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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you think society judges the most about others?

203 replies

AnnaBellaCruella · 24/07/2021 17:36

Is it race, religion, status or lifestyle? In my experience it’s how one parents. What’s your experience?

OP posts:
Nicolastuffedone · 27/07/2021 06:27

Class
Manners
Behaviour

Doingtheboxerbeat · 27/07/2021 10:33

Lol at people who say they don't judge appearances - if you were lost and alone at night , do you go up to the bunch of men who are just randomly hanging around on a street corner and ask them for help? Do you?

Also, the classless ones need to live in a LA housing estate in the North with every other shop being a cash converter/ bookies and the only food shops are Iceland/farmfoods ,then you will figure out what class you belong to Grin.

igelkott2021 · 27/07/2021 11:08

@EspressoDoubleShot

You don’t have a class?no accent,no behavioural pattern,no demonstratble values. No consumer items?No house?no educational background? You’re accentless, with no discernible clues to educational attainment? You know what I don’t actually believe that you don’t have a class. Sure, you may not feel an affiliation to your background. You may feel misaligned to class group. However, the faux baffled what is”a class” it’s really disingenuous
No such thing as class, your status in life is all down to how much money you have/the capacity to earn lots of money.

I agree with the previous posters that people judge you first and foremost on appearance, which of course takes in skin colour and weight, and then clothes, tattoos, piercings etc.

Then they look at the type of car you drive to see if you're wealthy enough to associate with them.

igelkott2021 · 27/07/2021 11:11

I'm often puzzled by what people think they are NOT ALLOWED to do because of their class

It's a load of nonsense. Just because you are wealthy doesn't mean you have to like opera, and just because you work as a street sweeper doesn't mean you don't enjoy reading.

Your status comes from how much money you have. Rich people genuinely think they are somehow better than poor people.

pleasedonttextmyman · 27/07/2021 13:10

Rich people genuinely think they are somehow better than poor people.

and poor people have a massive chip on their shoulder? Hmm
How is that ridiculous generalisation working for you?

pleasedonttextmyman · 27/07/2021 13:11

Then they look at the type of car you drive to see if you're wealthy enough to associate with them.

only if you mean the aspirational upper working-class or lower middle-class

no one else gives a shit

Comedycook · 27/07/2021 13:16

Of course we all make judgements in our head based on how people look. That's completely normal and just human nature. How you treat people based on that judgement is a different matter

Cam2020 · 27/07/2021 13:16

Home owner vs renter, size of house.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 27/07/2021 13:37

@Comedycook

Of course we all make judgements in our head based on how people look. That's completely normal and just human nature. How you treat people based on that judgement is a different matter
Amen
1jan2020 · 27/07/2021 13:39

Appearance, 100%

lllllllllll · 27/07/2021 13:43

Why leave your parents with an empty room and pay somebody else's mortgage?

@CatsArePeople not all parents want their adult kids living at home indefinitely.

LST · 27/07/2021 13:49

On here everything is judged. It's ridiculous. I honestly think it's some parallel universe. I'd hate to live where some of you do on this thread if that's what you get judged on

Dontevenstart · 27/07/2021 13:50

Any single person who says they don’t judge based on appearance, unless physically unable to, is a bloody liar, or very self-unaware.
Everyone does it. Everyone. Accept it and move on.
It’s what you do with that assessment/judgment that says who you are.

LST · 27/07/2021 13:52

@Onlinedilema

I think men with tatooes and piercings are judged too. If I had a choice of approaching a stranger I would choose a man in a suit with clean, smart shoes, hair and a good looking over a heavily tatooed, pierced bald headed tracksuit wearing man any day. As humans we have to make snap decisions. Once you get to know someone this may change.
You can get pierced and tattooed men with hair that wear suits..FYI
SorryWoman · 27/07/2021 14:06

In the UK? Smoking. Even in some outdoor seating areas, you might as well be gearing up to do crack the way people look at you.
I wouldnt mind but I've never lived anywhere with such massively antisocial drinking habits so it strikes me as really weird. On the one hand a kind of pious intolerance and on the other a massive leniency towards some really horrible behaviour.

pleasedonttextmyman · 27/07/2021 14:11

You can get pierced and tattooed men with hair that wear suits..FYI

and don't get me started on Patrick Bateman Grin

SchrodingersImmigrant · 27/07/2021 14:19

That tattoo post is such a great example of juging🙈

SchrodingersImmigrant · 27/07/2021 14:20

How about him? 😁

To ask what you think society judges the most about others?
CatsArePeople · 27/07/2021 15:50

I do judge tattoos, especially on men. Nothing screams "Loser" more than cartoon/videogame themed tattoos.

