Page 11 | To leave 8 week old baby for the weekend?

SheABitSpicyToday · 2021-07-22T09:30:06+00:00

My best friend is having her hen weekend 8 weeks after I’m due to give birth. Will likely be more as I think I’m being induced early. It’s only 20 minute drive away and am taking my own car so can be home if I need to be or can get taxi. Husband is actually looking forward to having the weekend to bond with baby by himself. Didn’t think anything was wrong until my sister said it was a disgusting thing to do and that the baby will be traumatised by it. I think she’s being Ott but do you think this is a terrible thing to do?

TotorosCatBus · 22/07/2021 14:45

Completely disagree with your sister.

It's good to read about supportive husbands for a change. Too many dads cant cope with taking care of their child(ren) without a woman around and they can only get better by doing it.

GalaxyGirl24 · 22/07/2021 14:50

I had similar plans when DD was born 10 months ago, was due at a weekend hen do when she'd have been 8 months - however covid hit and the wedding is on hold so didn't have to which (selfishly) is good as I'm not sure how I'd have left DD who is breastfed and doesn't do bottles!

You will need to see how things are when your baby comes, 8 weeks is so young and emotional/physical recovery from birth may take longer

Theoldwoman · 22/07/2021 14:51

A couple of things stand out to me.

Why do you think you will need a weekend break from an eight week old?

Why do you think you won’t be still breastfeeding then? The baby is not even born yet.

Millionnewnames · 22/07/2021 14:57

Theoldwoman
Maine of us decide before baby is even conceived that we won’t be breastfeeding.

It’s an important celebration , it’s part of a wedding. Why should she not go and enjoy herself?

There is literally no good reason.

Millionnewnames · 22/07/2021 14:58

*many fgs

Original poster

SheABitSpicyToday · 22/07/2021 14:59

@Theoldwoman

Because we’ve been locked down for nearly 2 years and I want to go out and have fun.

I’m not breastfeeding at all so it’s not an issue.

OP posts:

PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 15:06

Your sister is way out of line. Your baby will not be traumatised at all and it isn't a disgusting thing to do.

You might fee differently about leaving baby once they're born but you won't know until then.

I wouldn't Have left DS at 8 weeks because that's my personal choice. I wouldn't judge someone else for doing it though!

PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 15:06

Feel*

Mumtogirls2018 · 22/07/2021 15:09

I can't imagine doing this but then I also can't imagine deciding not to breastfeed either (barring some kind of awful trauma of course). In my opinion babies need their mums and breastfeeding is by far the best way to feed them.

But you don't feel the same, so just do it, it's your baby! Never mind what your sister or anyone else might think.

Millionnewnames · 22/07/2021 15:09

@SheABitSpicyToday

Theoldwoman clearly wanted to season the parent shaming pot with a ‘surely you’ll breastfeed’ goady post.
If you’re lucky enough to have a bloke that’s willing and able and you are blessed with healthy, manageable babies then please take advantage and go have a good time.
So many of us have had so little of that lately , and I for one love the idea of fellow women getting out and enjoying special , fun times. When I’ve recovered from my illness I shall be painting the town red, in Vegas probably ;)

bananaJamas · 22/07/2021 15:11

Nobody knows what's right other than you. And you won't know until nearer the time.

I say, go for the evening, take it easy. Don't feel under pressure to go if you dont want to.

MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat · 22/07/2021 15:12

Yanbu at all. I wouldn’t have felt ready to leave ds1 at that age so I didn’t. But he would have been fine if I had, it was my issue being away from him. The baby will be absolutely fine with their dad and if you are happy with it then there’s no problem at all.

I came down with appendicitis when ds2 was a few weeks old and I was in hospital for several days. He was fine. If he realised I was gone it was not noticeable he was happy as anything with his dad. He’s certainly not traumatised. What a silly thing for your sister to say!

Enjoy the hen do!

PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 15:12

[quote BFrazzled]@Millionnewnames
I buggered off to Ibiza when she was 12 weeks old. She’s perfectly happy and has her own home at 20.
Nothing wrong with having your own home at 20, but by most people standards a 20 year old with functioning parents should ideally be in university dorm, rather than working to pay a mortgage. In the same vein, spending time predominantly in bouncer isn't ideal, and Ibiza is usually less appealing at this stage in life...[/quote]
Really?!

