My DH believes the vaccine will result in mass genocide

[IrisTee]

Im at my wits end. It's all he talks about.

He believes that covid has been over dramatised, masks are a waste of time and that the vaccine is going to kill millions of people over the next few years. He thinks it's a "depopulation" exercise and a way to control the masses. He said if I take the vaccine he will leave me.

He's been buying "survivalist" gear such as tents/ shovels/ emergency matches/ god knows what else. There's numerous packages arriving at the house every day. He's spent over a thousand pounds on this stuff.

Aibu to just be sick of the whole bloody thing??? I want to talk about something else, something normal but it all just comes back to this. What would you do?

Poor mental health

Please believe me when I say, from significant personal experience, that your dh sounds like he has a major mental health issue. Please contact his GP as soon as possible. This won't get better on it's own, and could get worse.

This sounds very like how my husband was behaving before he slipped into his first psychosis. Ignore all the idiots telling you to leave him, but I'd contact a mental health advice line. If it is a psychosis developing, he may be in the prodromal phase. If you can persuade him to speak to a professional, then great. If not, you might have to wait it out until the illness develops further. If it is the start of psychosis, I mean.

Wantaweekinthesun

Me too.

Go to your GP discuss your concerns for his welfare and mental health
You can take him to A&E ask to see psychiatric liaison for an assessment
He sounds troubled and preoccupied. I hope you get support and he gets help he needs
If things deteriorate and there is risk call the police

The only bit I'd take issue with is him telling you what you must think/do. If you should accept his stance, he should accept yours. Live and let live.

Mh issues like this aren't particularly rational so live and let live really wouldn't feature

This is getting an unsympathetic reception in AIBU, I’d recommend move to mental health for a more sensible sensitive response

It's telling that there are so many stories of these beliefs being involved in psychotic episodes.

I do think he needs medical assessment/help but OP os not a miracle worker. Leaving even if temporarily may be the right choice and not idiotic, if the person is very deluded and could be dangerous. Even if they don't become dangerous, it's distressing especially for DC. It's possible to both leave and try to get him medical support.

Needapoodle, you are so right. I have a serious and complex mental illness and I think some of the language used her has been awful. People who have a mental illness are not nut jobs or mad they have genuine problems, it's an illness. Please think about the language used. This man clearly needs support from mental health professionals.

@fantasmasgoria1

Needapoodle, you are so right. I have a serious and complex mental illness and I think some of the language used her has been awful. People who have a mental illness are not nut jobs or mad they have genuine problems, it's an illness. Please think about the language used. This man clearly needs support from mental health professionals.

Absolutely agree 1in 4 of us at sometime will experience mental health distress. This isn’t random unknowns it’s our brothers,sisters,mums,dads,kids Words matter and it’s appalling to see pejorative terms used

Op should try and get him some help. But its Incredibly difficult to get someone on this path to admit they need it.

And at some point these people can become dangerous to those around them. I know, because I had to flee my home, from similar circumstances with 2 kids. Because it was unsafe for any of us.

My exh doesn't even know where I and the kids live. People with mental health problems should be helped. But sometimes leaving is the only safe option.

And the only option to save your own mental health. My son and daughter both developed bad anxiety and I was diagnosed with PTSD, due to goings on of living with a man like ops dh and trying to help him. Thankfully my kids anxiety is now well managed. Exh still tries to manipulate dd (17) still trying to dictate what we can and can't do. And if I block him, he causes all sorts of issues for my family.

So yes, I have sympathy for people with mental health problems. But my sympathy stopped for exh when he was destroying mine and my kids mental health and became a danger. If people won't go get help themselves, there isn't much family can do and leaving is the best option for everyone else.

If ops husband is willing to admit he is might be wrong and needs help, then fair enough. But staying until it destroys the rest of the family isn't the right thing.

Why would he threaten to leave you if you have the vaccine? If what he says is true and it kills people, then he will have no one to leave.

@Awalkintime thread has moved on,her dh has poor mental health and aibu is the wrong place for a sensible discussion

@Whiskycav I totally agree with you. The OP should not be guilted into staying whether her dh is ill or not. Why is his happiness & well-being more important than hers?

It may be a harsh thing to say (especially to those who have had problems themselves) but living with someone with mental health issues is not easy, and more so if they won’t agree to get help.

