AIBU for not giving my friend a lift home?

[Acey68]

My friend and I were at a mutual friends house to watch the WC final. I drove as I don't live too close (30 mins drive or so). My other friend lives a 15 minute bus ride away in the opposite direction to me and caught the bus there. She doesn't drive and planned to get an Uber home back to hers at the end of the night.
When the game finished and she attempted to get a taxi she noticed that the surcharge meant the taxi fare had doubled it's usual price. She asked me if I would mind giving her a lift home due to this, as she didn't want to pay the pricey taxi fare.
I said that I didn't really feel comfortable driving her home as I had 2 small glasses of wine over the course of the evening with a dinner, so was in that grey area where I was likely fine (felt fine) but for me I didn't want to spend longer in the car then I had to, just in case. She lives very centrally in the middle of a main high street with lots of pubs, bars and drunk people inevitably falling out of them and probably a higher police presence and traffic after the game and taking her home would have added 30 mins to my journey time.
I just wanted to get on the road and head back. I told her I would give her a lift to the bus stop and wait with her (once on the bus it takes her to her door in the middle of the high street she lives on, so no long walks) or offered to go halves on the taxi with her which she refused as she said the price was ridiculous and she wouldn't take my money for it.
She's been very off with me since and it came out the other day how disappointed with me, I am a selfish friend, she doesn't buy the excuse I gave, this shows I am only interested in myself and not helping others etc etc
As far as I see a lift is a favour not to be expected, and found myself having to justify why I didn't want to take her home. (She caught the bus in the end and it was fine)
We had a big fight and I'm upset and questioning myself now. AIBU?

What grey area? For me, there is no grey area with drunk driving. Don't do it.

@Summerbreeze4

No not unreasonable, being responsible for yourself when close to the limit is one thing, driving someone else and into a town is another.

You offered to pay half and wait at the bus stop, both suitable alternatives, she is being unreasonable

In my view, the OP was responsible for the other drivers and pedestrians she would meet on her journey home, @Summerbreeze4. She was risking their safety, driving after a couple of glasses of wine, when her judgement of her ability to drive safely, and her reaction times and driving skills will have been affected.

The responsible thing to do would have been to get a cab home and go back for the car the next day. What @Acey68 did was irresponsible and selfish. She is lucky that she got home safely, without hurting someone else.

Yabu for drink driving. The reason the laws are there is for safety. Police presence shouldn't come in to it. Seems you was too concerned with getting caught, not the potential impact your idiocy could have had. Twat.

I voted YANBU because I hate going out of my way to give people lifts.
And why offer to pay half the taxi fair! Yeh taxis are expensive, but so is running a car. I think offering to drop her at the bus stop and wait with her was the best option.

YABVU for drink driving. I'd be "off" with you for that regardless

LagunaBubbles

I'm guessing you're not in Scotland? One glass would put you over the drink drive limit, never mind 2....you were either safe to drive therefore I would have gave her a lift or you weren't.

1.Very informative post. Thanks (from rest of UK. Always good to double check on Country disparities)

1. WC?

1. School/Uni/Work holidays are here

1. Friend/Aquaintence has learned a lesson in adult responsibility.

Including fiscal responsibility and travel safety. Umbra

YANBU. She's tight. Yes.

1. The "pearl clutching" is a tad overdone. It's very often a bloke thing. Very often.

Meanwhile in the real world.... 🙍🍻🍺🚙

👨 < bloke

@PurpleHoodie WC = World Cup

👨🍻🍺🚙

YABU for drinking and driving. Surely you’re either safe to drive or you’re not so that was a rubbish excuse

YANBU for not giving her a lift when there were several other reasonable options

YANBU to decline the lift but your excuse was ridiculous. You shouldn't have been driving at all if you were concerned about police presence - that just goes to show you knew you shouldn't drive.

@PurpleHoodie I think 🤣

You shouldn't have been driving at all. What's this grey area bullshit?

Ah. Yes.

Thanks Crow.

Makes sense.

So you thought you'd dodge police and prosecution for DD, by not giving her a lift home?

Yabu. You are fine risking drunk driving as long as you don't get caught, that's fine, it's ok if you kill people, but you dont want to go in her direction in case the police catch you.

All the replies are getting sidetracked by the drink driving outrage which is not what you asked about and not what your friend objected to.

I'm not driving very long, still nervous so I'm considering a scenario where I was tired, it was dark and I didn't want to go on the motorway or through the city. I can imagine saying no in those circumstances.

I can also imagine being in your friends shoes and being quite miffed if she didn't understand or believe the reason. So why didn't she? Are you usually generous or not?

I personally think the compromises you offered her were decent and really it's her own responsibility to get herself home. I wonder is this a case of the last straw for her of you suiting yourself or is she actually a CF who assumed she'd be driven home.

Either you were fine to drive or not. YABU.

Be more Phoebe.

"I could. But I don't want to"

See this really pisses me off. If you were also getting public transport home, no one would expect you to go 15 mins in the opposite direction and then go home so why should you do it just because you have (paid for and pay to maintain) a car. If it was on the way of course that would of been a nice thing to do but the entitlement is not fair at all. I am a driver and happy to give lifts most of the time but I am also over the expectation constantly. Your car is for your convenience and not for that of others. Totally not being unreasonable!

Either say no (because you were a bit pissed) and get a cab home yourself or say yes (because you were fine to drive and wanted your friend to get home safely) and say yes?

I mean grey area in the sense that how can anyone really know unless you drink nothing? Which I appreciate is preferable, but I planned what amount I could drink to be safe and under the limit and then had dinner on top of that and didn't drink 4 hours before driving. Not in the sense that 'oh gosh I feel half cut, but I should be fine'. Surely I can't be the only one who has had a drink earlier in the evening with dinner and then driven much later??

This is why I prefer zero tolerance in Scotland. No grey area. So to me yabu for driving yourself never mind her.

I never knew alcohol had a less intoxicating effect on the body if driving east instead of west (as an example). Nor that it's fine to drive to your own home while possibly over the limit.

It being OK so long as you avoid areas that are likely to be fuzz heavy is well old school. Where was this friendly gathering, 1976?

My friend was killed by someone driving in their "grey area". Just slightly over the limit, felt fine, drove home and killed my friend.

You weren't unreasonable for saying no but you are for that I'm afraid.