Aibu to think Dsis was not broke and shouldn't have accepted lunch!?

[everythingyouneed]

Long story short we were out for the morning...my dsis kept saying she wanted to get home for lunch time to feed the kids and wouldn't have lunch out as she was broke. Fair enough. Anyway timings went awry and we ended up in the middle of town at prime lunch time. I wanted lunch and so did my dc. Dsis said no she was going to get back to the car as she couldn't afford it. I said " oh come on I'll pay it's not a big deal!" So I bought lunch. All good. It was nice, all was eaten.

The very next day I rang my Dsis and as we were talking she said, my tyre got a puncture this morning so I'm in getting a new tyre as it can't be fixed. I said "oh dear are you ok for money?" She said "ah yeah I just transferred it out of the savings!

Aibu to think she could have done that the day before at lunch rather than letting me pay? I know I was happy to and I offered but I'm just a bit... now!!

Your sister told you repeatedly she didn't want to pay to eat out for lunch. YOU wanted lunch out, YOUR kids wanted lunch out. You should have respected that and not insisted you pay. Savings are for emergencies only, I agree with your sister. Eating lunch out is a luxury and the first thing to go when you are skint. Having savings is a buffer from debt, not from being broke, she is right to only use it for emergencies.

YABU. As said. Dipping into savings for essentials only is perfectly sensible and expected behaviour. Lunch with a sibling who can't get organised - not so much

YABU ! Of course it makes sense she has a savings account for emergencies. Lunch out doesn’t count as an emergency.

Agree with everyone else. She presumably has a budget for emergencies and a budget for luxuries. She's right not to dip in to the emergencies budget just because you are pushing her to stay out for lunch. She never asked you to pay for her lunch, you offered.

Cringing a bit for you op. I can’t believe you expected her to dip into her savings to pay for lunch.

Sounds like you insisted on lunch out when she was trying to economise because things are tight. So it's only right that you should pay really.
I have family members like this too, impossible to be sensible with money around them because they impose more expensive choices in others.

Don't think I have seen a highly unanimous YABU thread as this one for a while!

Broke to me is having zero or - in the bank. So I see where you are coming from. But her definition of broke is obviously just different from yours and it was an emergency purchase not something like lunch which is a luxury.

Op
I could never imagine penny pinching to this degree with any of my sisters.. she has savings for essentials but not luxuries . Don't ever offer to pay for anything again . You clearly resent it !

Yabu I'd use savings for emergencies but not lunch out

YABVU. She didn't have any spending money left. Savings are obviously separate and for specific purposes or emergencies, not frivolities. You offered, presumably because you wanted her to stay and have lunch with you.

If I dipped into my savings every time I fancied lunch out I wouldn't be able to replace my car tyre, or make any other emergency payments

Yabu.
Just before payday we do times may only have a tenner in the account after shopping etc.
So I'd say I'm 'broke :
But... We do have savings for things like car repairs or emergencies. Not a lot but wouldn't want to dip 20, 30 or whatever as and when I wanted lunch out.
We have Xmas savings too and never touch thay for bits and bobs because it would dwindle away.

* Your sister told you repeatedly she didn't want to pay to eat out for lunch. YOU wanted lunch out, YOUR kids wanted lunch out. You should have respected that and not insisted you pay. Savings are for emergencies only, I agree with your sister.*

^This

I somehow don’t think the OP will be coming back.

Yabu!

You're very unreasonable and petty as well!

Yabu I say that I'm broke when I don't have much money in my current account. I have a couple of thousand in savings but I wouldn't break in to that for lunch, I would for an emergency tire replacement. One is a treat and the other is an emergency.

@toocold54

Broke to me is having zero or - in the bank. So I see where you are coming from. But her definition of broke is obviously just different from yours and it was an emergency purchase not something like lunch which is a luxury.

How you define ‘broke’ isn’t really relevant. The OP pushed and pushed to go out for lunch (and to pay for it), even though her sister had originally specifically planned the day to avoid it. To then get stroppy because her sister had some savings and could theoretically paid for a lunch she never wanted is ridiculous, and frankly, tacky.

YABVU - you offered to pay for lunch, the ability of the other person to pay for their own doesn't matter at all. Don't offer if you don't want the offer to be accepted. People never cease to amaze me

Didn’t you feel a bit mean repeatedly mentioning lunch to someone who’d already made it clear they didn’t have the money to go?

There is a big difference between emergency savings for something like a tyre blowing and a more frivolous lunch. Even as a student massively my overdraft, I had a different account of emergency savings that I didn’t touch for day to day spending. I’ve always been taught how important it is to have that security and psychologically treated it as not being there re day to say spending .

YABU

You offered to pay for her lunch; in fact it sounds as though you pressurised her into having lunch out when she didn’t really want to. So I don’t think she did anything wrong.