Weird WhatsApp parent behaviour or my social anxiety?

[IrisAnon]

DS 11yrs is meeting up with friends. This will be the first time he's done this I'm also going for a coffee so I can track him from a distance He's part of a close group of friends, but due to COVID, I haven't met any of the other parents. So I thought I would just create a little Whatsapp group to say 'hi' to the other parents, say I'd be tailing along at a distance and to check they'd also heard about the plans.

One very brief response and nothing else. Not even a 'hi there'.....nothing. One asked who this was (understandable - random invite), I intro'd myself and then nothing else.
Is that a bit unfriendly of the other 8 parents, or do I just have weird expectations? It's not like I'm expecting a big chat, just a wave or a 'sounds like fun' or something friendly. Our children are great friends with no drama. Seriously, I'm beginning to doubt that I know how to interact with people after lockdown!

Just to clarify, I had some of the other parent numbers from a birthday party group that took place just before lockdown, the rest from Classlist - so I thought combining them into a Whatsapp group was an easier way of communicating.
I don't think it's odd to put the numbers in a 'group' as the DS's are all in a close friendship group, but I take the point from you all that parents are fed up with more WApp groups. I thought it was useful to share numbers.

Also - AGAIN - I'm not intending to STALK other people's children FFS. I'm going to be at a distance and probably have a coffee in the area. So I think calling me some kind of child-stalking weirdo that would worry other parents is a bit far-fetched. This is my child's first trip out, so I'm taking that step to give more independence, but there's no way I'm going to drop and run.
When I say 'plan', I just wanted to check (in a friendly way) with other parents knew about the plan too. Again, it's a bit much to imply that I'm looking for a detailed plan of the afternoon. That would be weird.

WhatsApp groups are annoying especially when it is a group of strangers eg for a football club or something. People put the most mundane stuff on and everyone gets pinged and has to read it.
Pure life wasting stuff

I’m sure they all were initially weirded out and secondly groaning at the thought of yet another group

I would have replied.... because it’s polite. But I presume your son is at secondary school now? I don’t know many of my children’s friends parents, except the ones that were at primary with them, parents don’t tend to mix once at secondary. My kids had a phone by then so I’d just expect them to keep in touch with me, not involving other parents. You sound like a caring mum though and I think they were a bit rude to not even say hello, I’m sure they’ll be fine etc.

What are they going to do and does it need a plan!?

If I knew you from primary school or whatever I'd inwardly think you were acting very odd, comment to my child that you were the overprotective mum

If I didn't know other parents I would be actually quite pissed you put me in WhatsApp group sharing my number with others without asking me first

If I didn't know you I would think you were rude and a bit nuts and wouldn't reply

say 'hi' to the other parents - fine.

check they'd also heard about the plans - fine.

say I'd be tailing along at a distance - errr, what?

You sound like you have good intentions but that would strike me as weird and probably stop me responding. I might even think twice about my child going.

Everyone else trying to play it cool. No one wants to be the first to reply and everyone likes to pretend they are laid back.

Why ask?!

I'd think you were micro managing and an anxious parent if I got added to a WhatsApp group for that. I probably wouldn't respond either. I just let my kids play out and trust they'll be ok - but the park is very near

They’re probably a bit pissed off that you’re assuming their children need watching and that they’re being somewhat negligent by also not planning to follow their high school children...

People are rude OP - setting up a WhatsApp chat with other parents isn't exactly crime of the century is it

This is my child's first trip out, so I'm taking that step to give more independence, but there's no way I'm going to drop and run.

Just give the poor kid a cheap PAYGO phone and leave him alone.

You'll make him a laughing stock.

I’d have replied to say hi, and I don’t think it’s weird. I would think kindly of a parent who messaged me like that.

I’ve tween daughters and like to know where they are and who they’re with. My DD2 is just at that age where I’d let her to go the shopping centre with her friends for a few hours but I’d check in with her, and make sure she knew how to get home (the group might split up or disagree on what to do.) I wouldn’t see it as stalking or weird if another parent said ‘by the way, I’ll be nearby and can keep an eye out.’

Oh, I absolutely own being an overprotective parent. But then, this is about a first trip for an 11yr old child, not a 16yr old child.

@Waspsarearseholes

Sorry OP, you're the weird one here.

Agreed

What is the trip?!

@OliviaNewtAndJohn

I’d have replied to say hi, and I don’t think it’s weird. I would think kindly of a parent who messaged me like that.

I’ve tween daughters and like to know where they are and who they’re with. My DD2 is just at that age where I’d let her to go the shopping centre with her friends for a few hours but I’d check in with her, and make sure she knew how to get home (the group might split up or disagree on what to do.) I wouldn’t see it as stalking or weird if another parent said ‘by the way, I’ll be nearby and can keep an eye out.’

Thank you! 'Keep an eye out' is exactly what I mean. I don't think it's weird or stalk-y.

@Mangofandangoo

People are rude OP - setting up a WhatsApp chat with other parents isn't exactly crime of the century is it

I didn't think so!!!!

@Nicknacky

What is the trip?!

Into a big local town

A first trip? has he really never been anywhere without you?
He’s going to high school, cut the apron strings, you’re behaving as if he’s 5!

Going to bed now - thank you for your replies!

@HerMammy

A first trip? has he really never been anywhere without you? He’s going to high school, cut the apron strings, you’re behaving as if he’s 5!

First trip into a big town that he doesn't know well.

And you are going to follow them round the town?!

I would've responded and don't find this weird at all. I'd be glad one of the parents was keeping an eye on them if they're just venturing out alone.

I'm sorry, this is going to sound super harsh but I probably would have messaged the other parents privately to say I am not ok with this, who are you? Then maybe blocked you? Or possibly left a message saying "please don't follow my child, either drop your child off or it might be better for you to just go somewhere with them." And then left the group.