To want to sell a gift

[Lastsundayinjuly]

I was bought an expensive present a few months ago, worth over a thousand pounds.

I don’t use it and won’t have many opportunities to.

I want to sell it but the person who gave it to me is clearly against this.

Is this horribly ungrateful of me or makes sense? (I could really, really use the money.)

@HaveringWavering no I was late 20s, I found it really hard to find my grateful smile upon opening 😂

Oh gosh, that’s a tricky one! I’ve never had the balls to sell anything I’ve been gifted from DH but wish I had! So many things for the house I would have loved more than a handbag in a colour I’d never use! But I’m worried I’d sound ungrateful and hurt his feelings if I asked to return it or sell it. Very difficult if you’ve already had the conversation and he’s said he’d be upset if you sold it but then on the other hand it does seem a large amount of money to waste. Do you think you’ll ever use it at all? Is it the kind of thing that could be an heirloom perhaps to worth keeping?

Don’t do it. It’s incredibly rude and ungrateful.

It's okay to want to sell the gift if it isn't a gift that fits in with your lifestyle and you aren't getting anything from it but if it is going to cause a falling out or something along those lines I would personally try and find another way to raise the money that you could get from selling the gift. I have been comprising my birthday wish list and my husband has laughed at some of the things on it because they are practical items that I actually need and would be used (he laughed because he said he'd do the same kind of thing but put more extravagant things such as an ice cream machine on his list)

it depends how much secondhand you get get for the item. If it’s only worth a fraction of the original retail price on eBay then keep it, as to sell it would cause a lot of pain for not much gain! If you can recoup quite a lot of money then speak to your partner about selling it to buy something you can both enjoy.

Did we find out what the gift was ????

Why don’t you ask them to take it back and give you the cash.
They know you don’t like it already

Ask your DP to return it? Explain it's a lovely thought but you're just not using it. Assume you don't live with the DP as otherwise a) it'd be obvious you're not using it and b)he'd know you need the money more.

Also, I think it is really fucking weird to be so coy about saying what it is.

If the giver is anyone other than your partner, give the gift back to them and let them keep it, pass it on, return it if they can, or sell it. It would be wrong for you to profit from selling the gift.

If the giver is your partner, have a proper conversation about why you need the money more than you need the gift and then make an agreement to talk to each other before making any purchases over a certain amount in the future. Even gifts.

So far I've gathered that it is from DP and it is an expensive item that is 'used' (exercise equip, kitchen tool, hoover, etc) rather than something that is not 'used' (artwork, jewelry, decor item etc).

If I'm right, I'd just leave it lying around gathering dust for awhile where he will see it, like up on a top shelf or in a corner with things strung all over it. Let him notice it and mention you aren't using it. Then raise the issue of selling it.

Personally I feel once a gift is given it is the receiver's to do as they please. But if they didn't like it I'd rather they return it to me to (hopefully) get my money back then I could buy them something they'd like and possibly 'keep the change'.

This is one of the reasons I'm in favour of 'gift lists'. I'd rather know what someone wants and buy them it than try to figure out the 'right thing'.

I bought my mum an expensive gift once. Found out later she sold it on eBay for a quarter of what I paid, without ever using it. Damn right I was annoyed. If she’d just been honest I could have taken it back and got her something else. I’m not happy my money was wasted in that way. But lesson learned, I never bought her anything expensive again.

Depending on who purchased the gift for you could you sit them down and explain that you are not using X but with the money would purchase Y and use it regularly?

It's a merry-go-round and it's taking up room in the garden that could be used by that life-sized gold resin statue of Cliff Richard.

i think if you're able to have a gentle conversation explaining how much you love the thought behind the gift but you will never use it but you can sell for not much of a loss, how would they feel? That should work if the person is reasonable.
I'm sorry I haven't read the full thread because I became irritated by the demands to know what it was

I think it's quite patronising and a bit arrogant for someone to give a very expensive gift without actually doing their homework first.
Is it something that is wanted, yearned after, mentioned?
Otherwise it's a bit of a stab in the dark, and he person gifting may see themselves as bountiful and magnanimous, give themselves a pat on the back for being so generous.
But if it is a present fail then it hasn't worked has it.
The only thing it has done is make the gifter feel good about themselves- and carefully chosen gifts are not about that.
Thinking about gifts that someone actually wants or likes will give pleasure- and that isn't often about money.

So I would have no qualms in selling such an item.

What s boring thread. I think the aim if OP is to annoy people with the 'suspense' of what the gift us.

Whatever it is, just give it back. They'll be more upset if you sell it and friendship may not survive. Or maybe OP prefers money to the friendship 🤔? It's a gamble.

@linsey2581

Did we find out what the gift was ????

Solid gold vibrator

Definitely sell it on to someone who would appreciate it.
If it comes up you can tell the giver how kind and generous their gift was but it just didn't fit into your life.

I'm guessing peleton

Ive only read your posts OP so please forgive me if Im repeating what others have said. Firstly I was going to ask if it
Was a peleton but I see You have addressed that!

Personally I think as you have come kn here to ask I think you perhaps feel deep down that you can’t sell it. I totally get that is frustrating and it then becomes less of a gift and more of a millstone. But I’m not sure it would be worth the upset or ill feeling it might cause with DP. Maybe as time goes on he will see the benefit of selling it. Obviously if it’s something that depreciates then that’s a different story.

Sorry, not really helpful but I wanted to post as I really feel it’s a situation I would find myself in, wanting to do the tight thing!

I sell and give away gifts all the time as I hate clutter and waste. But no one ever knows as they are not very expensive or conspicuous. I just gave away a cheese making kit on Olio.

The only person who would notice would be my partner and I would hope a) he wouldn't be buying me such an expensive gift without consultation as we could use that money for something useful/better and b) he would be amenable to me selling it if he hadn't consulted me in the first place and it wasn't going to get any use. There's no point buying people expensive gifts if you aren't 100% sure they want them and the buyer either needs to stop doing it or to accept that the gift may end up somewhere else.

I feel for you OP. If the money would be useful and the items isn't something you want it makes sense to me. I'm not sentimental about things, I think you might be the same, but if your DH is like mine "things" matter. I have suffered this in the past but now many years on we have a deal that if we have the money and want something we buy it. Presents are funny/small/thoughtful things. Doesn't help you now but maybe a suggestion for the future.

By the way I don't think it matters what it is, if it's gathering dust it would be better off with someone who'd love it.

Can you not say exactly what you have said here to the person who gave it to you? That it’s not being used and not going to be used, so although you appreciate the thought, the money from selling it would be so much more useful to you.

Tell DP you aren’t/won’t use it, please can you have the money instead. Easy.

It is irrelevant what the gift is. Whoever it was that gave it to you would be upset if you sold it. So if you don’t want it, give it back to them for them to dispose of as they wish and thank them for the thought. Anything else would be very poor manners (thought returning it like this would be also be poor manners but you seem determined to be rid of whatever it is).