To find it annoying when parents let their children watch tablets in coffee shops with the volume turned up?

[Zippyzoppy]

Sat in a coffee shop just wanting to have a quiet few minutes to myself. Opposite is a Dad with his circa 4 year old who is playing games on a tablet which I can hear and is really distracting and spoiling my enjoyment of my coffee. Dad is on his iPhone.

Am I a miserable cow for finding this irritating?!

Haha. Love threads like this. Really shows the people that are ignorant and expect people to listen to crap they don't want to listen to..... drives me nuts too this sort of thing.

Perhaps those who are getting irritated at parents trying to deal with less than ideal situations on long journeys could invest in some noise cancelling headphones themselves and put them in with their 2 free hands.

I would assuming I'm not with my own bored kids who are also fed up with your kids tablet. Just turn the volume off.

Anyone who is defending it on here is so obviously guilty of it and don't give a fuck about others. I endured 4 hours of Peppa Fucking Pig behind me on a plane. Rude, inconsiderate and easily solved with headphones.

I feel your pain. I went to the hairdressers where a tiny sprog listened to Bing Sodding Bunny at full volume for over 30 minutes. It was ricocheting off the walls.

The DF was proudly grinning around, apparently entirely oblivious to the seething resentment round him or the fact that rest of us wanted to wrestle the iPad down his thick entitled throat.

There was a cheer when they finally left.

@youdoyoutoday my son doesn't have autism. He has cerebral palsy.
Which I mentioned because I am sick of people judging me because they think it's bad behaviour that leads to screaming and not being able.to sit and colour in.
And instead of trying to understand the reality of parents like me, with children with high level needs, I've had someone derailing by trying to minimise my son's condition, telling me I should not use the word disabled. A word that is used by the charity SCOPE, set up to help parents like me.
The reason autism is brought up is because it's largely an invisible condition. So you can't tell who is rude anf who has a child with a condition.
People have said we should keep our children's at home until they behave themselves. That kind of thoughtless comment is really hurtful to someone who may never get to that situation.

It's just asking for a little less judgement and a little more empathy.

I use one for out and about to keep them occupied, on low volume. Unless anyone would prefer them getting bored and getting up to wander about?
I forgot on Mumsnet children are to be seen and not heard, and expected to behave impeccably 24 hours of the day.
However in the real world, they don't.
If I let them walk about I'd be in the wrong.
If I give them a distraction, wrong.
If I try to tell them off for not being perfectly still, and they get upset, it's too much noise and id again be in the wrong. (Wouldn't do that anyway, I don't expect silent stillness from small children).
It's not lazy parenting, it's desperately trying to appease everyone around you because someone will always moan no matter what. You cannot win as a parent in public.

I have just spent an 8 hour flight listening to shitty toddler TV because someone was using a tablet with no headphones.

Bloody annoying but I took the view that it was better than 8 hours of a toddler crying or shouting.

In a cafe or restaurant etc it is pretty much inexcusable really.

I use one for out and about to keep them occupied, on low volume. Unless anyone would prefer them getting bored and getting up to wander about?

How on earth did parents cope before tablets and phones?

@stellaisabella

I use one for out and about to keep them occupied, on low volume. Unless anyone would prefer them getting bored and getting up to wander about? I forgot on Mumsnet children are to be seen and not heard, and expected to behave impeccably 24 hours of the day. However in the real world, they don't. If I let them walk about I'd be in the wrong. If I give them a distraction, wrong. If I try to tell them off for not being perfectly still, and they get upset, it's too much noise and id again be in the wrong. (Wouldn't do that anyway, I don't expect silent stillness from small children). It's not lazy parenting, it's desperately trying to appease everyone around you because someone will always moan no matter what. You cannot win as a parent in public.

Yep.

How on earth did parents cope before tablets and phones?

Well, it's swings and roudabouts, isn't it? Yes, pre-devices parents couldn't zombify their little darlings with Bing and Peppa but neither did they have to deal with the problems of constant social media or cyber-bullying for teens and pre-teens. If you're going to have to deal with the downsides, you may as well reap the benefits .

@SoupDragon

I use one for out and about to keep them occupied, on low volume. Unless anyone would prefer them getting bored and getting up to wander about?

How on earth did parents cope before tablets and phones?

I had this conversation with my children on holiday actually. I said we had created a whole generation of people who couldn't just wait or sit and occupy themselves without "stuff". It started with the introduction of kids activity books or taking colouring books (like I did when mine were small) and has ended up with a whole table of iPads.

When I was small, we occupied ourselves and I'm still able to just sit and watch the world go by now. My children couldn't do that at all and this is because they've always been kept entertained. 2 are adults now and obviously age has helped but "just sitting" is still not an option.

