My DH believes the vaccine will result in mass genocide

[IrisTee]

Im at my wits end. It's all he talks about.

He believes that covid has been over dramatised, masks are a waste of time and that the vaccine is going to kill millions of people over the next few years. He thinks it's a "depopulation" exercise and a way to control the masses. He said if I take the vaccine he will leave me.

He's been buying "survivalist" gear such as tents/ shovels/ emergency matches/ god knows what else. There's numerous packages arriving at the house every day. He's spent over a thousand pounds on this stuff.

Aibu to just be sick of the whole bloody thing??? I want to talk about something else, something normal but it all just comes back to this. What would you do?

@RandomLondoner

While beliefs the majority regard as delusional can be a symptom of something, they're surely more likely to simply be an alternative belief system. It makes as much sense to treat him as mentally ill as it would to treat a fervent Christian or Muslim that way. (Or in a society where nearly everyone is religious, an obstinate atheist.)

Couldn’t agree more , reading through this thread is scarier than some of the conspiracy theories. OPs’ DH may or may not be showing signs of stress, but we’re in dangerous territory when anyone whose thoughts and opinions don’t conform to those of the majority are silenced by being labeled mentally ill and paranoid, as well as possibly being forced into unwarranted ‘treatment’ (1984 anyone.....) Certainly OP’s DH should not be insisting that she conforms to his thinking and if I were her I would quietly trot off to be vaccinated if that was what I wanted (my mother happily supported my fathers’ alliance with one of the main political parties, even to the extent of leafleting with him. All the while she was quietly voting for the opposition 😂) Perhaps a better tactic would be to thoroughly research the subject from both sides and present him with the hard, 100% factual evidence, if indeed it is there to be found. As an aside (and as I’m putting my coat on 😉) Bill Gates father really was an eugenicist......

Sorry why would that not help the OP? It’s facts and worth considering

Just leave. He can’t be helped because he doesn’t want it.

I have a friend who believes all the anti vaxx stuff - I just assumed she was arsey rather than psychotic.

@Glitteryone

Someone said this to you in response to you mentioning the two people who sadly died.

Absolutely every medicine has a possibility of killing someone who reacts badly. So has food though.

Can you see that?

Any chance you could get him sectioned?
...but seriously, he's forgotten an "entrenching tool ", handy for rapidly digging yourself in, and doing in zombies!

I'm sorry I have no expert help to give.
I did go through something similar with my husband (not to this extreme) but he held alot of the same views as your husband.

I kept tripping him up: when he said social media were a problem I asked what source was he using? (His phone...like everyone else) when he showed me an article written by a doctor on the reasons why you shouldn't have the vaccine...I researched the doctor (holistic 🙄 holds no medical status and has several law suits against her losing 1 so far)
Showed me an article from a scientist who worked for phizer on why you shouldn't have the vaccine...researched the scientist (hasn't worked for phizer in 7/8 years and has nothing to do with the vaccine)
When he accused Bill Gates of wanting to depopulation the world, after hearing one of his speeches....I watched the speech and pointed out he was very clearly discussing people who have not even been born yet (better contraception for women in third world countries) he was advocating for better health care to help with unwanted pregnancies.

In the end we actually stopped talking and in the end I was getting ready to leave as I had lost a lot of respect for him...I asked him straight up "What are you doing to protect your family during this world wide pandemic"????? "Nothing". Was the answer...
Later that night he text me to book him in for the vaccine (not that he fully agreed, but it shocked him when he heard the word nothing) just before , ,I had pointed out that if anything happened to me he and the kids would get a death in service payout as well as life insurance and i had the vaccine to minimise illness and spread to protect them not me.

He didn't know if insurance would pay out for covid if he was to be seriously ill (long covid/death being out of work if he didn't have the vaccine.

It was a horrible time but we are over it now, he no longer talks about conspiracy theories, although I am sure he still agrees with some, it no longer infringes our lives.

I really do wish you all the best and hope you can find the husband you know and love again, take all the help and support you can x

Ignore the people telling you to leave! His in crisis and you’ve been together for years, I’m sure you wouldn’t want him to walk out if you was having a melt down.

