating.

It's lazy parenting to shove a child on a tablet to keep them quiet rather than interacting with the child.

Really don't get this.

If two adults go out for coffee why should the child be interacted with for that hour? When they have another 11 hours to interact with the parent?

I believe this is what makes children spoilt thinking they get every waking minute of a parents life. Kids should understand that sometimes there are adult moments and they should be quiet for these.

@enoughforme

It's lazy parenting to shove a child on a tablet to keep them quiet rather than interacting with the child.

Really don't get this.

If two adults go out for coffee why should the child be interacted with for that hour? When they have another 11 hours to interact with the parent?

I believe this is what makes children spoilt thinking they get every waking minute of a parents life. Kids should understand that sometimes there are adult moments and they should be quiet for these.

Another MN versus real life dichotomy.

Absolutely no one who has experience of parenting a young child can honestly, truly believe that constant interaction with your child is the only acceptable way to parent. Not only is is impractical, it's also I would argue potentially overstimulating and overwhelming for both parent and child. Not to mention completely unnecessary. There's a healthy middle ground between constant interaction and "lazy parenting" where you stick a child in front of a screen 24/7. Unfortunately some posters aren't able or willing to grasp this.

@feelingmehtoday absolutely this ⬆️.

@Sirzy

I think some people here are quite deliberately getting mixed up between expecting parents to show a little bit of social decorum and ensuring that disruption to others is kept to a minimum and people expecting children to be little angels.

Most people aren’t in the slightest bit bothered as long as they can see parents are making an effort! They certainly don’t expect children to be silent anymore than they expect others to be

Exactly.