AIBU for not giving my friend a lift home?

[Acey68]

My friend and I were at a mutual friends house to watch the WC final. I drove as I don't live too close (30 mins drive or so). My other friend lives a 15 minute bus ride away in the opposite direction to me and caught the bus there. She doesn't drive and planned to get an Uber home back to hers at the end of the night.
When the game finished and she attempted to get a taxi she noticed that the surcharge meant the taxi fare had doubled it's usual price. She asked me if I would mind giving her a lift home due to this, as she didn't want to pay the pricey taxi fare.
I said that I didn't really feel comfortable driving her home as I had 2 small glasses of wine over the course of the evening with a dinner, so was in that grey area where I was likely fine (felt fine) but for me I didn't want to spend longer in the car then I had to, just in case. She lives very centrally in the middle of a main high street with lots of pubs, bars and drunk people inevitably falling out of them and probably a higher police presence and traffic after the game and taking her home would have added 30 mins to my journey time.
I just wanted to get on the road and head back. I told her I would give her a lift to the bus stop and wait with her (once on the bus it takes her to her door in the middle of the high street she lives on, so no long walks) or offered to go halves on the taxi with her which she refused as she said the price was ridiculous and she wouldn't take my money for it.
She's been very off with me since and it came out the other day how disappointed with me, I am a selfish friend, she doesn't buy the excuse I gave, this shows I am only interested in myself and not helping others etc etc
As far as I see a lift is a favour not to be expected, and found myself having to justify why I didn't want to take her home. (She caught the bus in the end and it was fine)
We had a big fight and I'm upset and questioning myself now. AIBU?

@BackforGood Of course it's a limit - a legally defined limit. Target? I never used the word. Where did this come from?

You wrote: "Any alcohol - even if under the limit because you are a heavier person - is likely to change your reaction fractionally."
True. So does eating food before driving.

Before driving, one should assess whether one feels safe enough to drive - that's a personal thing, different people are affected to a different extent. Then - the second criterion is that you must meet the legal obligations, i.e. be under the legal limit.

You wrote "Being sensible doesn't make anyone self righteous."
True, but the attitude: "This is how I behave, therefore everyone else must behave in exactly the same way, whether the rules and the law require it or not" is not sensible. And this thread is full of such comments!

You really couldn't see any vicious, nasty posts? Have another look.

It's not your responsibility to take a friend home! She didn't want to pay the taxi fare? That's a shame.

I think your excuse was really poor - you would have been better off saying you were tired and didn’t feel like the extra driving - but that you were not being unreasonable. You don’t have to give a lift to someone (though I must admit I always do) and on top of that you offered to split the taxi bill with her or take her and wait at the bus stop until the bus came. Your friend sounds very entitled and unreasonable. Equally though, if you thought you might be over the limit then you shouldn’t have been driving at all.

I can’t believe what I’m reading. If you were iffy driving further than you had to, you shouldn’t have been driving. Inexcusable.

I'm going to ignore the drink driving bit.
It was out of your way and sounds like she expected it and the 'oh look at the price of an Uber' was just an excuse.
Tell her that while your excuse was a poor one it changes nothing!

If you’ve drunk to much to be driving an extra 15
Minutes,‘you really shouldn’t drive at all

If you were too drunk to drive your friend home, you were too drunk to drive! I hate people like you, that think it's ok to drink drive as long as you're only going somewhere quiet you won't get caught! IT'S NOT OK

@Desnol - so if someone drinks and drives, and kills someone, it is OK as long as they are under the legal limit?

You’d be happy with your nearest and dearest out on the roads, surrounded by slightly pissed drivers, whose reactions and perception and skills have all been affected by alcohol?

Somehow I doubt it.

I do not understand why anyone condones drink-driving.

As an ambulance worker, your excuse is disgusting. For you to get behind the wheel of a car and drive hone where there’s no police presence.. just imagine the police presence at your door if you’d killed somebody and yourself because you were over the limit. Don’t do it again!