This sounds like a mental health issue, when my mental health was bad, I once misplaced an important piece of paper, I was utterly convinced in every sense of the word that someone from the government from Manchester (I live in London) had driven down to my house (who wouldn’t have keys) came and took this paper because they knew it was evidence against them. Totally believed it happened, all whilst I was in the house.
Poor mental health means just that, it’s shot to bits. He should see a doctor first and they will refer him.

There is a difference between people being worried about the vaccine and taking the time to teams up on scientific info before making an informed decision not to have it, and some of the beliefs held by the OP’s husband.

@harverina

There is a difference between people being worried about the vaccine and taking the time to teams up on scientific info before making an informed decision not to have it, and some of the beliefs held by the OP’s husband.

Read up 🙄

He's perhaps suggestible, the pandemic made him psychologically vulnerable and the videos groomed him and isolated him from you and his friends 😔. I wouldn't directly challenge his obsessions (no point) (but go get the vaccine just don't tell him, or tell him you will if you wish to but you won't be talking to him about it). Then I would say 'I'm worried about you, you seem like things are not ok. I would like us to have some time together away from the news and those videos, just thinking about your wellbeing and ourselves (a chance to undo the grooming - remove the influence and reconnect but don't challenge the views). Or ask him if he will see the GP with you - email or ring them in advance to give them the whole picture - they can't talk to you about it but they will take on board the information. You sound caring.

Of course people can have different opinions, but it's a sliding scale isn't it? Extreme beliefs that induce a cult-like mentality, make you spend £££ on survival gear and make you threaten to leave your partner if they make a perfectly normal and mainstream decision are in the realms of possibly being either unwell, or indoctrinated (or both).

It's clearly illogical as the virus itself is killing millions and affecting the poor, sick, old and non-white disproportionately badly, so why doesn't he see that as the evil plot?

I think this phenomenon is partly to do with a certain type of person needing a sense of certainty and to be unquestionably right, in a way that bumbling and inconsistent attempts at controlling the pandemic, and even the best science come to that, cannot ever provide. The desire to be the special person who can see through what we are all told to think. The irony being they've been told to think it by people far dodgier and less qualified even that our own government.

Of course he COULD be right, as could all kinds of other cults and their beliefs - but they tend not to be.

I'd also be saying "OK, I'll take the vacc as that's my choice, you leave me if you see fit". You can always recover things subsequently if he comes through this. Presumably there will probably come a point where he notices everyone hasn't died of the vaccine (if he's not right)

Also get him to do a normal routine, exercise, walk, eat well, watch comedy, do something productive every day, divert attention elsewhere (good for mental health). Recruit his old friend to help? But not challenge, just don't engage with the subject of the obsession.

Don’t you think there is a difference between experiencing paranoia and being irrational, and being anti vaccine though? There will be legitimate scientific information outlining the risks associated with vaccines. I can respect people who read these and make what they view as being an informed decision. This is very different to buying a tent because you somehow believe you will need it to survive?

The reason that this behaviour is presenting itself as delusional - is because (according to the OP) completely different to his 'normal' character and behaviour. Yes of course it is not appropriate to label everyone who disagrees with you as crazy - but you need to look at the way he is behaving in context.
If OPs DH has always held anti-establishment views, had a character that regarded authority with cynacism then perhaps this recent 'bee in the bonnett' isn't that bizarre - but if it is completely out of character and the paranoia is increasing daily, then I would be extremely worried OP. From what you have described I read that he is having a pschotic episode and is in a highly unpredictable place. You need to protect yourself and children. Get out and leave him alone. Go stay with a relative for a few days.
Meanwhile, call your GP and tell him what you have told us here. Hopefully they will notice the signs and get him evaluated.
If he is well but simply a bit bonkers about his views then no harm done. If he is unwell, he will need medication.

My sister did this. Ended up with her calling the police because of the sheer number of 'Ninja Monks' staring through her bedroom window. ..telling her that Covid was coming to get her unless she took my DN to 'the forest'. All very amusing if you consider they live in Croydon, which suffers a dearth of both Ninja Monks and Forest. The reality was that she needed medication for psychosis, psychiatric in-patient stay and was actually very unwell for several weeks.

