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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a baby at 36

202 replies

Hg176 · 27/07/2021 20:13

In a stable, loving relationship and want to have a baby. Just turned 36 in July. This wasn’t really on the cards before as I’ve been so career focused.

I’m worried I’ve left it too late and everything around ‘geriatric’ pregnancy is scaring the life out of me! AIBU?

OP posts:
pollylocketpickedapocket · 27/07/2021 20:57

@Twattergy

Every other mum I know (myself included) was 36 or more when they had their baby...what exactly is it about geriatric pregnancy that scares you so much?
36 isn’t geriatric pregnancy these days. That’s over 40(I think?!) My mum was geriatric pregnancy at 26 in 1979 I had my daughter at 36 in 2016 and literally not a single hcp mentioned my age.
Tamtam86 · 27/07/2021 21:00

Definitely not too old! I'm 35 and have 2 children bit definitely haven't ruled out having a 3rd!

Ellegirl · 27/07/2021 21:01

Currently expecting my first at 37. Go for it!

Tenbob · 27/07/2021 21:02

I had my first at 36 and was at the younger end of the scale in my NCT group

Far from being treated as geriatric by the midwives, I was fast tracked for early discharge after my c-section for being low risk, and fit and healthy
Now 39 and pregnant with my second and still no mention of any age related risks

That said, I wouldn’t hang around too much ttc
It was definitely harder at 38 than 35…

Wheatfromchaff · 27/07/2021 21:03

What's your general health like? Do you drink heavily, or smoke? Are you a healthy weight? These are more relevant than age in my experience.

EishetChayil · 27/07/2021 21:04

Go for it. I was 38 when I got pregnant with DD and none of the medical professionals even raised an eyebrow at my age.

Conchitastrawberry · 27/07/2021 21:04

I had my first at 27, second at 34 and my last at 35. 36 is definitely not too old. My last pregnancy was much easier than my first health wise although I was knackered as my 2nd was only 4 months old when I fell pregnant with my third. A cluster feeding baby, constant nausea and early pregnancy tiredness don’t go well together!

Original poster
Hg176 · 27/07/2021 21:06

Thank you all this is so reassuring Flowers

I’m relatively healthy, don’t smoke, drink occasionally but usually within the weekly limit unless a big night out! In a healthy BMI though could lose a few lbs!

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 27/07/2021 21:07

Gosh, I think you're worrying rather prematurely Smile

I had mine at 45 after working abroad for years. DS is 13 now. I've worked hard to stay fit and active plus working full time, and we haven't hit a problem yet.

Get on with it, and good luck.

Newmummy39 · 27/07/2021 21:07

I'm 39 and had my first baby 5 months ago (I am 40 in November) you are NOT too old! Ignore the term geriatric! It's something they've used for so long now, but it's irrelevant.

Go for it!!

Sadiecow · 27/07/2021 21:09

@Mintjulia

Gosh, I think you're worrying rather prematurely Smile

I had mine at 45 after working abroad for years. DS is 13 now. I've worked hard to stay fit and active plus working full time, and we haven't hit a problem yet.

Get on with it, and good luck.

Well stop posting on MN and of you go...................Smile
Sadiecow · 27/07/2021 21:10

Apologies @mintjulia, quoted you by accident!!!

Lairymary · 27/07/2021 21:10

Got pregnant at 35 with my first (and currently only). It took a year and a half of trying, I would crack on with it Grin We will start trying for number 2 next year when we have moved house at the grand old age of 39!

Sadiecow · 27/07/2021 21:10

@Hg176

Thank you all this is so reassuring Flowers

I’m relatively healthy, don’t smoke, drink occasionally but usually within the weekly limit unless a big night out! In a healthy BMI though could lose a few lbs!

Well stop posting on MN and off you go .................. Smile
reader12 · 27/07/2021 21:11

The stats are much worse after 40 but anything before then is basically fine. Go for it!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/07/2021 21:11

My dd had her 2nd at 39 and her 3rd at 42 - both conceived without any special effort!

Several of her friends have had babies at similar ages. One had her 2nd at 45.

AlwaysLatte · 27/07/2021 21:15

I had my first at 36 (second at 39) and everything was totally fine.

Mousetown · 27/07/2021 21:15

I was 39 when I gave birth to my first. My midwife said they don’t use the term “geriatric” anymore because it’s outdated and inaccurate. When I went for my booking appointment she told me I was the youngest mum she had seen that day. The youngest person in my NCT group was 37. You are not old

earthyfire · 27/07/2021 21:18

My friend is pregnant and she's 43...do it!

diamondpony80 · 27/07/2021 21:22

One of my friends just had her first at age 40. Another is pregnant and will also be having her first at 40. I wouldn’t think twice about 36 to be honest. Now that I’m 40 I wouldn’t consider having another baby, but more because of DHs age than mine (he’s nearly 50)

feelingmehtoday · 27/07/2021 21:25

I had a baby in April and turned 36 in May. I don't feel remotely geriatric! The pregnancy was way tougher than my first pregnancy (which was when I was in my 20s), but that might have just been coincidence rather than age related. I also thought at 35 it would take months to conceive - I was very wrong! Fell pregnant within the first month off the pill. You're definitely not too old. Smile

Beamur · 27/07/2021 21:26

Crack on!
I had DD (first and only) at 36. Easy pregnancy and healthy baby. I wouldn't wait too long though as fertility does decline quickly in your late 30's

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 27/07/2021 21:27

Yanbu!
I had my kids at 35 and 39, it’s totally normal.

Hamster1111 · 27/07/2021 21:27

In close in age to you. I had my kids young, but most of my friends are on their first babies and planning more. They're just getting started on their families really. You are not too old at 36!!

readwhatiactuallysay · 27/07/2021 21:28

No, absolutely go for it.
I was the same and around that age when we had our DS.
It was the best age for us and im glad we waited.