To leave 8 week old baby for the weekend?

[SheABitSpicyToday]

My best friend is having her hen weekend 8 weeks after I’m due to give birth. Will likely be more as I think I’m being induced early. It’s only 20 minute drive away and am taking my own car so can be home if I need to be or can get taxi.
Husband is actually looking forward to having the weekend to bond with baby by himself. Didn’t think anything was wrong until my sister said it was a disgusting thing to do and that the baby will be traumatised by it. I think she’s being Ott but do you think this is a terrible thing to do?

Is this your first baby? You might not want to at 8 weeks

No he’s my second

I did. As was a holiday that was planned 2 yes prior and couldn't change. In all honestly it was best thing I did.
My DF had my baby. And has done many many times since. He's now a teen

@kin432

*Who doesnt want a break from 8 weeks of exhaustion?! It doesn't have to be a need. Parents also have wants, and friends, and events, and jobs, and hobbies, and choices.*

Absolutely. Looking after a baby is bloody hard work, it's perfectly acceptable to want some time off to have a bit of fun with your friends. We really need to stop guilt tripping other mums for making different choices and implying that leaving a baby with your partner for a weekend will traumatise them for life. It's ridiculous.

I don't know what are your standards for bloody hard work - I have done many harder things in my life and it is only for half a year or so. Never felt like I "need" or "deserve" a break - was my choice to have a baby who is totally dependent on me for a short time. Totally understand that the situation can be very different if you normally get little respite or help, suffer from PND etc. So this is totally a personal choice, that way or another.

Oh @BFrazzled you are such a perfect mother. We're all so glad you're here to show us the way.

@IncludeWomenInThePrequel I think the point is we are all different - I know of no one in real life who left an 8 months old to go on holiday, so it is hardly a badge of honor :)

See how you feel nearer the time, but if you want to go then DO! It's not far to travel if you need to or want to get back, or equally if you're worried you could go for the one night rather than two.

Baby will not be 'traumatised'.

I always say to myself - what would I say or think if it was the other way round? That usually gives me my answer.

Personally, if my husband had a best friend's event over a weekend, I would never think he was abandoning us or being a bad dad (provided I was mentally and physically well). If you feel the same (you may or may not) then provided your husband is happy with 'daddy daycare' for the weekend, then go have some fun and respite! You no doubt deserve it!

I would not have been able to do it.

I wouldn't leave a baby that small for a whole weekend but you clearly have no problem doing it so not sure why you're even asking.

Baby has two parents! Go for it & enjoy your night 😃

They are like 2 months old by that point. I would go. I breastfed but I would have just tried to express and freeze enough milk going up to the date I was leaving, and if all else fails, buy some formula tbh.

I don't know what are your standards for bloody hard work - I have done many harder things in my life and it is only for half a year or so. Never felt like I "need" or "deserve" a break - was my choice to have a baby who is totally dependent on me for a short time.

of all the smug and ridiculous posts on MN, this one takes the medal.

You had an easy baby, be grateful. Just be aware it' not down to your perfect parenting, it's pure luck. It doesn't give you any right to judge or comment on other mothers.

Unless you are one of the martyrs who are even more infuriating.

There's a reason why we have maternity leave. We need it.

@stampo

I wouldn't leave a baby that small for a whole weekend but you clearly have no problem doing it so not sure why you're even asking.

isn't it sad that so many women can't trust the father of their child and feel they have to do it all by themselves?

@IncludeWomenInThePrequel
Comment of the day!

It’s almost like some mothers see it as a competition. The need to suffer for the privilege of motherhood.
Nah, ‘keep ‘em alive and don’t raise arseholes ‘
Is the school of parenting I subscribe to.
Dunno about everyone else but mine were easier to get a break from when tiny, people willing to take a pram sized baby for a day.
Once they turn into little terror machines or are at the ‘won’t shut up’ and ‘why’ phase you need to start offering larger sums of money to potential babysitters

[quote BFrazzled]@IncludeWomenInThePrequel I think the point is we are all different - I know of no one in real life who left an 8 months old to go on holiday, so it is hardly a badge of honor :)[/quote]
Yes, we are all different, but you're different because you're so vastly superior to the majority of us (in your mind).

My son is almost 5 months and I don't feel quite ready to be without him overnight yet but I've left him with his dad on a few occasions and I do think dads should take their share. I think everyone is different so if you feel up to it, go. I disagree that the baby will be traumatised! My son would probably have been fine with this, it would have been me with the problem.

@pleasedonttextmyman

I don't know what are your standards for bloody hard work - I have done many harder things in my life and it is only for half a year or so. Never felt like I "need" or "deserve" a break - was my choice to have a baby who is totally dependent on me for a short time.

of all the smug and ridiculous posts on MN, this one takes the medal.

You had an easy baby, be grateful. Just be aware it' not down to your perfect parenting, it's pure luck. It doesn't give you any right to judge or comment on other mothers.

Unless you are one of the martyrs who are even more infuriating.

There's a reason why we have maternity leave. We need it.

Maternity leave is to care for the child :) it is not a holiday.

I am not judging people who needed or could (due to not breastfeeding) take a break. I do judge people who claim that every mother secretly wants to do it too, and those who don’t are martyrs or have easy babies.

I left DD when she was 11 weeks old for 3 days/2 nights. I didn't have a choice and wasn't looking forward to it at all. But she was absolutely fine. She was with DH and my DM, was cared for brilliantly and is in absolutely no way traumatised as a result.
She is now nearly 7 and some friends of mine with kids of the same age have still never left theirs overnight. Horses for courses, you do what's best for you OP.

I don’t believe majority would gladly leave an 8 weeks old overnight to go to hen do…

@BFrazzled

I don’t believe majority would gladly leave an 8 weeks old overnight to go to hen do…

Maybe have a look at the 'yes' versus 'no' comments on here and think again?

I did on No1 & was breastfeeding. He around 10 weeks. Baby & DH was fine. I did start expressing & trying baby on bottle at 3 weeks tho so no point in starting that the days before. I did enjoy it but I do rem pumping & dumping alot which was a pain. I wouldn't have had the energy nor inclination to do it on no 2 &3 ! If I was bottle-feeding I'd have had no bother doing it tho!

@stampo

I wouldn't leave a baby that small for a whole weekend but you clearly have no problem doing it so not sure why you're even asking.

'Clearly you have no problem doing it'

So, so judgy.

The question has been asked for a reason...so stop making judgements that you know the posters intentions.

There was absolutely no way I could have gone away for even a day when either of my children were 8 weeks old . I remember getting my hair done at 8 weeks postpartum and stressing about being away from my son for 3 hours .

I don’t think there is anything wrong if you do go away though . It’s not disgusting and your baby will not be traumatised by it . If it was the father going away nobody would bat an eyelid.

If you are nursing that will have its challenges though .

I will say this , however you are feeling right now might not be how you feel after you become a mum .

The question is "is it a terrible thing to do and will the baby be traumatised"?

The answer is NO.

It doesn't matter if posters wouldn't/didn't/won't trust their partners with their baby, don't want a break, are too stressed or anxious to leave baby, don't ^want" to leave the baby, are too exhausted to bother, are content with baby.

Baby won't be hurt, damaged, traumatised, upset, abandoned, distressed...The dad should be as confident with his baby than the mum!

Maybe have a look at the 'yes' versus 'no' comments on here and think again?
Plenty of commenter said they wouldn't either. Maybe you are reading only the ones that agree with your opinion? Selective reading?

For example, something you likely don't take into account is that for someone whose baby is mostly breastfed (as is advised at this age) it simply won't be comfortable physically.