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Original poster

DS got very drunk - punishment or not?

185 replies

slyfa · 22/07/2021 21:19

Posting here for traffic

My son is 15. In the past, he's had sips of alcohol but never enough for him to get drunk. Today, he went out with a couple friends and they went to a field. Sons friends said that a few boys about 16/17 that go to their school went up to DS and asked him if he wanted to drink with them, DS said yes and left his friends. When he went back to them they said he was acting drunk which they thought was funny but then he told them he didn't feel well and he threw up, he wouldn't let them have his phone to call me or DH so one of them texted DD. When I got there, he was laying on the grass, drooling and he’d also wet himself and his friends were next to him asking him if he was ok etc. They don't know what he drank as he wouldn't tell them.

When we got home, he went to bed and we've been checking on him. DH thinks that tomorrow, when he's sober we should give him a punishment for getting so drunk, but I'm not sure if we should as surely this would be enough to stop him from getting drunk again (well for a while at least!).

Would you give him a punishment this time or just leave it?

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 22/07/2021 21:20

I would have a discussion about getting really drunk especially in this heat.

StMarysKettle · 22/07/2021 21:21

I'd say his sore head will be enohgh punishment. I would have a serious talk with him about his actions and behaviour and how dangerous it is to get that drunk.

Then say if he ever does it again, to expect consequences

FrogFairy · 22/07/2021 21:21

Is it possible his drink got spiked?

CirqueDeMorgue · 22/07/2021 21:22

Agree with the idea of having a chat with him about the dangers. Poor kid wet himself, he's not going to be feeling amazing even without a punishment. His friends sound caring.

satci · 22/07/2021 21:23

He probably didn't even know he was getting drunk until it was too late. Give a harsh talking too but not a punishment as such.

DramaAlpaca · 22/07/2021 21:23

When my DS did almost exactly this at 15 we decided not to punish him. He was utterly mortified as he sobered up, had the hangover from hell next day and was too ill to see his friends. We decided that was punishment enough. He never did it again - at least not until he was over 18.

bettercalljimmy · 22/07/2021 21:23

he’ll never live that down Sad

CarryOnNurse20 · 22/07/2021 21:23

I would use it as a learning point (depending on how he is in the morning). If he’s sheepish and apologetic it’s a great opportunity to bond with a teen and talk through the risks/mixing drinks/safety and also to reassure him you will always come and pick him up no judgement and no questions asked (at the time!!) when he’s in trouble. I always knew this with my parents and it was such a good relationship compared to friends who were scared of their parents finding out about things.

JaneJeffer · 22/07/2021 21:23

I wouldn't punish him but I would have a chat about alcohol poisoning and the importance of contacting someone if either he or his friends are unwell.

Libertynan · 22/07/2021 21:25

No punishment is necessary imo

I’m sure h feels bad enough and will hopefully have learnt from it

All three of our DS have at one time been incredibly drunk. I don’t believe any of them did it more than once though ( yet)

Mammma91 · 22/07/2021 21:25

We’ve all been there OP 😂

My parents did punish me, because I couldn’t look after myself in that state and put myself at risk.
A stern talking to and no sympathy tomorrow when he’s hungover. I’d probably remove luxuries (no takeaway, no treat etc for a few days) and a warning. Definitely don’t give him cash. Hopefully this is a lesson learned on its own!

GrandmasCat · 22/07/2021 21:25

It would be interesting to hear what kind of stuff he was given. I doubt many kids that age would be willing to donate bottles and bottles of their illegally-acquired-expensive-for-them booze to get him into that state.

I would have a serious conversation about responsible drinking including the very evident risks of getting an adulterated or spiked drink as he may have experienced already.

Cameleongirl · 22/07/2021 21:26

I agree with PP''s about having a talk with him about the dangers and also explain to him what happened as he probably won't remember. He'll be mortified that he threw up and wet himself in front of his friends.

Hothammock · 22/07/2021 21:27

I suggest you make him do some jobs with his hangover. Then let him dwell on the whole experience without banging on about it... Then when he is recovered have the reflective discussion on what it was all like and safety etc. It's important for young people to learn they don't get special treatment or cossetted just because they have over indulged. The world continues moving.

nannynick · 22/07/2021 21:27

No but I would have a chat about why he did not stay with his friends and why when he needed help he did not tell them to contact you. Fortunately he got back to his friends, fortunately one of them was sensible enough to tell DD, who was then sensible enough to tell you. Go though some What Ifs... What If he had not gone back to his friends, would anyone have helped?

GrandmasCat · 22/07/2021 21:27

I agree, he would be so mortified he may be unlikely to repeat the experience.

LakieLady · 22/07/2021 21:28

I think the hangover and embarrassment at pissing himself will be punishment enough.

He'll have learned a valuable lesson imo, and doesn't need to be punished as well.

PurpleMustang · 22/07/2021 21:30

Depending on his attitude about it, hoping he is sheepish and apologetic, as others have said I would use it as a chance to talk about knowing his limits, the dangers, people could of took advantage of him. And to always ring to be collected. If he is all unapologetic and not wanting to listen to a chat the yep definitely a punishment

IknowThisIsRidiculous · 22/07/2021 21:30

I think he's punished himself sufficiently. He's going to get enough judgement from his friends that he may need you on his side.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 22/07/2021 21:30

I wouldn't be happy that he had left his actual friends to go and drink with people he doesn't know. I would be more annoyed about that than him getting drunk.

dottycat123 · 22/07/2021 21:32

I would suggest that he may have taken / been given drugs and I say that as a mental health liaison nurse who works in A&E.

poorfanjo · 22/07/2021 21:32

He weed himself in front of his friends I'd have thought that was enough.. he'll never live that down.

amelema · 22/07/2021 21:32

I wouldn't punish him...as someone that got into a similar state at his age I can tell you the punishment didn't work and the embarrassment and sore head was punishment enough. I would absolutely have a serious chat with him also about the danger of drinking so much especially with people he wasn't too familiar with and especially in this heat. I would also tell him that he must call you or his dad or allow his friends to if ever in a similar situation (hopefully won't be). I wouldn't punish him but I would probably check in with him a bit more whilst he's out until he'd earned my trust back.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/07/2021 21:32

You need to have some very serious discussions about the dangers of alcohol.

poorfanjo · 22/07/2021 21:33

I would however make him do jobs whilst hungover to hell which will probably be hell!