Terrible excuse. Even if you were under the limit it doesn’t mean you won’t be impaired. I wouldn’t drive in those circumstances as it isn’t worth it. Plus different types of alcohol, different strengths and all sorts of other stuff can effect your driving. I could drink 8 vodkas, be well over the limit but feel fine to drive and not feel at all impaired. I could have 1 very small glass of wine and be well under the limit but feel drunker than if I had 8 vodkas and that I wasn’t fit to drive.

You say having nothing to drink would be preferable as if you had no choice. You made the choice to drink wine, then use it as an excuse to not help a friend.

Yabu I would always off to take a friend who is using any public transport home if I'm driving (which I do often). It has never become expected of me. I see it as being a friend.

I was run over by a drink driver when I was 14. Not.only were you breaking the law but you are very, very selfish to other road users and pedestrians. You are inflated with your own self importance and I hope you never do this again. I also agree with your ex friends view of you. She can do a lot better than you, what a shambolic, useless and selfish friend you are.

People who choose not to have the expense of running a car for whatever reason are CFs for expecting other people, who do choose to shoulder the expense of running a vehicle, to run them around. I usually refuse on those grounds.

If you said no because it would literally double your journey then YANBU. But your excuse about the drink made no sense really.

YANBU to not give her a lift.

YABU to drive at all if there is any possibility that you were over/at the alcohol limit.

Sounds like you didn’t want to give her the lift & used the fact that you’d had 2 glasses of wine as the excuse. This is likely what’s pissed her off.
Like others have said you’re either fit to drive or you’re not. If you did t want to give her a lift you should have just said no, the excuse was really poor.

Personally I’d have given her a lift. If I’m driving I always expect to be giving lifts home anyway.

YANBU to not take your friend home, no one should expect it.

However, unfortunately 2 glasses of wine is over the legal limit, no grey area. For me, if you didn’t feel comfortable taking your friend home for this reason then you shouldn’t have been driving at all, sorry

There's a grey area involved in drink driving? Do the police know this?

The bottom line is you couldn’t be bothered to give her a lift. You very fairly offered to go halves on her cab, I think it’s fair. She clearly assumed she was getting a lift. As for you it excuse of the grey area I think you’re fibbing. Either you’re a drunk driver and knew you were over the limit or you knew you weren’t and used it as a poor excuse. I suspect you weren’t over the limit and couldn’t be bothered which is what your friend thinks too. Im not sure she has a right to expect a lift- she should have asked before hand. But I guess offering a lift is a kind thing to do and lots of people would. Maybe that’s just not the kind of person you are.

And I should add as to whether your were over the limit depends on when you had the wine etc.

Yanbu but I'd have given the lift for a friend

She was being unreasonable, only because she shouldn't even want to get in a car with a drink driver.
She was safer on the bus, where you should also have been!

You are BOTH BU - I think you should have BOTH taken a cab home and sucked up the cost. Taxi prices go up at night, or at times of high demand - you should all know this and plan for it.

I had 2 small glasses of wine over the course of the evening with a dinner, so was in that grey area where I was likely fine (felt fine) but for me I didn't want to spend longer in the car then I had to, just in case. She lives very centrally in the middle of a main high street with lots of pubs, bars and drunk people inevitably falling out of them and probably a higher police presence and traffic after the game

You were 'likely fine'? Fucking hell.

If you've drunk enough not to want to drive past some police, you are too drunk to drive. Appalling.

Jesus Christ are you completely stupid OP. You had no obligation to give her a lift (although I would have offered) but you are very VERY unreasonable to use the drinking as an excuse. As many others have said, if you are in a “grey area” with regards to how much you have drunk you should not have driven. I still don’t understand why people drink ANYTHING before driving. The limit effects people very very differently and whilst there (possibly) needs to be a very small alcohol allowance to take medication into account, it should be zero tolerance. How selfish of you.