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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to sell a gift

308 replies

Lastsundayinjuly · 25/07/2021 20:10

I was bought an expensive present a few months ago, worth over a thousand pounds.

I don’t use it and won’t have many opportunities to.

I want to sell it but the person who gave it to me is clearly against this.

Is this horribly ungrateful of me or makes sense? (I could really, really use the money.)

OP posts:

Lalliella · 25/07/2021 22:26

I’m nosey. Please tell me what it is

museumsandgalleries666 · 25/07/2021 22:28

@SleepingStandingUp

Op if you just say what it is and who brought it, people can give you proper advice

You don't need to know what it is, you're just being nosy.

LunaBunaTuna · 25/07/2021 22:29

I guess Thermomix.

SpindleWhorl · 25/07/2021 22:30

Yeah it sounds like a piano / MG midget space-consuming thing that are supposed to be future investments somehow.

Or a painting.

HollowTalk · 25/07/2021 22:30

How many minutes did your partner spend thinking about the gift and how it would suit you before he bought it?

Will it hold its value?

sunflowerdaisies · 25/07/2021 22:33

Based on the very limited information you'd like to share then I think you shouldn't sell it if you care about the other person and their feelings.

HalzTangz · 25/07/2021 22:35

@Lastsundayinjuly

If you can explain why this is necessary, sure.

I’m not sure I understand why you need to know this,I’m afraid.

Because depending who it is from will depends on the advice given

mistermagpie · 25/07/2021 22:35

I'll admit I'm nosy, that's the whole point of Mumsnet isn't it? Otherwise, why are we all even here reading peoples posts about parking and wedding drama and toilet training?!

Anyway, it depends on the givers personality really. I bought my DP an Apple Watch and he didn't end up liking it so I told him to go ahead and sell it to buy something else, didn't bother me one little bit. But other people attach more meaning to gifts and it sounds like your DP might be one of these people, so it's possibly not worth the hassle.

If it's a big thing that's taking up space though (piano/horse) then you have to sell it, or give it back. It would be silly to inconvenience yourself to a great extent to accommodate something you don't even like.

Kona84 · 25/07/2021 22:37

I wouldn’t sell something that someone gifted me second hand- for example I was given a baby cot recently that had been used by my friend. When I have finished with it I will be donating it onwards.

But I have sold things that have been gifted to me for Christmas or birthday etc.
I don’t like clutter and sometimes have needed the money more than the item.
I’ve never had any comeback on it- sorry if I missed it on the thread but how long have you had it?
If you’ve had it a month that would be different to selling it 1 year later.
I guess it also depends if you live with the person or not- how quick they will notice it’s gone and need an explanation.

On the other hand I would never gift someone an item that I never wanted them to part with. It’s up to them what they do with it

Suprima · 25/07/2021 22:37

I don’t understand why you’d post this and then get annoyed with people asking you what it was

We can’t really advise you tbh

Katesboy8 · 25/07/2021 22:39

@Lastsundayinjuly

Tbh, I’m finding it a bit stressful, and I wish people would stop, but they won’t.

It is worth remembering that when someone says no, that should really be respected.

No is a complete sentence. Unless you’re on MN.

Why post if you’re being so evasive? What is the reason for not saying what it is? How can anyone give you a fair opinion if they have no idea what you’re talking about?

EffYouSeeKaye · 25/07/2021 22:41

I think it’s fine to return it whoever purchased it for you, so that they can return / resell it. It’s not fine for you to sell it and keep the money.

HalzTangz · 25/07/2021 22:42

@Lastsundayinjuly

The point is that the gift is not being used, is not likely to be used in the near future and TBH is a massive pain in the arse.

Yes, I do understand some things are more personal than others, but that really isn’t the point here. The point is that I have a problem with money, or lack thereof, I have something I could sell, but apparently can’t, which is most frustrating!

Have you explained to the person how much you are struggling financially. Or did you just say I want to sell it and get this instead.

