Is my friend a bit sly? Aibu?

[sallybreads]

Ok il start by saying I know this is so unimportant and I won't exactly loose sleep over it but it has made me question if maybe I'm too nice for my own good sometimes.

Last year I was doing okay for money and my friend was struggling so I would help her out a lot (that's what friends do and I wasn't expecting a thing back )

We both love autumn /winter and love Halloween and Christmas.
We both loved a autumn duvet cover but she couldn't afford it so I bought each of us one.
Then I did the same for the Xmas duvet set.
I didn't want the money back,it was just a gift.
I wouldn't of felt right buying myself one and not her ..not when I knew she loved it.

Anyway this year I'm struggling with cash having lost my job earlier this year and started a new job which pays a bit less.
Me and her both loved the new autumn duvet set and we both wanted it..I said I don't get paid till end of the month so fingers crossed it's still in stock.
It was selling out fast ..so my friend ordered hers.
Then rang me to tell me and hoped I didn't mind.
The roles are now reversed and she's doing good with money.
Yet didn't think of getting mine for me and I would have paid her back at the end of the month.

It's not even really about a stupid quilt cover ..it's the fact that she clearly has just thought of number 1.
I feel a bit like a mug.
Aibu ?

@sallybreads - people are going to be judgemental. The whole duvet set malarkey has intrigued and surprised many. I have two sets, in use for about 8 years. Although the Aiden Turner ones have turned my head. My son's has seen him through 4 years of university, which seemed to involve a lot of lying down.
You'll understand folks may think you a bit profligate in that department, but your money, your choice. You've actually been given some lovely, kind, reassuring and supportive advice on here.
Take it.

I wouldn't say she's sly but she isn't as generous as you are. You can't make other people be as generous, just remember it if your situations change again. If money is tight a duvet cover when you clearly don't need one is a weird thing to spend money on

I've have similar friends and learned my lesson the hard way.
Unfortunately some people are Takers and never reciprocate.
But at least now, if in the future she expects your help again, you can say no and not feel guilty because believe me, she feels absolutely no guilt for not helping you!

I'd personally tax them to help pay for covid

Or a quilt cover tax, sounds like the OP would contribute nicely to reducing the country's debt.

Indeed, @PhilCornwall1

OP, I agree with you, people are getting sidetracked by the duvet cover thing, it is not relevant. What is relevant is your attitude to spending money on other people. You probably think you are generous, when in reality you are seen as a mug. Generous people are often taken advantage of. You are unreasonable because you expect others to give you gifts and they AFE not compelled to do so.

Omg this is actually hilarious 😂 😂

Honestly I would step right back from that friendship unless of course you like to associate with selfish, grabby brats.

Only extend your genorosity to those who reciprocate in future.

@mumontherun14

Omg this is actually hilarious 😂 😂

Agreed. I think we really need a photo of 2020 autumn duvet cover and 2021 duvet cover before any of us can make an informed judgement on what is reasonable and the level of deprivation the OP is enduring as a result of this slight.