To want to sell a gift

[Lastsundayinjuly]

I was bought an expensive present a few months ago, worth over a thousand pounds.

I don’t use it and won’t have many opportunities to.

I want to sell it but the person who gave it to me is clearly against this.

Is this horribly ungrateful of me or makes sense? (I could really, really use the money.)

It is a little frustrating as like I say I do need the money and it is literally gathering dust. Sigh.
Does the money benefit you both or just you, do they disapprove of how you spend your money, do they worry you'll spend ot on your feckless partner or end up giving it to your adult xhild?
But actually people just dont wnat to play 100 questions trying to get the info to answer you properly or habe to write an answer for every possible scenario because you cant write "husband, car" pr "aunty Edie, large glass ornament"

@messybun101 is right

Tbh @SleepingStandingUp I would prefer it if you left the thread, as I feel like I’m being questioned on a murder investigation, not asking a fairly harmless question on MN.

See the thing is if DP (yes, I’ll answer that one) happens upon it, it could be a little bit awkward. Conceded, unlikely, but still. I’ve made it clear I’d rather not get into specifics. Can’t handle that? no problemo. Plenty of other threads.

Absolutely no way should you sell it if the gifter has told you they're against it. As it's a significant gift and it's going to waste I would explain this and offer to give it back or suggest I would find an eager recipient. I think selling it is beyond crass.

Tbh it's really annoying that you won't say what the gift is or who gave it but anyway.

Just to add if people know what it is, alot of people might be able to say whether it is worth it to sell,

For example a diamond ring - not going to be worth anywhere near £1000 now
A macbook - might be able to get something close depending on what it is.

Also agree with PP that it would be useful to know if you live with the person or not.

It is worth it to sell. I’m not daft. Not very daft, anyway

Another thing OP, is it possible to get a full refund on it? Maybe find something that you would be find useful, or is that a no as well?

Is it something that's meant to be used, like a watch, or something that's meant to be decorative? Is it a horse?

What kind of thing is it? You don’t need to say exactly. But is it something the other person wants to use as well? Like your partner buying you a car? A computer? Your saying they will know it’s gone, so it’s clearly not like your mum buying you an expensive bag or something.

I dunno. Your not being unreasonable to want to sell it, but without some kind of a hint as to what it’s used for/value then I don’t know how unreasonable it is to want to sell it.

If that makes sense

If it’s for example an exercise bike - something functional that you won’t use, I’d sell. Especially if it’s taking up a lot of room.

If it’s something more sentimental like jewellery i wouldn’t. That’s prob more about the gesture.

Pmsl at a decorative horse!

@THisbackwithavengeance

It depends.

If someone paid let's say £2,000 for a gift which a couple of months later, you sell for £500 as second hand, then clearly the person who bought the gift has effectively spunked £1500 against the wall which would piss me off if I were the original purchaser.

If you can sell for more or less its original retail price then it's less of an issue.

But if it's not sold, you've spunked the entire £2000 because it has no worth to the person you gave it to. Surely you would want the giftee to be happy with the gift?

So it wasnt a gift? I mean if you can't sell it is it not yours? 🤷‍♀️

I find it weird that someone bought you such an expensive unwanted gift. Did you have any input into the choosing?

@Lastsundayinjuly

I don’t think lying would be advisable regardless what the item is. That isn’t what I am suggesting I do.

You did suggest that you don’t want to lie with this post tbh.

It’s a gift for you to do with as you want. Sell it use or dust it. Up to you if think the relationship will survive whatever you choose.

What is it?

You’re being a bit precious by refusing to answer

@Lastsundayinjuly If you didn't feel so broke, would you keep and appreciate the gift? Or is it something that was absolutely never to your taste?

Is there any kind of emotional connection/in-joke, or is a present that's fairly generic?

If you sell it, are you likely to get the full amount back, or a tiny percentage of what the donor paid?

Posters are asking what it is because that lessens the mental work they have to do to think of an appropriate answer. As it is, you're effectively asking them to suggest what they'd do in a variety of different situations. I suppose there may be some kind soul out there bored enough to do that, you never know. But it will not be me

Did you tell DP at the time? I think he's annoyed that he bought a shite gift? (I say in the kindest way!)
Surely he's noticed it's been collecting dust all this time??

I'm baffled at posters telling you you CAN'T sell it!!'
Why not? What else is she supposed to do with it? It's useless and a 'TBH is a massive pain in the arse'

DP made a thoughtful but thoughtless gift purchase
I mean, the thought was there (giving you a gift) but it was thoughtless (you smile, say that's lovely!' but wonder 'WHY?')

If I gave you a car because I thought you needed it/would find it useful, and you sold it. then I think I WOULD be hurt. And I'd be very hurt indeed if I gave you something meaningful (family thing) and you sold it rather than gave it back.

The reason why what it is matters is just because things do have different visibility/meaning.

If someone gave me a piece of fancy clothing/a bag/something like that which I knew I was never going to use, then I think I might sell it, but I wouldn't admit to it.

And if I knew they would really mind, I'd growl inwardly, but I wouldn't sell it unless I really had to.

Is it a bit of exercise equipment? Something that said friend would notice if missing when she visits? 🤔 those are the sort of things gathering dust in my house anyway (bloody exercise bike).

Could you lend what ever it is to another friend and then they never return it? 🤔

The exception (to the selling even if they minded) would be if it were something that it cost me to keep: a boat, an animal, a car that I didn't want. But I think that I'd feel I had to offer it back first.

@Lastsundayinjuly

Tbh *@SleepingStandingUp* I would prefer it if you left the thread, as I feel like I’m being questioned on a murder investigation, not asking a fairly harmless question on MN.

See the thing is if DP (yes, I’ll answer that one) happens upon it, it could be a little bit awkward. Conceded, unlikely, but still. I’ve made it clear I’d rather not get into specifics. Can’t handle that? no problemo. Plenty of other threads.

no need to be so rude.

The actual gift matters. You asked a question, posters are trying to answer you.

I find it weird that someone bought you such an expensive unwanted gift. Did you have any input into the choosing?

It's not as weird as you think. Some people are just rubbish with presents.
When it comes to my birthday, I know to expect a gift from DP that has very little thought and sentimental value because he's a lazy thinker.
An absolutely fantastic man but he's a pish pish gift buyer. He often spends waaaay more than needed for the sake of it. Just because. And then you feel the need to be all 'aw, thanks hun' because it's nice he did it and don't want to seem ungrateful

Hot tub?