Aibu to think Dsis was not broke and shouldn't have accepted lunch!?

[everythingyouneed]

Long story short we were out for the morning...my dsis kept saying she wanted to get home for lunch time to feed the kids and wouldn't have lunch out as she was broke. Fair enough. Anyway timings went awry and we ended up in the middle of town at prime lunch time. I wanted lunch and so did my dc. Dsis said no she was going to get back to the car as she couldn't afford it. I said " oh come on I'll pay it's not a big deal!" So I bought lunch. All good. It was nice, all was eaten.

The very next day I rang my Dsis and as we were talking she said, my tyre got a puncture this morning so I'm in getting a new tyre as it can't be fixed. I said "oh dear are you ok for money?" She said "ah yeah I just transferred it out of the savings!

Aibu to think she could have done that the day before at lunch rather than letting me pay? I know I was happy to and I offered but I'm just a bit... now!!

Feels reversy to me. Surely it's obvious that someone might not want to spend money on lunch but will for an emergency. What if she'd spent the tire money on lunch, then what would she do?

Please don't be a reverse as I'm on team Dsis at the moment

You couldn't be more unreasonable if you tried.
She has savings for essentials (new tyres), not luxuries (lunch out).
Don't offer if you don't want to actually pay.

@tallduckandhandsome
The op’s sister wanted to go home for lunch. The op badgered her into having lunch in town.

Christ, if I kept dipping in to my emergency fund for things like lunch when I've got food at home, I'd be on the bare bones of my arse by now.

YABU.

YABVU

it sounds like she was willing to go home and eat lunch there.

You told her you'd pay and it wasn't a big deal.

That was mot true

Tyres were an emergency, necessary purchase. Lunch was not.

I know I was happy to and I offered

So what's the problem?

Yep YABU.

[quote nimbuscloud]@tallduckandhandsome
The op’s sister wanted to go home for lunch. The op badgered her into having lunch in town.[/quote]
I know, and of course the sister is entitled to do whatever she wants.

But OP is also entitled not to offer to pay again.

Yabu. She has savings for emergencies like needing new tyres.

You are being a dick.

How could she 'not accepted' it?

YABU. A tyre is an emergency. A casual unnecessary lunch is not.

Do you resent her having savings because you like to be able to bail her out? You insisted that you pay for her lunch and you leapt at the chance to pay for her tyre.

My sister often buys me lunch, she's lovely and it doesn't come with strings attached.

Ah sorry, just reread your OP and you didn't say you offered to pay for the tyre, you just asked if she had the money for it. By the same token though, in your OP your sister didn't use the word 'broke' she said she 'couldn't afford' lunch. Which she couldn't.

Yabu. She has savings for emergencies, not treats like lunches out. She didn’t pressure or guilt you into buying lunch, she had a clear alternative plan. You offered presumably because you can afford it and wanted to do something kind.

You did something nice - don’t backtrack on it and feel stroppy now because you think she could / should have used her savings on a treat.

When we had less money for general spending like frivolous lunches we still had savings. Savings are for things like car repairs and other emergency spends like if the washing machine breaks down. It sounds to me like OPs sister was being sensible - it’s not as if she asked OP to buy her lunch….

YABU she didn’t want to eat lunch out, she didn’t see it as a good use of her money you insisted. So what if she has savings. I use the term broke if I have run out of money for that money - I still have money in savings but I don’t use that for non necessities.

Yabu

I wouln't dip into a savings account to have an impromptu lunchout and it's because of that kind of budgeting I'd be able to afford an emergency new tyre. How it's all phrased is semantics.

Op, YABU. Your sister has a budget so she can save for extras like a new tyre.

You forced the issue of lunch. It was yours to pay for.

When I get paid, I pay bills and put money away in savings. If towards the end of the month, my 'fun' money has ran out, it's ran out. I would say I am skint.

My savings are not for little treats here and there. They are for things like my boiler breaking down, or car. Or eventually maybe a holiday

Lunch out is not something I would choose to spend my savings on.

You offered to pay. If she has no spare money she is, in her mind, Broke.

Non of this would have happened if you had just accepted she wanted to go home.....or accepted that you offered to pay for lunch and that's that.

Ah fuck, I’ll be so annoyed if it’s a reverse. Even if I’ve previously agreed with the party that turns out to be the OP, I’m instantly not on their side any more because reverses are manipulative and annoying and cowardly.

YABVU.

YOU OFFERED!!! She said multiple times she was going to have lunch at home and even before you offered. You then said you’d take care of it. You now want to be annoyed because she decided to use her savings for something actually necessary.

Why did you even offer then?