Uni isn't for everyone. She owns her own house at 20. She's paying her mortgage rather than uni fees she wouldn't have liked.

Stop being so judgemental ffs.

chunderwunder · 22/07/2021 15:13

@SheABitSpicyToday

I clearly don’t have the maternal instincts then because I’ve never been bothered about leaving my first baby and we’ve always had an incredible bond. She’s 7 now.

So what did you say to your sister when she told you it was scandalous to leave no. 1?

If you were happy leaving the first one I'm not sure why you're having doubts about no. 2.

PrettyBlunt · 22/07/2021 15:13

@Theoldwoman

A couple of things stand out to me.

Why do you think you will need a weekend break from an eight week old?

Why do you think you won’t be still breastfeeding then? The baby is not even born yet.

you do realise some people choose not to BF, right?

I never did. Always said I didn't want to. So I didn't.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 22/07/2021 15:16

[quote BFrazzled]@Millionnewnames
I buggered off to Ibiza when she was 12 weeks old. She’s perfectly happy and has her own home at 20.
Nothing wrong with having your own home at 20, but by most people standards a 20 year old with functioning parents should ideally be in university dorm, rather than working to pay a mortgage. In the same vein, spending time predominantly in bouncer isn't ideal, and Ibiza is usually less appealing at this stage in life...[/quote]
You do realise not everyone goes to university, yes?

What an embarrassing post from you.

bananaJamas · 22/07/2021 15:18

Just remembered i went on a hen night when my baby was 7 weeks: I was breastfeeding but baby had formula that evening. I fed before I left and soon as I got back

I was gone about 7 hours

Original poster

SheABitSpicyToday · 22/07/2021 15:19

@chunderwunder she was only 13 when I had my first so didn’t have an opinion. Now she has all the opinions.

OP posts:

BunnyRuddington · 22/07/2021 15:20

Now she has all the opinions.

How wonderful for you

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 22/07/2021 15:21

Nothing wrong with having your own home at 20, but by most people standards a 20 year old with functioning parents should ideally be in university dorm, rather than working to pay a mortgage

I don't those are most people's standards at all. What a bizarre post.

I can't imagine doing this but then I also can't imagine deciding not to breastfeed either (barring some kind of awful trauma of course). In my opinion babies need their mums and breastfeeding is by far the best way to feed them

An 8 week old baby isn't going to care who's looking after them as long as they're being fed and changed. And I'm quite intrigued to know what you class as "some kind of awful trauma"?

OP go and enjoy yourself! Your sister is being ridiculous

IncludeWomenInThePrequel · 22/07/2021 15:23

@Theoldwoman

A couple of things stand out to me.

Why do you think you will need a weekend break from an eight week old?

Why do you think you won’t be still breastfeeding then? The baby is not even born yet.

Hahaha!

Who doesnt want a break from 8 weeks of exhaustion?!

It doesn't have to be a need. Parents also have wants, and friends, and events, and jobs, and hobbies, and choices.

Original poster

SheABitSpicyToday · 22/07/2021 15:25

Also, if my husband wants to bugger off for a weekend break I’m more than happy for him to. He deserves it!

OP posts:

20viona · 22/07/2021 15:28

Your baby will know no different. Me and my husband went to Barcelona when our daughter was 12 weeks for 2 nights. Nana and grandad got some bonding time ; Shoot me 😂

kin432 · 22/07/2021 15:34

Who doesnt want a break from 8 weeks of exhaustion?!
It doesn't have to be a need. Parents also have wants, and friends, and events, and jobs, and hobbies, and choices.

Absolutely. Looking after a baby is bloody hard work, it's perfectly acceptable to want some time off to have a bit of fun with your friends. We really need to stop guilt tripping other mums for making different choices and implying that leaving a baby with your partner for a weekend will traumatise them for life. It's ridiculous.

Mommabear20 · 22/07/2021 15:37

In terms of the effect on your baby, don't worry about it! Baby will be fine with daddy for a few days!
However, I'd strongly suggest that you don't set your heart on staying the full time, it's harder than you can comprehend right now how hard it is to leave your baby so soon after birth, of course everyone is different and there's no judgement if you can and do leave baby, but from my personal experience, I couldn't bring myself to leave my DD till she was at least 4 months old and that was for a long lunch date with my DH. And at 1 year old, I'm still not ready to be away from her overnight.