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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for not giving my friend a lift home?

406 replies

Acey68 · 26/07/2021 20:05

My friend and I were at a mutual friends house to watch the WC final. I drove as I don't live too close (30 mins drive or so). My other friend lives a 15 minute bus ride away in the opposite direction to me and caught the bus there. She doesn't drive and planned to get an Uber home back to hers at the end of the night.
When the game finished and she attempted to get a taxi she noticed that the surcharge meant the taxi fare had doubled it's usual price. She asked me if I would mind giving her a lift home due to this, as she didn't want to pay the pricey taxi fare.
I said that I didn't really feel comfortable driving her home as I had 2 small glasses of wine over the course of the evening with a dinner, so was in that grey area where I was likely fine (felt fine) but for me I didn't want to spend longer in the car then I had to, just in case. She lives very centrally in the middle of a main high street with lots of pubs, bars and drunk people inevitably falling out of them and probably a higher police presence and traffic after the game and taking her home would have added 30 mins to my journey time.
I just wanted to get on the road and head back. I told her I would give her a lift to the bus stop and wait with her (once on the bus it takes her to her door in the middle of the high street she lives on, so no long walks) or offered to go halves on the taxi with her which she refused as she said the price was ridiculous and she wouldn't take my money for it.
She's been very off with me since and it came out the other day how disappointed with me, I am a selfish friend, she doesn't buy the excuse I gave, this shows I am only interested in myself and not helping others etc etc
As far as I see a lift is a favour not to be expected, and found myself having to justify why I didn't want to take her home. (She caught the bus in the end and it was fine)
We had a big fight and I'm upset and questioning myself now. AIBU?

OP posts:
Blueink · 28/07/2021 14:10

Either you were safe to drive or you weren’t. As you describe being in “a grey area” that’s not safe to drive either of you home, yet you still drove yourself. Not surprised by her cooling off since.

diddl · 28/07/2021 14:37

@Blueink

Either you were safe to drive or you weren’t. As you describe being in “a grey area” that’s not safe to drive either of you home, yet you still drove yourself. Not surprised by her cooling off since.
So she's pissed off that Op drove over the limit?

Not pissed off that Op didn't drive her home as she wanted?

Desnol · 28/07/2021 21:28

This reply has been deleted

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Mostlylurkingiam · 29/07/2021 06:17

2 drinks with dinner and 4 hours bad to driving you would have easily metabolized that and be fine to drive and you know it. Not giving a friend a lift is just mean, I would always go out of my 2ay to drop people home because it is a nice thing to do, she asked as felt stuck and you let her down, I can understand her upset.

101waystoworry · 29/07/2021 12:06

I don't think you were being unresonable for not giving her a lift home as you didn't have to if you didn't want to. However, I do agree with others, either you were over the limit or you were not.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/07/2021 13:33

Even if someone is under the limit, the alcohol they’ve drunk may well have affected their driving and affected their ability to judge how safe their driving is - which is why I wouldn't drink and drive, full stop.

Someone can be under the limit and still cause an accident that could kill or seriously injure another person, so I would not recommend that anyone drinks and drives - even if they think they are safe to drive and under the limit.

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