Maybe if the person understood the financial difficulties they wouldn't be so upset about you selling it

Wheatfromchaff · 25/07/2021 22:43

@EffYouSeeKaye

I think it’s fine to return it whoever purchased it for you, so that they can return / resell it. It’s not fine for you to sell it and keep the money.

this

SilverTotoro · 25/07/2021 22:44

I wouldn’t, not if I thought the very generous gift giver would be upset by it. Essentially someone has done something kind and generous and in response you are considering doing something that you think may hurt them for financial gain. If it’s inherited/ sentimental jewellery, art or similar then you definitely shouldn’t sell it. If it can be refunded by the gift giver in full, ie unused kitchen utensil, be honest say you don’t use it and give it back so they can be refunded. I think if the gift giver then chose to give you money instead that would be up to them.

WoodPell · 25/07/2021 22:47

It matters for me in terms of physical size. I bought a Mulberry bag with some inheritance a long time ago. Don't use it now but I can easily keep it on top of the wardrobe in a dustbag. Same with a watch.

If it's taking up house floorspace (or requires things like a subscription to use/servicing) I would sell.

WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 25/07/2021 22:51

Elephant?

FudgeFlake · 25/07/2021 23:00

[quote sweeneytoddsrazor]@Lastsundayinjuly

If you didn't give birth to the Messiah did you give birth to a very naughty boy?[/quote]

Drivingmeupthewall · 25/07/2021 23:04

Well this was annoying. The secrecy was just attention seeking as the OP must have predicted posters would ask. But instead they flounced away from their own thread.

So I’m going to presume it’s a life size depiction of Cliff Richard in gold resin, currently being used as a hat stand in the hallway of their 2.5 bed semi in Derbyshire. Hence it would be outing and immediately conspicuous by its absence.

HalzTangz · 25/07/2021 23:06

The question I was ask, did the person who bought it, buy it with savings/spare money they had, or did they get it on a credit card/payment scheme.
If the latter, I wouldn't sell it as it screams I don't çare you're in debt I'm doing what I want. If this is the case let them return it or sell it to clear their debt

If it's the first, then surely its no different to buying anything else cash outright, once money you decide to spend is gone, it's free for recipient to decide if they keep or sell

NotYourNachos · 25/07/2021 23:10

Honestly mumsnet is so bizarre sometimes!!
@Lastsundayinjuly you are not ungrateful.
If you have asked for specified item and then decided you didn’t want it maybe but in your case it just seems silly to keep it and let it loose more value
Can you dh not return it for a refund most places have longer returns periods due to covid

NotYourNachos · 25/07/2021 23:11

If gift giver gets upset perhaps they could instead reflect on how to get gifts people actually want
I don’t get why people would keep expensive gifts they would never use?!

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/07/2021 23:11

I'm a bitch and would just sell it.

I would rather have a thoughtful gift that cost £5 than a £1k present that showed that the person didnt know or care what I like at all. Hence why the BF who bought me a "fantastic" Xmas present of a particular Pandora charm didnt last long. Wouldnt have minded so much but he had been told many times that I a) dont like Pandora and b) didnt have a bracelet so the fucking charm was a waste all round! It went back to the shop and he went back into the sea!

NotYourNachos · 25/07/2021 23:12

Is it a boat

BackforGood · 25/07/2021 23:14

I find it weird that someone bought you such an expensive unwanted gift. Did you have any input into the choosing?

This. ^

Presumably anyone who is going to spend such a huge amount of money on a gift for you will have to be someone really close to you unless they are extremely wealthy and have no sense of money so presumably they would also be aware that you aren't v v wealthy yourself, so why on earth would they just buy something that you have no use for. It doesn't make sense.
If you aren't sure, you spend £20 on someone.

However , Why didn't you say this to the giver, a couple of days after they had given it to you ? At that point they might well have been able to return it and get the full money back.

This is why people have been asking what it was, to get an idea of how much of the money you would be likely to get back, and also to have an idea if it is a ruddy great treadmill or a car or something that is in the way, or a piece of jewellery which isn't

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