HintofVintagePink · 27/07/2021 16:00

Visual - Appearance and ‘polish’

Non-visual - Accent.

Rinoachicken · 27/07/2021 16:01

This thread has reminded me of this song!

If my father were a chancellor,
How easy it would be:
The lovely Lady Caroline
Would be a proper wife, you see.
But my father was a servant,
And my mother same as he,
So the lady of my choosing
Is a world away from me.
That's how it is and how it was
And how it always shall be.

Position and positioning
Are socially conditioning.
How you're born, how you're bred
Predetermine who you wed,
Which means there's nothing changeable,
Nothing's rearrangable;
Position and positioning are everything in life.

Farmer's daughters marry cowherds --
That's acceptable and right.
But absurd and quite unheard of
Is a milkmaid and a knight.

I quite agree.
He quite agrees.
She quite agrees.
That's how it always shall be.

Position and positioning
Are socially conditioning.
People high, people low
Keep the state of status quo,
Which means there's nothing changeable,
Nothing's rearrangable;
Position and positioning are everything in life.

When a lad first joins the army,
This is what he learns for starters:
Never court your colonel's daughter,
Or he'll have your guts for garters!
That's how it is and how it was
And how it always shall be.

For position and positioning
Are socially conditioning.
How you dress and hold your head
Predetermine who you wed,
Which means there's nothing changeable,
Nothing's rearrangable;
Position and positioning are everything in life.

All the servants in a castle,
They reflect the world outside --
They have rank and they have station
And adhere to them with pride.
All the staff that work below stairs
May have dreams to work above,
But they're locked in their positions by Tradition's iron glove.

That's how it is?
And how it was
And how it always shall be.

We know our place and happily we bow and scrape and bend our knee,
But woe betide the woe begone
Who try to join our echelon,
For privelege is not, you see,
Confined to just the royalty.
Behind these doors, I might suggest, I'm similarly blessed.

Yes, position and positioning
Are socially conditioning.
Though you work your life away,
Where you start is where you stay,
Which means there's nothing changeable,
Nothing's rearrangable;
Position and positioning are stuck with you for life!

Position and positioning
Are socially conditioning.
Though you work your life away,
Where you work is where you stay,
Which means there's nothing changeable,
Nothing's rearrangable;
Position and positioning are everything in life!

Everything in life! Everything in life!
Life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life!

CorrieALanus · 27/07/2021 16:01

Intelligence
Smile
Decency
Humour

LST · 27/07/2021 16:07

@CatsArePeople

I do judge tattoos, especially on men. Nothing screams "Loser" more than cartoon/videogame themed tattoos.
I think judging someone on having tattoos makes you more of a loser than the person with tattoos
SlipperTripper · 27/07/2021 16:52

Don't know about society, but I judge people who smoke around children. And I'm a smoker.

Onlinedilema · 28/07/2021 07:01

The op asked a question, posters are answering it, why do many are getting worked up about it is funny.
It's human nature to judge, go with your gut, whatever. It's the only thing to base your actions on.
If you are offended then that's your issue.
I've said my piece and it doesn't change just because some random on here is upset.
I have a dress code where I work and in good with that. I expect it if others too.
Given a choice would I chose to eat in a restaurant with staff wearing dirty or revealing clothes, with dirty, unkempt hair and hand and facial tatooes? No. I 'd rather eat where the staff are clean where they wear appropriate clothing. I do not want to eat food prepared by a shirtless man for example.
As humans you don't know anything about a person or situation, you can only go with your gut and admittedly pre acquired judgements. Once you get to know a person your opinion of them may change. The heavily tatooed, pierced, hot pants wearing mother of 10 might turn out to be a fabulous friend and wonderful head teacher but until you get to know them you have nothing else to go on.