To tell another adult that its bad manners?

[bluepompoms]

I am worried about this as don’t want kids to pick up on it.

DH is into cars, and knows a lot about them.

When we are out driving or if the TV is on and he sees a classic one or one like his or just one he likes he calls out. ‘Porsche!’ ‘Look, a Ferrari!’

Problem is he totally cuts across what you’re saying to do this. Even if it’s something important.

I’ve always hated it as you feel like a massive twat then pausing and resuming what you were saying, but AIBU to tell him it’s really bad manners? Worried about little DCs picking up on it and thinking it’s OK.

It takes a split second to say 'Ferrari' . Does he respond to whatever you're talking about ? If so, what's the problem ?

My DH does this (often with cars as well), and I agree it’s rude and doesn’t make you feel great. I’ve called him out on it and although he hasn’t stopped, he’s at least now aware of how much it bugs me and apologises. He is listening, because he always makes a point of trying to resume the conversation.

100% not being unreasonable to tell him how you feel. And make a fuss if you need to. He needs to acknowledge the affect his behaviour has on you.

There’s some desperately sensitive people on here.

OP, do you just want people to sit in a reverential silence while you are talking, or else you get upset and sit in a sulky silence?

I know general interruption and talking across you must be wearing and is incredibly rude - my FIL does it to me all the fucking time - but it doesn’t sound like he’s doing that.

And this is your H. Why can’t you tell him if it bothers you so much? I told my FIL to stop it. And when he occasionally does it now, I continue talking and increase my volume. It really highlights his actions. I don’t then sulk.

Do it back to him see how he likes it. Only, do it about really common cars so that you do it 50 times more than he does it. He'll soon stop.

@tolerable

errrr...yes.its utterly rude. Of you. To not realise the other adult is your dh/ kids dad. its his thing. hes a;;owed personal characteristics. the kids surely more likely to show a shared interest in his delight than in yout pernickityness. Cant you just ease up?important = call an ambulance. ..

This is just weird. How on earth can it be "utterly rude" of someone to not enjoy someone interrupting THEM? I have a few things that are "my thing" but that doesn't give my carte blanche to interrupt to talk about them at any given time. Usual social rules apply, my thing or not my thing.

Must be so boring when you do this to people who don't find cars in the slightest bit exciting

But I told you, @aSofaNearYou, I also do it with dogs and horses! I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like at least one of those things!

Even though I’m a gasp adult, I still get excited by things. imagine! It’s so unseemly.

My OH does this occasionally. I stop, pause (as dramatically as I can) and then say 'as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted...'. Cone to think of it, he hasn't done it for a while.

I'm with you, OP. Unless you have some weird interrupting tradition in your family it's rude and disrespectful.

Sounds really juvenile. If someone is saying something important you should focus on what they're saying. Calling out random observations obviously isn't doing that.

@pleasedonttextmyman

He's not a random adult, he's your own husband.

Don't you people ever.. TALK to each other?

He's not talking to her though is he, he's interrupting & also not letting Op talk to him!

@percheron67

I hope he pronounces Porsche properly in front of the children.

A decorator is asked to paint the porch. When he's finished, he knocks on the door to let the householder know, saying "by the way, it's not a porch. It's a Ferrari." (yes, I know - women paint too)

Sorry OP - I'm doing exactly the same as your DH does - it's really annoying when someone cuts across you with something irrelevant and trivial. I hate it when anyone does that to me and I refuse to continue with whatever I was saying. But, I do tell them that their rudeness is why I'm not continuing.

I wouldn't like this, feels like a toddler pointing and yelling at a truck.

It takes a split second to say 'Ferrari' . Does he respond to whatever you're talking about ? If so, what's the problem ?

It's annoying? It's disrespectful? Would he do it if he was having a chat outside a shop with a policeman? Or his favourite celebrity/a famous politician? It's just really juvenile.

I don’t expect perfect manners, I’ve put up with it for years. It does annoy me because I do think it’s rude but I’ve put up with it because I care about DH.

What I am worried about is raising children who think it’s acceptable to shout across others, including the teacher when they start school.

I love how the interrupters have decided I’m the rude one because I’m boring

It obviously is rude when the other person is saying something really personal or important, or if he's calling them out every few minutes.

But also, if you're driving, and there's a really uncommon car, it's not something where you can wait for someone to finish, because it'll be gone. And it's ok to find something really exciting.

Do you also talk a lot,? My ex-MIL would sometimes cut across her dh in the car to point out a beautiful old house or church (she likes them, me and her DD too), and he would make a grumpy face or comment loudly "As I Was SAYING...". But if she waited it wouldn't work because the thing would be gone and also he doesn't ever stop talking.

And also you know what, not everything I say will be interesting.

Sometimes I will need to ask where he’s put a child’s item of clothing, or to find out how much money we have, or to discuss annual leave and childcare. All those things are dull. They are also part of life. Doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of being listened to and responded to.

I don’t think I do talk excessively.

It’s getting a bit upsetting being told I am boring my family to death and that’s why dh is shouting across me. It isn’t, he literally does it all the time.

He’s a good guy. I’m not trying to be horrible about him but I don’t want children who shout across the room either.

Am the only person who can find something interesting or exciting without making an exhibition of myself shouting out about it at inappropriate times?

It's really odd and rude behaviour unless it's an in joke type thing with the others you are with.

Sounds very childish and incredibly rude

That would really annoy me tbh, he sounds like a kid. I'd switch the TV off and have a conversation with him about it.

@HoliHormonalTigerlilly

Yellow car!!!!

@HoliHormonalTigerlilly

Yellow car!!!!

🤣 Tgats me and also every time K see a dog. But then DP is like this too with figs so it doesn’t bother either of us.

I’d mention it OO he probably dies t realise it hurts you.

Sounds a bit childish! unless he's with another boy-man who's also that into seeing a posh car drive by...

@MoreAloneTime

Am the only person who can find something interesting or exciting without making an exhibition of myself shouting out about it at inappropriate times?

It's really odd and rude behaviour unless it's an in joke type thing with the others you are with.

No, you're not. This is something everyone should be capable of and see the necessity in.

He needs two paddles, one with a picture of a Ferrari and one with a Porsche on it to hold up mutely as appropriate.

But it could be worse. He could be blurting out, 'What a babe!' or 'Hottie!'

He sounds a bit simple.