To insist the cat goes back to the RSPCA?

[Hellvelyn]

We got a rescue cat from the RSPCA just over two years ago. Much wanted by dd and seemed like a good idea. DS and DD are now 16 and 18 ( years 11 and 13)
Cat is sweet natured and friendly but OMFG she's caused havoc and cost us hundreds of pounds. She just won't reliably pee outside or in the litter tray. She's ruined two carpets. I've spent hours cleaning up after her and we've tried everything to persuade her to wee where she should (multiple vet investigations, different litter and litter trays, products to help her relax, products to deter inappropriate weeing, advice from RSPCA. You name it. We've tried it.) End of last year she was doing better. We then had a long planned downstairs extension. Cat was in a (lovely) local cattery for 10 weeks as we didn't want her upset by all the disruption and for the peeing to get worse. On her return she was so settled and found her spot in the sun in our new conservatory and was weeing reliably in her tray. Suddenly last week I saw her weeing up the wall of our lovely new extension and all over a laptop. Closer inspection and sniffing indicated this wasn't the first time. Today she weed up our bookcase onto precious photo albums. I've just had enough. She's damaged one thing too many now. We had a family talk tonight. DCs are upset at the thought of her going, DS in particular who said " but she's part of our family....." AIBU to just want her to return to the RSPCA? Will my kids ever forgive me? Aaaaagh!

This is going to be interesting. Hope you have your big girl pants on. An example of why I can't be bothered with a pet. At least children grow up and are independent and the NHS covers them.

That’s the beauty of pets, once they get inconvenient you can just get rid.

Someone else will definitely want a third hand adult un-housetrained cat.

Well, I don’t blame you wanting to return her at all.
But at the same time, no I don’t think the children would forgive you tbh.
So not sure really what to suggest.

I wouldn’t ever forgive you if I was your kid OP, hope that helps.

Well sure, if you’re okay with them probably euthanising her.

@RunningFromInsanity

That’s the beauty of pets, once they get inconvenient you can just get rid.

Someone else will definitely want a third hand adult un-housetrained cat.

I think this qualifies as a bit more than inconvenient to be honest - if it's affecting your quality of life op (which it obviously is) then something needs to happen - perhaps the cat would be happier elsewhere also

Is she an inside cat or an outdoor one?

Our cat from the RSPCA used to do this and they were insistent to keep him indoors as he’d only ever been an indoor cat.

It drove me up the wall so we ‘cat-proofed’ the garden and started slowly letting him out. Over a year or so he went to being happy going through the cat flap and hanging out on our back garden. He figured out how to get round the front and now sits waiting on the wall for us to come back from the shop.

He is so much happier and relaxed with access to the outside. Almost a completely different cat! And he stopped going inside at all (we threw the litter tray away after a year as he never used it - he preferred to go outside).

Honestly, you haven't really said what you have tried to help wih the behaviour. Cats can be stressed easily, causing them to urinate in different places. We had the same with ours. I can't even begin to think about getting rid of him, regardless of the peeing. What sort of message does it send your children if things get hard and you just send the cat back? My parents did the same thing when we had two kittens, and tbh I've always thought it was horrible of them (that was to do with a house move) I really think you are being unreasonable, but would probably need more info on what you have tried in respect of helping the cat/your home set up/stressors.

Your DS is right.

I can see the kids thinking - where do we return unwanted parents to…..

An ideal life lesson for your teens: when something is inconvenient get rid.
YABVU.

Lots of cat lovers will tell you that you owe it to your cat to tolerate its incontinence for the next 15 years. But I wouldnt.

I love cats but this is so unhygienic and you're not unreasonable to want to live in a house free of cat urine.

I couldn’t put up with a cat pissing everywhere. Then again we don’t have a cat - at least partly for that reason.

It’s a cat, it isn’t a family member and it’s up to you whether you want to go on having things ruined, cleaning up the wee and having a stinking house. Maybe your DS will take the cleaning on if he feels so strongly about it. Why are you the one doing it all?

@Twofurrycatsagain

An ideal life lesson for your teens: when something is inconvenient get rid. YABVU.

Yeah of course it’s better to continue to tolerate cat piss everywhere.

So you stuck the poor thing in a cattery for 10 weeks and then are surprised she’s upset and disturbed?

No one will want to adopt her….

Give it a few years and your kids will be on here saying AIBU to not want to visit/bring my baby to DM's house as it stinks of piss?

@nicelyneurotic

I love cats but this is so unhygienic and you're not unreasonable to want to live in a house free of cat urine.

Agree with this.

Try it as an outdoor cat?

Also this would be better in The Litter Tray - you’ll get more informed and less nasty responses.

If the cat was happy and chilled at the cattery - try copying whatever the cattery did?
I would suspect that the cat wasn’t constantly disturbed in the cattery or in your conservatory, but something recently has. But I would still question why she was much happier in the cattery.

I think with the age of your DCs it will probably permanently change their perception of you yes. You can buy a spray on amazon that helps alot. I believe citrus smells deter them from doing this.

I really don't think people should take on pets without understanding what they're getting into. It's a responsibility that shouldn't be taken lightly.

In the situation you describe, I would want rid of the cat too. That's why I won't ever take on a pet.

@Hoppinggreen. A cattery was probably the most responsible thing to do. By all accounts on MN building works are hugely disruptive and annoying for humans let alone a sensitive cat.

Things we've tried.....investigation of kidneys and for urine infections and diabetes, encouraging going outside by replacing our small cat flap with a larger one which is easier to use, Feliway and similar, larger litter tray, litter tray with a lid, various types of litter, bowls of dry food in her favourite peeing places to deter the peeing, cleaning up with biological washing liquid, cleaning up with special products to deter peeing, laying puppy pads in favourite peeing places, keeping to a familiar feeding routine, lots of attention and love and cuddles. I can probably think of more......