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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sister in law gave my son covid

191 replies

Hijabigirl234 · 22/07/2021 09:15

I’m still fuming right now,but basically we went to visit my sister in laws house on Saturday the 17th ( their household is our bubble) she said nothing to us about being next to someone who tested positive for covid,nothing. She was there kissing my kids and everything ( they are 5&4), this Tuesday the 20th comes around,it’s Eid and my sons birthday party ( he’s 4 today!) I spoke to her the night before,my husband saw her the night before, she came with her family to our house for the party even knowing my dad who is fully jabbed but still vunerable was their, she said nothing. Early hours of wed morning my son jumped into bed with me, and he was coughing a cough I have never heard before ( sounding very dry and almost like a bark) I knew nothing at this point but I don’t know why I had a feeling he had covid. Wed afternoon my sister in law texts me a picture saying “ guess what my covid test is positive. last wed I was next to my friend we went to the gym together,and my friend tested positive on Friday. I have been feeling really unwell since Monday,feeling like I have the flu but I didn’t want to take my covid test before eid/my sons birthday because I didn’t want it to ruin my eid day to go out because I’d have to isolate."

Just think, this woman not only came to my house, but afterwards went to her husbands family house who has a large family,the same woman who since Monday has been going out here their and everywhere without a mask whilst knowing she was close to someone with covid and herself showing symptoms.

I can’t stop being so angry, I think she is extremely selfish that she had not 1,but 2 opportunities to tell us she had been next to someone with covid and showing symptoms, my 4 year old son,who’s birthday is today has tested positive for covid and he’s coughing too ( me,my husband and daughter have tested neg)

AIBU to think she is the most selfish person to do this,to go all these places knowing her situation very well, to come inside my house kissing and hugging my children knowing she has symptoms and knowing she most likely had covid. I was so angry last night that I told my husband to call his sister and kick of because this behaviour is disgusting, he shouted at me and said well it’s wrong but what can I do now.

The thing that makes me more angry is,is that when my little boys test came back positive, she was sending laughing emojis ( 🤣😂) so it’s clearly just all a very big joke to her.

What a lovely 4th birthday present she has given to her nephew.

post edited by MNHQ in order to avoid further confusion

OP posts:
OchonAgusOchonOh · 22/07/2021 11:35

@Sillawithans

I couldn't lose my shit over this.
Really? You'd have no problem isolating and cancelling plans due to your sil's decision to ignore the fact she was exposed to covid and was displaying symptoms? You'd have no problem with her not mentioning any of this to you as she wanted to enjoy celebrations in your house? You'd have no problem seeing your small child sick and uncomfortable, even if it's not a severe case?
Original poster
Hijabigirl234 · 22/07/2021 11:37

[quote FunnyWonder]@thenakedmolerat Aye, because the whole world was closed for business last year because of a cold. Are you for real? It's not the cold.[/quote]
Exactly, if it was a cold I really wouldn’t have minded but with a cold you don’t need to self isolate inside for 10 days without being able to leave the house and you don’t know how severe your symptoms can get. As far as I’m aware this is the first time since covid any of us in our family have “confirmed covid” until now we don’t know if/when we’ve had it. So obviously this being the first time we are aware of it’s worrying expecially as he’s so young too, it’s not just a cold.

OP posts:
Demelza82 · 22/07/2021 11:39

Weddings and birthday parties are about to become the new superspreaders.

Original poster
Hijabigirl234 · 22/07/2021 11:39

This is my point exactly, even with young children it might only be mild but you just never know and even seeing them the slightest bit uncomfortable is so upsetting and obviously the anxiety of how bad his symptoms could get you just never know even with them being young how they will take it.

Obviously I’m fuming as well because it’s his birthday today, all plans have obviously had to be cancelled,we had so many plans for this week and next week and it’s not only seeing him ill, but also seeing his little face when I had to tell him we can’t do all the things I promised him we would!!!

OP posts:
VaguelyInteresting · 22/07/2021 11:46

Id say it was unbelievable, if I hadn’t just had a call from my DM to say she has to isolate because my aunt has visited her multiple time whilst knowing that her husband was symptomatic and likely positive (had been in contact with a cluster of confirmed cases) and waiting for covid test results.

Aunt is now also symptomatic - and had refused the vaccine; she’s CEV so ... Confused. DM not yet tested or symptomatic but it would be early days yet.

DM couldn’t see what my aunt had done wrong, because “but he hadn’t had a positive test result yet when she came over”.

No but he was fucking lying in bed, unable to stand, coughing and sweating, after he knew many of his colleagues had confirmed cases, wasn’t he.

This is unbelievably my actual family and I’m torn between worry and fury.

gogohm · 22/07/2021 11:50

Unfortunately some people are prioritising socialising over public health. It was visiting at Eid last year that kicked off the wave in Leicester last year, then there was the photos of 150 person plus Jewish weddings when 30 was the maximum, and I've seen pictures from churches too, this isn't exclusive to one religion.

No celebration or festival is more important than protecting your family

gogohm · 22/07/2021 11:52

@FredBlankenship School holidays started on the 10th in some council areas!

LadyDanburysCane · 22/07/2021 11:53

@thenakedmolerat

Meh. Did you used to fume if someone passed on a cold?
If someone passed a cold to my son then he would have a cold that’s it. If someone passes Covid to my son he has to isolate for 10 days, DH and I also have to isolate for 10 days. If I also develop symptoms then some of my colleagues will have to isolate. If they develop symptoms then that is at least one school class sent home to isolate.

