Weird WhatsApp parent behaviour or my social anxiety?

[IrisAnon]

DS 11yrs is meeting up with friends. This will be the first time he's done this I'm also going for a coffee so I can track him from a distance He's part of a close group of friends, but due to COVID, I haven't met any of the other parents. So I thought I would just create a little Whatsapp group to say 'hi' to the other parents, say I'd be tailing along at a distance and to check they'd also heard about the plans.

One very brief response and nothing else. Not even a 'hi there'.....nothing. One asked who this was (understandable - random invite), I intro'd myself and then nothing else.
Is that a bit unfriendly of the other 8 parents, or do I just have weird expectations? It's not like I'm expecting a big chat, just a wave or a 'sounds like fun' or something friendly. Our children are great friends with no drama. Seriously, I'm beginning to doubt that I know how to interact with people after lockdown!

@Northernlassie1974

Hugs OP, this has been a rather brutal thread and I'm honestly shocked at the replies...I'm clearly a deviant weirdo mum too! Honestly, the 'be kind movement clearly isn't alive and kicking on here!

I know you've updated about the actual trip, but, for what it's worth, I'd have absolutely replied, I'd have been relieved someone else is feeling nervous about it too! I don't suffer with anxiety, but I'd have felt it strange the ones didn't reply. Like you say, even if they said 'my child has had lots of trips out alone and I'm not concerned at all' Even those who may think it 'weird' (it really isnt) should have given a courteous reply!!!!
Responses on here never fail to shock me! My daughter is 10.5, she's been around the block with me watching and has walked to friends which is literally a minute away. Her school is 9n our road and she's only walked home on a pre arranged day with friends and when I've been home to know that's she's got home. Yes, I probably need to chill out and I am getting there gradually. I will absolutely be within the vacinity on her first trip to town and making sure I know who she is going with etc.

Anyway, I'd have replied OP and thought it rude if others didn't x

Total deviant here too, as are the couple of dozen parents of my kids friends.

I have been added to various groupings of friends be it sports/school groups.

Never heard of anyone having a problem, conversely the parents were all pleased to have an easy way to connect and check arrangements.

The idea that you would think a caring parent wanting to be available to their child is a stalker would say so much about THAT
parent.

Fortunately without exception my children's friends have always been very available and interested to know the company they keep.

I recall a few years ago one of mine going to a 3 day festival and my husband visiting a family member for the two nights, just to be in the same city as our 18 year old.
There was a gang of 16 going and airbnb-ing.
Our child was delighted to know Dad would be in the city and 10 minutes away should he be needed and when I mentioned it to several of the other parents they were delighted.

This is very normal for some people.

I would have replied. I would be glad to have some contact with one of DC's new Secondary friend's parents . . . I've been surprised at how little other parents have seemed to want to know about me, I've had their kids at my house (even over-night), in my car etc I could be a raging psychopath intent on doing their kids harm. However I do think that if they're all together and in town during the day they are absolutely fine and do not need you to be anywhere near them. One of my DD's best friends has a helicopter parent and it's a right pain. They limit my child's independence and freedom as well as their own, because my DC is often with theirs. If my DC wants to go for a walk with their DC, the other parent might trail them . . . and it's really incredibly frustrating because it's very hard to ask them not to trail their own child however I don't want them trailing mine and making them feel awkward. If my DC has a plan to meet theirs and go into town in the bus the other parent will say that they will drop them off by car and then sit and wait for them in a coffee shop - so then my DC has to either do that or go in by herself.

Another prime example of how cunty mumsnetters can be.

If a number comes up that I don't recognise and I am not expecting a call from someone new, I probably wouldn't open the message. Perhaps that is what has happened.

I have to agree that it is a bit odd to "tail" children of that age. I can understand it with a much younger child on the first walk to school alone or with young friends but not at 11. Nevertheless, had I opened the message, I would have replied.

OK I’m going off on a tangent here but with the rising number of COVID cases I wouldn’t be happy for my son to hang out with six others, probably maskless…

I guess, judging from the responses such as @ellyeth that some parents let their kids out and about alone much, much earlier than others. For me, 11 (being the time they start secondary school) is the very start of independence.