AIBU to think that all men are a bit shit?

[Vitallyli]

I love DH, he's intelligent, generous, loves me, our DS, our dog, my family, he's not a cheater, not a gambler, but he also has low self esteem, can get paranoid about me cheating, can get depressed, drinks more than I think is okay, we are in our mid 30s, can shout at me sometimes, doesn't help me around the house much would rather make me a massage. He tells me compliments daily though, boosted my self esteem after birth for which I'll be eternally grateful. I hope I paint a fair picture. AIBU to think that all men are flawed and there is no perfect relationships and women have to put up with one thing or another or is there a beautiful loving, caring and respectful relationships out there?

@CrouchEndTiger12

Selfishness is huge though.

I have never met one who doesn't think if himself first middle and last

Selfishness is not a trait specific to men, though.

This isn’t an ‘all men are shit’ problem, it’s a YOUR man is a bit shit problem

This

All humans are flawed. To err is to be human or whatever the saying is.

But wrt one of the happiest and most full filled women I have ever come across gave up dating and having relationships with men. (She's hetero so it's not that she switched sides, she just gave up on men entirely)

No selfishness isn't unique to men but I don't hear many men complaining their wives leaves them with the house and the kids and a full time job whilst the women fucks off playing golf every Saturday.

Sorry, op. Your husband is shit in my book. His flaws far outweigh his good points.

I take it you're perfect op

All human are a bit shit, including you

Another post blaming everyone else for the individual’s own life choices.

@CrouchEndTiger12

Selfishness is huge though.

I have never met one who doesn't think if himself first middle and last

Mine does, always puts me before himself. I’ll admit to being surprised by this though, don’t think it’s very common amongst either gender.

Mine is a lazy, common, fat bastard.

But then I'm a conceited, high maintenance, neurotic bitch.

And he is good in bed so that obscures so many of my misgivings. Plus he is generous to a fault.
He smokes twenty fags a day but I drink four bottles of fizz a week.

I suppose its all dependent upon whether your flaws balance each other out.

Like many I'd say it goes both ways.
Dh spends too much time on his p
PC playing games, equally I spend too much time with my head buried in a book or mumsnet.

But we are a team, we work together to get stuff done, to bring up ds and to look after our pup.

Noone is perfect and everyone is a bit shit.

I read something that blew my mind once...It was

What makes a good wife? A good husband

So true

@Chailatteplease

Same. My DP is one of the least selfish people I know. I would even consider myself more selfish than he is, tbh.

YABU and I think this idea all men are shit acts as an excuse for some men to continue to be shit.

You don’t have to put up with shit behaviour no matter what sex they/you are.

You deserve better OP, and better is out there.

Surely everyone has flaws, men and women.
Women will find things that annoy them in a relationship, but so will men.
It's natural to find different things annoying

[quote feelingmehtoday]@Chailatteplease

Same. My DP is one of the least selfish people I know. I would even consider myself more selfish than he is, tbh. [/quote]
I would too. He has made me less selfish; through wanting to give back I suppose, but I’m still more selfish than him.

@OneGlamMama
I'll drink to the all men are shit

Soon to be divorcing as I've basically been a single mother since son was born.

So I take it your son is on the way to being shit too, then?

My Husband nor my sons are shit, no more than I am, tbh!

I’m certainly not one of the #notallmen brigade but I think it’s a bit shit you’re dragging all of our fathers/brothers/partners/sons down to your DH’s level.

And this is why nothing will ever change - woman taking offence at the calling out of anti social men, simply because they have other men in their family.

I've never understand why woman constantly put men down, as a mother of a son I am mortified to think he's going to be constantly judged just because he's a man.
All humans are 'shit' to a degree, we all have flaws no matter what's between our legs.
I know some amazing men and some utterly terrible woman and vice a versa.

But wrt one of the happiest and most full filled women I have ever come across gave up dating and having relationships with men. (She's hetero so it's not that she switched sides, she just gave up on men entirely)

That’s kind of where I am too. I put up with a lot of shit from my ex for a long time and it’s just so nice being single. I kind of miss men but I can’t be doing with trawling through loads of awful ones in search of a nice one. And there are a lot of awful ones. Selfish, misogynistic, lazy, smelly etc. Definitely not all and of course I’m not perfect myself, but when I hear about the horrors of OLD and see friends’ partners I just think, nah can’t be arsed.

As my grandad always used to say, there was only ever one person who was perfect, and they crucified him.

Nobody is perfect, but men's imperfections often seem to be more socially acceptable...

I do have a son and really try to teach him to be respectful and not a misogynist. I have known genuinely lovely men and I know it’s possible so I don’t write them all off, but by your 50s you can get a bit jaded :o

I have to agree, some men are shit, so yes, let's call out those men on their behaviour, not label them all the same.

My hubby is really quite good, that good, I might even keep him.
No, he is brilliant, so no, not all men are a bit shit, just some.

My brother is an amazing partner to his partner as well, so no not all

Everyone has flaws. In a relationship, you just have to try to be with someone who has flaws that you can live with 😂