DO NOT ARGUE WITH HIM - at least until you know wether this is simply a firmly held POV or a serious mental illness reaching crisis point.

See the funny side? Ask him to set up the tent in the garden and send him out there for the night. Then ask him what the survival cuisine will be, so you can both start practising the post-apocalyptic menu. Squirrels beware.

I do actually agree with your DH though, particularly about the depopulation.

Before anyone starts on, I've complied with all state coercion so far, and am having the vaccine next week and so are my teens, as the country we live in has decided we're going to die jobless and/or from boredom if we refuse.

@hels1987

You have my sympathy. I could have wrote this exactly but about my Dad. Dad is convinced everyone who has had the jab will be dead within two years and won't go near anyone he knows has had it because he believes they are shedding spike proteins and a danger to him. Dad has also taken all of his money out of the bank because he believes it is going to be stolen by the elite who have concocted Covid for some far fetched reason and deregistered from his GP as he believes all the doctors etc are murderers. I am an only child and I am at my wits end. I feel like lockdown has broken him on top of losing my step mum a few years ago and I have no idea what to do because he refuses to accept he may be wrong.

Yet people here will tell you that it’s just a difference of opinion.

I’m so sorry you are going through this 😞

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had very similar with my DP a few years ago. The massive warning signs were when he went for 2 days without sleeping, his mind was racing and he genuinely believed he was being tracked, He broke down and said he didn’t know his own mind anymore and he needed help. He ended up going to the GP and was referred to the mental health team who suspected psychosis, but weren’t sure. He eventually managed to get himself better, though it was really hard. He believes now looking back that it was anxiety. Sending hugs to you and I hope he comes round quickly.

The news is full of today's rally - they called for doctors and nurses to be hung, and then it descended into 5G chanting and something about streetlamps being evil.

A responsible government might try and come up with a way of tackling them as an extremist group, but instead the health secretary just said people should not 'cower' from Covid - the language of the anti-vaxx movement.

A psychotic episode can be a very dangerous period to live through. Especially for the sufferer and the nearest and dearest. It can often be a slow burn of 'odd' behaviour. My sister started with random people 'looking at her' in the wrong way. Moved on (over a period of weeks) to auditory halucinations, (accusing random family members of talking about her) moved on to obession about the noises the neighbours were making. (They are like church mice and really really kind) ... until she was in such a state that she would have seriously assaulted anyone coming near her, in order to save her own life. It is utterly terrifying to watch and we all blamed ourselves because we just thought she was a bit of a conspiracy theorist, when in fact the stress of months of homeschooling had taken its toll and she was extremely mentally unwell

I was thinking you could point out that the queen etc also had the jab so are they on the dead pool? However he would probably say they just had a placebo.

Surely though if they wanted population control a virus which kills the weakest would be the way to go. What would be the point of a vaccine in this case?

@IrisTee

I think he could use some professional help too, he was never like this before. The problem is he genuinely 100% believes that he is in the right. I don't know how I'd ever get him to even consider that he might not be.

It's up to him isn't it. The only bit I'd take issue with is him telling you what you must think/do. If you should accept his stance, he should accept yours. Live and let live.

O my goodness this sounds so much like my situation. I honestly believe my OH has been groomed by one friend but it has been awful during the last 18 months. He has been rude and disrespectful towards anyone who has a different view to him. Our poor kids are mortified and embarrassed, it is getting worse and worse and I am worn out with it all as a key worker. I am trying to leave him, his arrogant attitude has left me no choice although I am overwhelmed at the process.

The news is full of today's rally - they called for doctors and nurses to be hung, and then it descended into 5G chanting and something about streetlamps being evil.

I was sitting outside a sports bar in London when the march swung past us, the usual batch of professional crusties and other crack pots waving Palestinian and Cuban flags as well some very depressing signs. Some twat jumped in front of one of the big screens showing the game waving a flag and for showered with beer and told to fuck off.

He sounds unwell. Has he suffered from mental health in the past?