To find it annoying when parents let their children watch tablets in coffee shops with the volume turned up?

[Zippyzoppy]

Sat in a coffee shop just wanting to have a quiet few minutes to myself. Opposite is a Dad with his circa 4 year old who is playing games on a tablet which I can hear and is really distracting and spoiling my enjoyment of my coffee. Dad is on his iPhone.

Am I a miserable cow for finding this irritating?!

@UrAWizHarry

Yes, it's annoying, but if you are in public you can't expect everyone to behave according to your exact requirements so... meh. Whatchagonna do?

Sit either side of the anti-social brat and have a long gynaecological conversation?

If adults do this, I sometimes retaliate by playing something myself - the Archers theme tune (which I hate) is a favourite. Every single time, the twat who has been blasting their phone at me looks round in outrage. Because - just like the posters on this thread defending twattish behaviour- they don't really believe in live and let live. What they really believe is that everyone else should follow the normal social rules, just not them.

I think it is reasonable to expect a certain amount of noise in cafes and restaurants, and I don’t expect children to sit in silence - and if a tablet or phone entertains a child, then using it is OK - but anyone watching something on a phone or tablet (or letting their child watch something) with the volume at a level where it is audible over the normal background noise, is acting anti-socially.

That said, having had three children, I do try to give the parents of young children the benefit of the doubt. If someone is having a nightmare with their child in a cafe, I would rather not make their day worse. I am lucky that I have never been in a cafe or restaurant where there was a child or children running amok, screaming, jostling me or other people or the staff.

The worst behaviour I have seen in a cafe was a little boy who furkled in his nappy, and brought out a fingerful of poo - right out me off my pancakes! But it was ds1, who was only 18 months old, so dh whisked him out of the cafe for a nappy change whilst I paid our bill. I don’t think anyone else noticed, thankfully.

And ds1 is 28 this year and getting married next year - and behaves impeccably in restaurants!

@Kaboomba

If you want peace and quiet do it in your own house not in a public place.

So much judgement on this thread! Maybe that dad just wanted a half to himself where he didn't need to deal with a screaming kid or entertaining them.

My child gets an iPad when he goes in to this kind of setting because it's his coping mechanism, he has autism and can't wear headphones due to sensory overload. Would you prefer I kept him home so you weren't disturb with a little iPad noise?

Frankly, yes I would

Because that noise would trigger my DD who can't deal with the sensory overload tipped over by bloody electronic noises

Your child doesn't trump mine

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow
But you can read at home!

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

I think it is reasonable to expect a certain amount of noise in cafes and restaurants, and I don’t expect children to sit in silence - and if a tablet or phone entertains a child, then using it is OK - but anyone watching something on a phone or tablet (or letting their child watch something) with the volume at a level where it is audible over the normal background noise, is acting anti-socially.

That said, having had three children, I do try to give the parents of young children the benefit of the doubt. If someone is having a nightmare with their child in a cafe, I would rather not make their day worse. I am lucky that I have never been in a cafe or restaurant where there was a child or children running amok, screaming, jostling me or other people or the staff.

The worst behaviour I have seen in a cafe was a little boy who furkled in his nappy, and brought out a fingerful of poo - right out me off my pancakes! But it was ds1, who was only 18 months old, so dh whisked him out of the cafe for a nappy change whilst I paid our bill. I don’t think anyone else noticed, thankfully.

And ds1 is 28 this year and getting married next year - and behaves impeccably in restaurants!

This. Which I and several others have also articulated. It seems to get lost though. Very sad. 😞

Pretty disheartened by the unpleasantness and judginess on this thread. My wee one is nearly two and if we're out and she loses the plot I try all the tricks up my sleeve but my latest resort is - gasp! - peppa on my phone. Because d'you know why? The amount of tuts and side eye you get when your toddler cries in a cafe or restaurant is something else. And I try my best to be considerate, I know nobody wants to pay for a meal and listen to a meltdown. She won't tolerate headphones, a headband lasts about 3 seconds before it's launched. I won't be staying at home, not after the shitty year we've all had, because you don't want to hear a cartoon on low volume. It's like people who want the gentle birdsong that comes with living in a woodland glade but buy a terraced house . When you go out in public, other people including kids make noise. If you don't like it - why not stay at home or find a child free venue so you get the ambience you're after?

And I should teach my child the art of conversation at the table? Hahaha. I mean of course. Lots of engagement here. But when the shit hits the fan and I don't know, her chips are the wrong shape or something, it means you can carry on eating in peace, rather than your brain rattle with her crying. I really resent the implication that if you give a child a screen you're a disengaged parent.

Seems a lot of people agree with the 'I think you're a arsehole' comment. I'm not. I'm a good mum trying her best .

@Zippyzoppy I've not rtft but yanbu
My ds has ASD and a phone / tablet is essential for trips to restaurants for everyone safety.
I can control the volume.
The dad was being a lazy parent

@IrnBruAndTwiglets

Pretty disheartened by the unpleasantness and judginess on this thread. My wee one is nearly two and if we're out and she loses the plot I try all the tricks up my sleeve but my latest resort is - gasp! - peppa on my phone. Because d'you know why? The amount of tuts and side eye you get when your toddler cries in a cafe or restaurant is something else. And I try my best to be considerate, I know nobody wants to pay for a meal and listen to a meltdown. She won't tolerate headphones, a headband lasts about 3 seconds before it's launched. I won't be staying at home, not after the shitty year we've all had, because you don't want to hear a cartoon on low volume. It's like people who want the gentle birdsong that comes with living in a woodland glade but buy a terraced house . When you go out in public, other people including kids make noise. If you don't like it - why not stay at home or find a child free venue so you get the ambience you're after?