I use one for out and about to keep them occupied, on low volume. Unless anyone would prefer them getting bored and getting up to wander about?
Those are not the only options though.
My older two were born before tablets, we didn't lug a TV round with us to occupy them or just watch them as they ran around.
There are other options and if you really can't think of any then at least turn the volume off.

you may as well reap the benefits

Hell yes. I remember the sheer joy of getting an iPad when DD was about 4 and she watched the Cat in the Hat film on repeat during a flight. With headphones on.

[quote TheSlayer]@youdoyoutoday my son doesn't have autism. He has cerebral palsy.
Which I mentioned because I am sick of people judging me because they think it's bad behaviour that leads to screaming and not being able.to sit and colour in.
And instead of trying to understand the reality of parents like me, with children with high level needs, I've had someone derailing by trying to minimise my son's condition, telling me I should not use the word disabled. A word that is used by the charity SCOPE, set up to help parents like me.
The reason autism is brought up is because it's largely an invisible condition. So you can't tell who is rude anf who has a child with a condition.
People have said we should keep our children's at home until they behave themselves. That kind of thoughtless comment is really hurtful to someone who may never get to that situation.

It's just asking for a little less judgement and a little more empathy.[/quote]
I did not try to minimise your child's issue or say you shouldn't use the word disabled and I've repeated them many times.

You are so angry that you are not seeing things clearly.

I forgot on Mumsnet children are to be seen and not heard, and expected to behave impeccably 24 hours of the day.

No, not at all. But most people expect that if DC mess about because they're bored, the DC's parents do something about it : talk to their children, read to them, ask the questions, take them for a walk.

Not just shove a tablet with a film/game on it at volume that others nearby can hear.

Urgh I hate this! DH and I booked a beautiful expensive restaurant on holiday , it is quite difficult to get a table and even more difficult to get one on the terrace overlooking the beach. Our reservation was for 8.30pm , there are only 6 tables kn the terrace, the one next to us was occupied by a woman with two children playing movies on their iPads no headphones. It was horrid, such a treat ruined , after 20 mins I asked the waiting staff to ask them to turn it off. They did not speak English and I did not speak their language so could not ask myself. The restaurant manager politely asked them to turn it off, I assume polite as I did not understand but it sounded polite they did and then turned it back on as soon as he had gone. It was so rude of the mother not a care girl anyone else . Then Dad appeared wrapped in a blanket, shivering, coughing and clearly unwell. He sat at the table coughing and moaning I was who goes to a restaurant that when that ill! It ruined our meal and everyone else’s.

@Tomselleckhaskindeyes

i hate seeing people on tablets full stop. The saddest sight i saw whole a family out for dinner all the children on Tablets with ear phones. This where you reach them social skills, to be able to converse and debate and to learn manners. How can they do that on their tablet.

Presumably when the meals came out the devices went away.

my child has additional needs (disabled-horrible word)
That's what you said. I've sent you scope website so you can start your letter writing campaign against a word that you don't like that's useful for people who actually need it.

@TheSlayer

And you seem to forget I am a parent like you. Both my children have life long conditions.

That doesn't mean I have to think the same way as you or use the language you prefer.

It always seems to be peppa pig too!

I have no issue with ds using an iPad when out, infact due to his autism it would be close on impossible for him to go out without it at times BUT I have always insisted on either very low volume (as in I can hardly hear it next to him) or headphones. That isn’t negotiable

@SoupDragon

I use one for out and about to keep them occupied, on low volume. Unless anyone would prefer them getting bored and getting up to wander about?

How on earth did parents cope before tablets and phones?

By using colouring or anything else possible, and still ended up being moaned at by another table, who were desperately sad their food was inedible due to hearing children nearby. At least I imagine that's what it was like! Because again, no matter what someone will always whine.

YANBU. My 2 were little pre tablet. They used to draw mostly or so the activities in kids magazines. If they were agitated we went for a little walk.
I have friends who let their kids to do, if I'm out with them I ask them to turn it down, if they don't I confiscate the device.

I'm guessing they don't have cerebral palsy. If they did you would have been told they had a disability. You'd have been sent to sites that use 'parents of disabled children'.
So disabled isn't the right word for you. It doesn't mean you get to call it a horribke word without people picking you up on it.

If you still think that contact scope and the NHS. Get it changed. But you'll need to put in another word to cover my challenges as they are not covered by additional needs.

@Clymene I have a niece who has autism she will not tolerate a hat of any sort, hair bands, having a her hair tied up, a clip to pin it back etc, oh and head phones!!...just saying. Suppose my Dsis should just lock her up then and not bother taking her anywhere.

@TheSlayer

my child has additional needs (disabled-horrible word) That's what you said. I've sent you scope website so you can start your letter writing campaign against a word that you don't like that's useful for people who actually need it.

How many times do I have to say I don't like the word but you use the language you want to? Want to quote all those posts I made saying that? I guess not.....

Must be exhausting for you being angry all the time.