Aibu to think Dsis was not broke and shouldn't have accepted lunch!?

[everythingyouneed]

Long story short we were out for the morning...my dsis kept saying she wanted to get home for lunch time to feed the kids and wouldn't have lunch out as she was broke. Fair enough. Anyway timings went awry and we ended up in the middle of town at prime lunch time. I wanted lunch and so did my dc. Dsis said no she was going to get back to the car as she couldn't afford it. I said " oh come on I'll pay it's not a big deal!" So I bought lunch. All good. It was nice, all was eaten.

The very next day I rang my Dsis and as we were talking she said, my tyre got a puncture this morning so I'm in getting a new tyre as it can't be fixed. I said "oh dear are you ok for money?" She said "ah yeah I just transferred it out of the savings!

Aibu to think she could have done that the day before at lunch rather than letting me pay? I know I was happy to and I offered but I'm just a bit... now!!

[Whiskycav]

@Cloudninenine

Ah fuck, I’ll be so annoyed if it’s a reverse. Even if I’ve previously agreed with the party that turns out to be the OP, I’m instantly not on their side any more because reverses are manipulative and annoying and cowardly.

Me too.

But to be fair, I think that's because the op of reverses are still telling their own side of a story. So I just think the op isn't telling anywhere near the actual truth.

[Antwerpen]

@Rover83

If you didn't want to pay for lunch you shouldn't have offered. I think there is a huge difference to not feeling up to affording lunch out and having to transfer money to pay for a tyre

This

Don’t be such a Grinch OP

[Abraxan]

New tyre is an essential, lunch out isn't.
She used savings for an essential repair; surely you wouldn't expect her to use the savings in order to be able to afford lunch out or consider the two spends as even vaguely similar?

[PurpleWaterBlue]

I currently have £1,500 in my savings account.

I am not spending one pence of it because some fucker else wants lunch out.

It's savings, not a slush fund for other people's frivolous wants.

[lastcall]

YABU

[Whiskycav]

Bet this is all of a sudden 'causing problems in RL' and goes Poof!

[Pebbledashery]

I'm emotionally invested now.. Don't do it op..

[Howcanthisbe123]

Yabu

Broke means can’t afford to spend money on lunch. Doesn’t mean can’t dip into savings which are there for emergencies. Lunch is not an emergency.

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

YAB very very U

As everyone else has said, she paid for the tyre out of savings. Savings are not for buying lunch out.

Just out of interest, before you brought lunch for your sister today, when was the last time you brought her lunch?

[saraclara]

She soounds really sensible.

My emergency savings never factored into a decision I made when times were really tough. If I had no money in my current account, I was skint/broke/slang term of your choice. Because I didn't let myself think that the emergency money was an option. I made myself forget that it existed most of the time.

If I really wanted someone to stay out and have lunch with me, I absolutely would not want them to dip into their emergency savings for it, and would pay for them.

Your suggestion that she say "I don't want to pay for a lunch out" is ridiculous. It would make her sound tight, and as if she didn't want your company (or worse, wants you to pay for her). I wouldn't dream of saying that in her position.

[Jasmine11]

I would just say I don't want to pay for a lunch out.

But she did say that OP, and you insisted on paying for her.

[NavigationCentral]

Hi OP.

Emergency savings are for when the family car breaks.

Emergency savings are not for meals out that one has specifically asked to not have to have.

HTH.

[Ifitquacks]

I’m more perplexed as to why you think your sister would spend her savings on a meal that she explicitly said she didn’t want? That would be pretty insane.

[Ninkanink]

@NavigationCentral

Hi OP.

Emergency savings are for when the family car breaks.

Emergency savings are not for meals out that one has specifically asked to not have to have.

HTH.

This.

[buckingmad]

But that’s what savings are for? Emergencies like a puncture, not lunch.

I have savings that are in ISAs. If I ran out of money in my current account I would say I was broke and not want to buy lunch in town if I knew I had lunch at home. But would still have money to pay a vet bill, car repair etc.

Don’t offer to pay for lunch if there are conditions and strings attached.

[ScrollingLeaves]

I was someone who did not have much income but spent up to the last penny of what I had. When I heard other people say they couldn’t afford things, when I knew they had savings, I used to feel annoyed.

Now as time has gone on I realise how immature I was in thinking that way.

I am not saying you are like I was OP, but zi think it is understandable that your DS felt she could only use those savings for an emergency but not lunch.

It would be a bit mean IMO though if she doesn’t invite you out for lunch as a return favour one day not too far in the future.

[melj1213]

YABU - going out for lunch is not an essential, car tyres are.

I am broke - there is money in my current account but that is all carefully budgeted to get me through the month.

I have pretty much no savings rn as, due to covid, the meagre amount of savings I had managed to get together was used up during the last year as my hours were cut and my existing debt (which was manageable on my usual wages) became a bigger issue and I had to use those savings and I'm nowhere near in the position to start building them up again yet.

If my sister invited me out for lunch I would tell her I could not afford it because I can't - I physically have the money in my account but I need that money for other priorities like bills and rent and groceries and if I use if for lunch out then I have to cut back elsewhere. If she insisted on paying, even after I had told her I was happy to go home as I was not going to pay to go out to lunch, then I would treat it as a gift and would not be expecting her to hold it over me forever more and if she did then I would not be doing anything with her again.

I don't drive but if I did, or if something equivalent broke at home eg my fridge or washing machine, then getting the tyres/fridge/washer fixed or replaced would be a priority as it is something I need on a daily basis. When I had savings I would have used them but now I would have to put it on my credit card because I wouldn't have a choice but to do that as I could not function without the item.

[Therealjudgejudy]

Yabu.

You also come across as extremely petty.

[Eviethyme]

Yabvu for all the reasons previous posters have said

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

I'm too skint this weekend to go down the pub I have no "normal" money left. I have thousands in the savings account - it's for a bigger house not to piss up the wall.

I'm the first to finger point at a CF but YABU here I'm afraid

[crystaltips98]

Get over yourself. She didnt want to spend money on lunch. But she needed to spend money on the car. I would have been the same as her.

[SummerBreeze1980]

But if she always spent her savings on lunches out she wouldn't have been able to afford essentials like a tyre. Rainy day savings are for exactly that...not lunches out when you can eat at home!

[Planty13]

YABVU

[ivfbabymomma1]

What would you have said if she said she didn't want lunch not because she's skint but because she didn't want to use her emergency savings for that?

[Heyyeahyouwiththesadface]

YABVU