Well, I too think that the Covid crisis has been exaggerated

I will take a huge guess here you're not a Nurse are you? Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion but when you've seen what my colleagues have had to put up over the last year and watched people die without their family with them....well then I find views like yours disgusting really.

[quote Decorhate]@Whiskycav I totally agree with you. The OP should not be guilted into staying whether her dh is ill or not. Why is his happiness & well-being more important than hers?

It may be a harsh thing to say (especially to those who have had problems themselves) but living with someone with mental health issues is not easy, and more so if they won’t agree to get help.[/quote]
I think after this long relationship people shouldn't just abandon unless their own issues make it impossible. You try to help. If it doesn't work, you leave to save yourself.

And the only option to save your own mental health. My son and daughter both developed bad anxiety and I was diagnosed with PTSD, due to goings on of living with a man like ops dh and trying to help him.

Me and my ds both have ptsd as a result of his dad/my ex's severe mental illness.

You and your children need to be safe and secure.

Take the vaccine and let him leave.

Two problems solved,

@IrisTee

I think he could use some professional help too, he was never like this before. The problem is he genuinely 100% believes that he is in the right. I don't know how I'd ever get him to even consider that he might not be.

Then I'd leave him

I've experienced this with some friends that like organic food, herbal remedies and crystals. Lovely people - would help each other out in a second, really good friends. Such gentle, lovely people.

However! When they start this shit I just ignore it. I'll even go and play with the dogs or clean up or go and buy cigs... anything to ignore it. They've spent thousands on 'prepping'. Special blankets, weapons (legal here) food stuff, vitamins....

I think its like a mass mental illness like what Hitler did or something. I don't know how I'd cope with if it was someone that lived in my house but I just wanted to say that loads of really lovely, good people are acting like this and so your partner isn't horrible or unusual. Its just a horrible thing that's going around.

If its true then I have people to team up with. My husband is also obsessed with self sufficiency but he likes solar panels and digging wells - he has no conspiracy issues. So I think we'll face the apocalypse in fine style!

I suspect it's not true and we'll just keep living here with nice food, cheap leccy and water.

What does his parents think of his extreme views?

@Wantaweekinthesun Why do you call those encouraging the OP to leave "idiots?" Do you not think it's possible he could become violent if he's as delusional he sounds? I had to get my teenage son committed for acute psychoses as he was violent after not sleeping for two weeks. He was diagnosed with mood disorder and after three months stabilized. I don't mean this post as argumentative just curious especially with your experience with your loved one

Why don't you get the vaccine on the way home from work. or "go to the shops" and get it, without telling him?

He does sound like he needs help though, he is genuinely unwell with the sounds of it, and needs professional treatment.

I just wanted to say that loads of really lovely, good people are acting like this and so your partner isn't horrible or unusual. Its just a horrible thing that's going around.

Lovely people don't threaten to leave their wives if they choose to have the vaccine.

@IrisTee

Protect - I wish he could too. He says that the hospitals are not overwhelmed/ that they never were and the govt. is lying to us.

Do you have anything specific you could recommend?

yes. get the vaccine without mentioning it. Do you have children or own the house together? Raise your concerns with his gp. And time to part from him if he doesn't seek help. He may be mentally ill or just gone down conspiracy theory hole. Just the same as getting into neo nazi style stuff. Its his choice in the absence of any mental health issue.

@IrisTee

Th - this is the first time. He's always been very rational and to the point. This is very out of character. I wish I'd seen it coming sooner. It was like a flick switched and that was that. Nothing else could be done or said against it.

The social media thing is interesting too - he has deleted everything. He actively seeks out these videos on YouTube and wherever else. It scares me.

sorry I also meant to say 'accidentally' cut the internet off and lose his phone. As for the 'mental illness' stuff - definitely phone the gp but the issue is he is allowed to hold outrageous opinions, sounds like he won't believe anything they say to him if he even talked to them, so won't take advice or meds or counselling is my guess. There leaves the option to have him sectioned (S.12 MHA?) I suspect its a high bar. Some of this stuff sounds akin to a cult. Needs deprogramming. If no luck with gp, and you dont want to leave him, maybe see cult deprogrammers have any advice.