Is it ok for people to comment if you’ve put on weight?

[cooperbug]

Would you be offended if family members and other random people had commented that you had put on weight or asked if you were pregnant?

This has happened twice to me this week and I’m so angry and upset by it?

How would you respond?

I always put weight on my stomach which can make me look pregnant. I am childless not by choice. Being asked if I am is awful.

Over the years I have perfected the death stare and a cold “you know you’re asking a very personal question that some women could find very upsetting?” That usually shames the questioner into embarrassment and hopefully stops them ever asking anyone else.

It’s never ok to comment like that.

It would upset me but I would assume they were being truthful unless I was wearing something particularly unflattering.

It’s not acceptable to comment though!

Family members, depends on which family members and their approach. Randoms? Never.

I would say 'I'm not pregnant, just fat.' I'd quickly look them up and down and then say 'What about you?'.

I'm sorry you've had to put up with that crap. It's downright rude to comment on someone's weight.

No I don’t think it’s particularly helpful and wouldn’t ever ask anyone or even state they had put on weight

Mother in law to be precise!

Random we was a child’s grandmother at the school gates

No it’s very rude.

I had a smock style loose fitted dress on which I guess could have been mistaken for maternity wear and I do put weight on around my tummy. I’ve gained a stone over the last year which I’m not happy about but now i just feel so self conscious

Mother in law to be precise!

May I ask, does she have form for being insensitive or was this a one-off? Also, is there any chance that you were simply wearing an unflattering outfit?

Ooh, cross posted! One stone isn't a lot to gain really so I bet it was the dress.

A one off but she does speak before she thinks, I had my dressing gown on at the time!

Definitely not okay to comment. Do us all a favour and let them know it's not okay. "have you gained weight" should be as unacceptable to ask as "Have you aged a lot?" Really not their business, unless they are your modelling agent.

Asking if I'd put on weight would only be not rude if someone knew I had been trying hard to gain weight due to being underweight or wanting to increase muscle mass. Neither of those will probably ever apply to me so yes I would be annoyed.

Asking if someone is pregnant should always avoided - even if you are correct and the person is pregnant then they obviously aren't ready to disclose it otherwise they would have said so, if they are not pregnant it's either insulting with the suggestion they have gained weight or upsetting depending on the person's personal circumstances

It's funny because I always want to feel that any weight I put on isn't visible but I have recently lost over a stone and want everyone to notice that!

Yes Actually my husband told his mum that I was insulted by her comment and she has since apologised via text but twice in one with with it happening again today at school has given me a complex!

I just ignored the child’s grandmother today as felt like I was going to cry if I had spoken

No its not okay.

I was told l was fat and needed to lose weight 2hrs after my wedding.

I had only met my husband's family once ( arranged marriage) so didn't know anyone. His aunt told me that l was fat and should lose weight

Some people can't help themselves

Yes, I would be offended and very upset. I would never comment on somebodies figure/looks/clothes etc , unless it was to say something positive, I just don’t get why people say neg things to others unless it’s to make themselves feel better I guess.

I live in a country where people from
Far Eastern countries delight in telling you that “you’re so pretty, but so fat” or “you’ve got much fatter since I last saw you”. I’m used to it now 😂

It’s rude, but I’m also of the view that commenting on weight loss is rude too. Another person’s weight is not your concern.

@WhoDidAndWhy

It’s rude, but I’m also of the view that commenting on weight loss is rude too. Another person’s weight is not your concern.

Me too! I never comment on people's weight either way and I hate it when people comment on my body as it feels so judgy whether it's a loss or a gain, a compliment or an insult. It shouldn't be so important to anyone else that it needs commenting on.

I don't think it is acceptable to make personal comments .

It's so rude.

Yes it's fine to tell a friend or family member they've put on weight. Even random strangers felt it fine to tell me I was getting too thin when I lost weight. The reverse is no different. I'm sick of fat people wailing "don't fat shame me!"

Why do people get so upset about someone else's perception of them?