The repercussions in this case can be massive so it can’t be compared to passing on a cold,

littlebauxpeep · 22/07/2021 12:16

Reminds me of a recent situation I had regarding a child's birthday party. Parent messaged the group to say her DC had a cough for a week but it was OK as they'd done a lateral flow and it was negative. They were worried enough to isolate for a week though....and didn't do a PCR although there was a qualifying symptom.

Apparently I'm the bad guy for being unsure if my own DC will attend. I have vulnerable parents and so uncomfortably made the decision to allow my DC to attend the party and will then avoid my parents for 2 weeks. We will lateral flow/PCR if needed due to needing to see my parents (e.g. care visits/if we develop symptoms).

Selfishness is abundant at the moment. And worse than that are those people who feel a lateral flow is a free pass - it is not if you have symptoms. It just pushes the responsibility to other people. So then the symptom-haver can say 'oh i did lateral flow and was OK, you can't have got it from me'. Do the PCR test; do the right thing. Not some half-hearted attempt to avoid any responsibility.

It really is the era of personal responsibility. And I can see just how badly that is working out...how many fallings out will there be with friends/family? Are you ruining the party/wedding by going if you have symptoms but don't test - or are you ruining it all by not going if you are aware others have tested incorrectly (or not at all). This is an unenviable dilemma we will all face at some point now...

goldfinchfan · 22/07/2021 12:23

" I have been feeling really unwell since Monday,feeling like I have the flu but I didn’t want to take my covid test before eid/my sons birthday because I didn’t want it to ruin my eid day to go out ” because I’d have to isolate."

SO selfish. OP your DSIS is a walking danger. Hope you can keep a bigger distance in the future. She doesn't care about your DC or you. Or anyone really does she?

I am angry with you on this. Covid gets a helping hand with people like her.

Dee1975 · 22/07/2021 12:26

I would be fuming too. Hope your son is ok and makes a full recovery

Yummymummy2020 · 22/07/2021 12:28

Your sister in law sounds horrible!!!

FredBlankenship · 22/07/2021 12:33

[quote gogohm]@FredBlankenship School holidays started on the 10th in some council areas![/quote]
I assume you mean in Scotland, in England its today or tomorrow with the exception of some private schools of course.

Re: "....irrelevant the husband is still not isolating after the celebrations it doesn't really matter when Eid was".

My point about Eid wasn't specific to this op, it was a general point - if you recall late changes were made just before Xmas, as cases were rising, could not the same thing have happened last week due to Eid being imminent?

moresugarpls · 22/07/2021 12:47

YANBU
I’d have been pissed off. Although I wouldn’t have tried to rope DH to have a go at her. I’d have just done it myself Grin

BountyIsUnderrated · 22/07/2021 12:59

I wouldn't speak to her ever again.
Your sons birthday ruined all because of this selfish sil. In my case if my sil gave me covid I'd be fuming because my dad has a heart condition!

frazzledasarock · 22/07/2021 13:47

@FredBlankenship late changes were made to the last three Eids as well in fact one of the Eids which followed Easter was 'cancelled' via twitter at 11:45

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 22/07/2021 13:58

This is the trouble, there is no vaccine for stupid or for selfish. That SIL and her family would not be setting foot in my house for a very long time.

FredBlankenship · 22/07/2021 14:01

[quote frazzledasarock]@FredBlankenship late changes were made to the last three Eids as well in fact one of the Eids which followed Easter was 'cancelled' via twitter at 11:45[/quote]
@frazzledasarock yes, I know that, it was sort of the point I was making. Eid will be back again, as will Cristmas (but not for some people, due to these recent events).

Windintrees · 22/07/2021 14:05

I hope you can still have a reasonably happy Eid and FaceTime your friends and family then have a second celebration in a couple of weeks. I am so sorry that this has happened.

resm · 22/07/2021 14:09

I’m sorry, but I would literally never speak to her again. She knowingly put your kids (and everyone) at risk. There’s really no coming back from that and I hope your husband backs you up.

DameFanny · 22/07/2021 14:36

I'd send her and her H this link @Hijabigirl234 - www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/when-to-self-isolate-and-what-to-do/

And point out that they're breaking the law if they leave the house, regardless of whether they've been contacted by test and trace or not. The advice is explicit - if you live with someone who's tested positive you isolate for 10 days at least, all 6 of them.

LittleMissGossip · 22/07/2021 15:32

Definitely selfish of your SIL, but she probably thinks covid is a cold, and nothing happens besides a few sniffles (I'm guessing she's fortunate enough not to have lost anyone to covid).

I would definitely have words with her, am I right in thinking she's been attending the gym and other places too? Don't think people visiting the same gym would be too happy to hear that.

As for yourself, hope your son recovers quickly, I'd set an example by showing her how you're supposed to self isolate (I believe her children and husband are also happily mixing?)

However, it isn't unknown people have been doing this, some clever mum sent her children to school with obvious symptoms for the whole year to have to isolate (again) Angry

Darbs76 · 22/07/2021 18:15

Absolutely disgusting. We have Covid and it’s awful, I feel awful 8 days on. I can’t believe she kissed your son knowing she could have Covid. Your husband should stand up for his son and tell her what a disgusting thing she did

MzHz · 22/07/2021 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

justasking111 · 22/07/2021 19:04

Well I would phone the gym . Our gym the owner s son had it the resulting epidemic of cases was all over the media. So many infected @Hijabigirl234