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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to sell a gift

308 replies

Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:10

I was bought an expensive present a few months ago, worth over a thousand pounds.

I don’t use it and won’t have many opportunities to.

I want to sell it but the person who gave it to me is clearly against this.

Is this horribly ungrateful of me or makes sense? (I could really, really use the money.)

OP posts:
BarefootHippieChick · 25/07/2021 20:32

Can you just put it away somewhere and keep saying 'Wouldn't it be nice if we had the money for X' ?

DogsSausages · 25/07/2021 20:33

If it was so very expensive and hasn't been used is it something the manufacture or shop might take back or was it bought too long ago.

thefirstmrsrochester · 25/07/2021 20:35

It doesn’t matter what the gift is, however the person gifting has shelled out over a grand and doesn’t want OP to sell it, regardless of how little it will be used.

Is it ok to sell gifted items - certainly.
Is it ok to sell gifted items and hurt the feelings of the person who gave the gift - probs not if it’s someone you care about.

mistermagpie · 25/07/2021 20:36

I think you need to say what it is because there is a difference, emotionally, between an iPad and a diamond ring, and this would effect the advice I give on the matter.

Original poster
Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:38

As in you would not sell a diamond ring but you would an iPad? So that is all you need to say Smile

OP posts:
Bargebill19 · 25/07/2021 20:41

I think people are asking as some things a are easier to hide/explain away their absence.
Eg. Jewellery, you could say it’s not appropriate to wear it/it’s in the safe/get a copy made. A laptop could be in Your car or left at work to cover its disappearance. But to hide a car or explain away its absence is somewhat trickier, and you might just have to accept that you can’t sell it without hurting a close relationship.

pleasedonttextmyman · 25/07/2021 20:42

@Lastsundayinjuly

I’m absolutely lost as to how saying what it is would lead to proper advice. If you can explain why this is necessary I will gladly share.

I don’t believe I did hint that I wanted it. Misguided generosity I think.

You can't see that a voucher for a spa weekend or a piece of jewelry is in the same category as a painted portrait of your baby..
Original poster
Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:42

I don’t think lying would be advisable regardless what the item is. That isn’t what I am suggesting I do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:43

Why would a painted portrait of my baby be resold for a large amount of money?

I didn’t give birth to the messiah.

OP posts:
lifehappened · 25/07/2021 20:46

@Lastsundayinjuly

Why would a painted portrait of my baby be resold for a large amount of money?

I didn’t give birth to the messiah.

😂😂 best thing I've read on here today
Bargebill19 · 25/07/2021 20:47

Op what do you want to do? If you aren’t prepared to lie, then if you sell, you will have to tell the truth and risk ruining your relationship. Or, you keep the item and that’s the end of it.

messybun101 · 25/07/2021 20:48

@Lastsundayinjuly

Why would a painted portrait of my baby be resold for a large amount of money?

I didn’t give birth to the messiah.

GrinGrin great response
BobbidyBob · 25/07/2021 20:49

@Lastsundayinjuly

Why would a painted portrait of my baby be resold for a large amount of money?

I didn’t give birth to the messiah.

I’ve had a horrible day and this has cracked my haggard old face into a proper grin!

I guess you have to think what the relationship is worth to you, and know that you might sacrifice it for the value of the gift. Personally if I give people something and it doesn’t fit them, I would much rather they swap or sell it for something they’d get the use/enjoyment of!

BarefootHippieChick · 25/07/2021 20:50

Honestly, if the person who bought it knows you didn't want it and won't use it, won't they be more annoyed in the end that its sitting around unused and their money has gone to waste? I still say it's daft to spend that much if you're not entirely sure the gift will be appreciated.

Original poster
Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:51

Nowhere in my OP did I suggest not lying. I was wondering if it was unreasonable to plough on regardless and sell it even though I know the gift giver would probably be put out and hurt.

It is a little frustrating as like I say I do need the money and it is literally gathering dust. Sigh.

As for the we must know what it is posters …l I would actually have been more inclined to share what it was had posters been upfront and said ‘I’m desperate to know because I’m a nosey git’!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:52

I am genuinely pleased I have made some of you smile, though, it is not often a joke of mine is appreciated Grin

OP posts:
pleasedonttextmyman · 25/07/2021 20:52

@Lastsundayinjuly

Why would a painted portrait of my baby be resold for a large amount of money?

I didn’t give birth to the messiah.

fair enough, I gave a crap example.

But you must have seen my point between a gift that was a bit personal, and another electronic device...

messybun101 · 25/07/2021 20:54

I think you should go ahead with the sale if you really need the money and this would help you

The person who gifted it to you js going to be pissed off either way now they know you're considering selling it op.
If you sell it - you're the ungrateful meanie that threw away their gift
If you keep it - they know you don't want it now, have told them it isn't being used and they'll see it is going to waste

Unfortunately it looks like they're going to be miffed at you either way. Honestly, I see that the present is yours to use, or sell.

Original poster
Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:54

The point is that the gift is not being used, is not likely to be used in the near future and TBH is a massive pain in the arse.

Yes, I do understand some things are more personal than others, but that really isn’t the point here. The point is that I have a problem with money, or lack thereof, I have something I could sell, but apparently can’t, which is most frustrating!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 25/07/2021 20:56

@Lastsundayinjuly

I’m absolutely lost as to how saying what it is would lead to proper advice. If you can explain why this is necessary I will gladly share.

I don’t believe I did hint that I wanted it. Misguided generosity I think.

Well is it something they've brought you because they think it will improve your life but you're reticent to take a helpful step forward? Is it a piece of jewellery that just isnt to your taste? Is ot something that they think would make you more into the person THEY want you to he

Is it Aunt Edna who visits yearly or your DH - who's controlling or loving.

All of those affect the advice

You don't need to declare the specifics but who an a vague are of what would help

pussycatlickinglollyices · 25/07/2021 20:56

I’m desperate to know because I’m a nosey git’!
^ This. I am a nosey git. Grin

Or you could just wear the tiara while you're in Tescos...

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 25/07/2021 20:58

Can it be returned? Surely you DP would understand?

Lysianthus · 25/07/2021 20:58

@messybun101

I think you should go ahead with the sale if you really need the money and this would help you

The person who gifted it to you js going to be pissed off either way now they know you're considering selling it op.
If you sell it - you're the ungrateful meanie that threw away their gift
If you keep it - they know you don't want it now, have told them it isn't being used and they'll see it is going to waste

Unfortunately it looks like they're going to be miffed at you either way. Honestly, I see that the present is yours to use, or sell.

Messy has it nailed. OP, I think you should sell. Be bold!
Original poster
Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:58

I would probably get more use out of a tiara, tbh.

OP posts:
JungleBeats · 25/07/2021 20:59

I don't think you could sell it, I think that would be really hurtful. I know I wouldn't. If you needed the money for another gift type thing then that might be okay, but not just for bills.

BTW I am bloody NOSEY!