To tell another adult that its bad manners?

[bluepompoms]

I am worried about this as don’t want kids to pick up on it.

DH is into cars, and knows a lot about them.

When we are out driving or if the TV is on and he sees a classic one or one like his or just one he likes he calls out. ‘Porsche!’ ‘Look, a Ferrari!’

Problem is he totally cuts across what you’re saying to do this. Even if it’s something important.

I’ve always hated it as you feel like a massive twat then pausing and resuming what you were saying, but AIBU to tell him it’s really bad manners? Worried about little DCs picking up on it and thinking it’s OK.

My dad used to do that with motorbikes! He knew them individually via engine noise of in the house etc gosh I miss him doing that! It’s not rude it’s passion.

Well if you're in the car that's not unreasonable or rude because in order for anyone else to see and appreciate it he needs to point it out at the time.

I'm with you op. My dp tells me every fucking detail of his work day, and I listen, because I love and care about him and it's important to him. I also have (suspected) adhd so often have to practically sit on my hands to control the urge to interrupt as thoughts pop into my head, because I know interrupting is irritating and rude.

Yet my dp does it all the time and it drives me nuts. Because it feels like I'm not important enough to listen to, even though I take care to listen to him.

I get it.

And yes, I'll shout out in the car, if I've seen something but not if another person is in mid flow!

@TiddyTidTwo

"Excuse me for talking whilst you were interrupting" is my go to

I'm nicking that!!! 😁

Well if you're in the car that's not unreasonable or rude because in order for anyone else to see and appreciate it he needs to point it out at the time.

Nobody else cares.

@RedHelenB

Well if you're in the car that's not unreasonable or rude because in order for anyone else to see and appreciate it he needs to point it out at the time.

But nobody else IS going to appreciate it. Because he's the only one that's interested.

@Eleoura

Does your DH have any learning or social issues that would make him think its acceptable to cut across people and point out car brands???

Why have you never mentioned this before to him?

This. I would have got sick to death with that after about six months.

Start doing it to him, but with random stuff like 'green house!' Or 'red bus!'

@SW1amp

I think I do the same when I see a sausage dog

I do exactly the same for any kind of dog!

Or sheep on a recent holiday to Wales :D

I am a chronic interrupter though, it comes from being brought up in a family where everyone talks at once, so you have 4 conversations going simultaneously.

I'm wondering if you're my ex's DW He was constantly doing this. Yeah, it's rude. Bugs me how everyone's always interrupting these days.

My DH does this - not just calling out the name of the car, but commenting frequently about other driver's behaviour, driving ability, or what their vehicle looks like. Meantime I'm expected to wait and then recommence what I was saying. It's rude, and I've told him so, but he still does it and has probably done so all his adult life. He's lovely in every other way, so I let it go now.

I'd send him to his room with his favourite 'sticker book'

Just respond with: "...as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted..."

@Sarahlou63

Interesting article here about how long you should speak. Apparently 20 seconds is fine, 40 seconds and you're losing your listener.

Thanks @Sarahlou63. Genuinely.

I had only just finished reading the interesting article about core beliefs which you posted on the thread about bullying. I found it fascinating This one looks good too.

You are the queen of interesting articles. Can I interest you in drawing up a reading list for my holiday?

DH and MIL are awful for interrupting with totally unrelated things, it definitely makes you feel like they aren't listening to you. It happened so often that I stopped trying to continue the conversation, and was not at all surprised to find that they didn't even notice.

DH has got better at catching himself, he once moaned at me about his mum doing it to him and was surprised I wasn't sympathetic.

I definitely don't monologue and drone on, I'm a fairly quiet person who prefers to listen instead of talk, so on the occasions when I am talking I quite like to know I'm being listened to.

I think you’ve got bigger problems than him calling out car names, given the impersonal way your refer to him as ‘another adult’, and your need to check if it’s OK to tell him how you feel about this.

Sorry, I’m a petrol head and if I see an exciting and unusual super car, I will intercept to point it out. They’re fast, they’re uncommon and they’re exciting! And if you don’t point them out, they’ll be gone and it’ll be too late. I do the same with horses. And dogs. 😌

I do this but it's more.... Ahhh cat! /Dog/ literally any animal

@SW1amp

I think I do the same when I see a sausage dog

That's lovely and completely acceptable

@Winterwoollies

Sorry, I’m a petrol head and if I see an exciting and unusual super car, I will intercept to point it out. They’re fast, they’re uncommon and they’re exciting! And if you don’t point them out, they’ll be gone and it’ll be too late. I do the same with horses. And dogs. 😌

Must be so boring when you do this to people who don't find cars in the slightest bit exciting.

A building, a dairy, alongside the A306? Chertsey, used to have a set of concrete cows on the roof. Everyone in the car, kids and not kids, would yell "cows on the roof" as we passed. I have a horrible feeling that if any of us passed anywhere with cows on the roof now (yes, how likely?), any of us might suddenly bawl "cows on the roof" and have to live with the shame for ever.

errrr...yes.its utterly rude. Of you. To not realise the other adult is your dh/ kids dad. its his thing. hes a;;owed personal characteristics. the kids surely more likely to show a shared interest in his delight than in yout pernickityness. Cant you just ease up?important = call an ambulance. ..

@messyhouse93

this could literally be written about my DH! He’ll just cut across a conversation with whatever thought pops into his head. I try to remind him (after the fact) that it’s embarrassing for me when he does that but I put it down to him having some anxiety and awkwardness around contributing to conversations.

Interrupting inappropriately and blurting stuff out can often be a sign of ADHD.

Every time he does it I'd shout Arse or wanker in response. He sounds pathetic. Why does he need to tell other people he's seen a car he likes.

@Pantene23

Honestly, hearing about an ex colleagues health (who he probably doesn’t even know) is boring. Sad for you maybe…but means nothing to him. I’m not surprised he found his car thing more interesting.

Maybe it means nothing to him. But the fact the OP was upset should mean something.

I also think it's one of many examples in life when men think they are superior to women: more interesting and what they say should be given attention.
Even men who believe they are feminists secretly wish they were married in the 50s when Men Were Important.

I think everyone has their foibles and if you can't do a few weird things with your partner then who can you do it with? I don't always watch my manners with dh and he doesn't with me, almost 20years in we know the intentions of the other. I point out dogs sometimes or flowers, he points out motorbikes or other vehicles. Meh.