And I should teach my child the art of conversation at the table? Hahaha. I mean of course. Lots of engagement here. But when the shit hits the fan and I don't know, her chips are the wrong shape or something, it means you can carry on eating in peace, rather than your brain rattle with her crying. I really resent the implication that if you give a child a screen you're a disengaged parent.

Seems a lot of people agree with the 'I think you're a arsehole' comment. I'm not. I'm a good mum trying her best .

I hear you.

@CandyLeBonBon

I think we can all take from this thread that we probably ALL need to be a bit more tolerant and less quick to judge

I agree!

@Zippyzoppy

Dare I mention the fact that the kid also had his feet on the furniture too or should I start a new thread on that one? 😂

Please don't.

"I won't be staying at home, not after the shitty year we've all had"

But you go on to say others should stay home ( permanently) because your baby needs to watch Peppa Pig.

@movingadviceneeded

Christ. Some right wankers on here.

😂

@Macncheeseballs

Instead of 'a little less judgement of props', how about a litte more consideration of others, why should just one kid watching Peppa pig affect several trying to relax

Or... how about a nice little meet in the middle in compromise... where parents are as considerate as they possibly can be given their circumstances, whilst members of the public try to be less judgemental of a parent doing their best?

@IrnBruAndTwiglets

Pretty disheartened by the unpleasantness and judginess on this thread. My wee one is nearly two and if we're out and she loses the plot I try all the tricks up my sleeve but my latest resort is - gasp! - peppa on my phone. Because d'you know why? The amount of tuts and side eye you get when your toddler cries in a cafe or restaurant is something else. And I try my best to be considerate, I know nobody wants to pay for a meal and listen to a meltdown. She won't tolerate headphones, a headband lasts about 3 seconds before it's launched. I won't be staying at home, not after the shitty year we've all had, because you don't want to hear a cartoon on low volume. It's like people who want the gentle birdsong that comes with living in a woodland glade but buy a terraced house . When you go out in public, other people including kids make noise. If you don't like it - why not stay at home or find a child free venue so you get the ambience you're after?

And I should teach my child the art of conversation at the table? Hahaha. I mean of course. Lots of engagement here. But when the shit hits the fan and I don't know, her chips are the wrong shape or something, it means you can carry on eating in peace, rather than your brain rattle with her crying. I really resent the implication that if you give a child a screen you're a disengaged parent.

Seems a lot of people agree with the 'I think you're a arsehole' comment. I'm not. I'm a good mum trying her best .

No one said stay at home, take her to age appropriate places. She’s clearly not ready for restaurants if you beed Peppa on the phone. And I doubt it’s quiet.

Your child shouldn’t ruin things for everyone else.

And I should teach my child the art of conversation at the table? Hahaha. I mean of course. Lots of engagement here. But when the shit hits the fan and I don't know, her chips are the wrong shape or something, it means you can carry on eating in peace, rather than your brain rattle with her crying. I really resent the implication that if you give a child a screen you're a disengaged parent.

chips are the wrong shape. Love it. I've got all this to come in a couple of years.

I think you’d be more annoyed by the alternative. Have you met children?

Your child shouldn’t ruin things for everyone else.

I love a bit of hyperbole. Yes, I can just imagine it now. Sitting in a cafe, overhearing the tune of Peppe Pig whilst sipping my latte in Costa, and thinking "right that's it, fuck this I'm off!! My day is officially ruined". And everyone else in the cafe thinking and doing the same. Yep. Sounds plausible ...

With the exception of those who are very sensitive to noise due to autism for example, is hearing a bit of Peppa Pig in a cafe really enough to "ruin" the experience for you? I can't imagine living my life like this, honestly. It sounds truly exhausting.

@feelingmehtoday

Your child shouldn’t ruin things for everyone else.

I love a bit of hyperbole. Yes, I can just imagine it now. Sitting in a cafe, overhearing the tune of Peppe Pig whilst sipping my latte in Costa, and thinking "right that's it, fuck this I'm off!! My day is officially ruined". And everyone else in the cafe thinking and doing the same. Yep. Sounds plausible ...

I didn’t say day, but yes, blaring iPads are annoying as fuck.

Almost as annoying as adults in cafes and public transport with phones, tablets and laptops with the volume turned up.

Really pathetic parenting, throw a screen at your child so you don't have to engage with them and they won't try and engage with you. Sad really when you look at the number of people doing this, and hardly great for the child's development. And yes I know it's only a snapshot of people's parenting but depressingly I think frequently it's a realistic view of how many people live their lives.

@ThinWomansBrain

Almost as annoying as adults in cafes and public transport with phones, tablets and laptops with the volume turned up.

Just as annoying and I tell those people go turn it off.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow retaliation by archers is a brilliant idea

@saoirse31 if you have any other tips for my non-verbal disabled child who dislikes lots of different noises at once and cannot engage due to his disability, I would love to hear them.