To insist the cat goes back to the RSPCA?

[Hellvelyn]

We got a rescue cat from the RSPCA just over two years ago. Much wanted by dd and seemed like a good idea. DS and DD are now 16 and 18 ( years 11 and 13)
Cat is sweet natured and friendly but OMFG she's caused havoc and cost us hundreds of pounds. She just won't reliably pee outside or in the litter tray. She's ruined two carpets. I've spent hours cleaning up after her and we've tried everything to persuade her to wee where she should (multiple vet investigations, different litter and litter trays, products to help her relax, products to deter inappropriate weeing, advice from RSPCA. You name it. We've tried it.) End of last year she was doing better. We then had a long planned downstairs extension. Cat was in a (lovely) local cattery for 10 weeks as we didn't want her upset by all the disruption and for the peeing to get worse. On her return she was so settled and found her spot in the sun in our new conservatory and was weeing reliably in her tray. Suddenly last week I saw her weeing up the wall of our lovely new extension and all over a laptop. Closer inspection and sniffing indicated this wasn't the first time. Today she weed up our bookcase onto precious photo albums. I've just had enough. She's damaged one thing too many now. We had a family talk tonight. DCs are upset at the thought of her going, DS in particular who said " but she's part of our family....." AIBU to just want her to return to the RSPCA? Will my kids ever forgive me? Aaaaagh!

WTAF - killed a couple of kittens (and hens)? I mean, the rest of the list kind of becomes redundant when that’s casually thrown in. Were the kittens in your house when it happened? If not, I strongly suggest that you muzzle your dog outside of your home - and seek advice from a good behaviourist.

Given your kids think the cat is a family member I would suggest they should get involved in solving the problem in 2 ways:

1. Regularly clean the urine. Make them deap clean the wall bit
2. pay for further investigations/treatments/new products to stop the cat peeing out of their pocket money

Was she really fine at the cattery... that seems unlikely, its far more likely they told you she was fine, they want your return custom and its pretty standard practice for vets, catteries etc to tell owners 'ah yeah sure Fluffy was fine' when in fact Fluffy has been stressed to fuck, yelled, pissed, whatever...

Spraying is scent marking, female cats wouldn't normally do this unless in season (could some ovarian tissue be missed in a spay?) or stressed. If she's not stressed inside the home is she being bullied by local cats in the garden/out and about?

If thats possible, try her as an indoor cat rather than trying to encourage outdoors for better toilet habits. Block off the catflap so no neighbour cats can come in and see if that helps.

If she IS being bullied at home, its possible that is why she was ok at the cattery, if she was of course.

So many posters saying they wouldn't get a pet for this reason. How silly. The vast majority of pets, even rescue pets, don't do this (or at least not on any regular basis).

I second the PPs who suggested speaking to your vet and perhaps asking them for a recommendation to an animal behaviourist. I also agree that your children need to be involved with solving this issue. They need to help with the clean up and in preventing the behaviour.

There may be another cat in the neighbourhood which is stressing your cat out. It's odd if the behaviour didn't manifest itself in the cattery and was initially better when the cat came home after the building work was completed.

I don't think you need to re-home just yet, and you don't need to have the cat put down . You do need professional advice at this stage from someone who can assess your individual circumstances, and the burden of cleaning up after the cat shouldn't just fall to you.

Haven’t read the thread (sorry) but I would take the cat back to the vet and be clear that sending the cat back to RSPCA is on the table and ask for more help with a solution and make it clear you are open to using meds.

I’m a vet and have prescribed cat anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds in this sort of situation and they can really work. Clomicalm is the drug I’ve used. It’s licensed for dogs but can be used in cats. I’ve also used fluoxetine (Prozac). I’ve also referred cases to veterinary behaviourists who’ve also prescribed similar in similar cases.

Not a cat expert at all but I don't think the cats likes it as yours too? It's a two way thing remember- you keep an animal because you love them and they stay because they reciprocate that love. If the cat is still weeing wherever she wants, doesn't that show she's stressed/on constant high-alert for territory? Unless she's like this for everyone? What did the cattery say about her behaviour? Was she happy there? Weeing as expected?

Do the children help look after her? If they don't or they've tried and nothing works then it's not fair that everything falls to you. You've got to do the fair thing here and let the cat go for your and its sake.

@TreeSmuggler

I am a big cat lover but you can't go on like this.

How can you explain to your kids? Maybe focus on the idea that the cat clearly isn't happy at your house, and nothing is helping, so she could be happier elsewhere.

Tbh, and I'll get flamed for this no doubt, what you should have done is had her PTS, and tell your kids she got sick or in an accident, and the vet advised PTS immediately. However now you've had the family meeting its too late for this tactic.

You aren’t a cat lover. Stop fooling yourself.

What is the other option though? Drop the cat off at the RSPCA? You'd be kidding yourself if you thought it would ever get a new home. It would be in a cage for the rest of its life. It would be kinder to end its life now.

And just keep cleaning it up, get the kids involved also isn't an option. Cat piss isn't just wiped up, it is impossible to clean from soft furnishings. Even using bottles of urine cleaner, steam cleaning, etc, the smell does not come out.

@sheusesmagazines

Haven’t read the thread (sorry) but I would take the cat back to the vet and be clear that sending the cat back to RSPCA is on the table and ask for more help with a solution and make it clear you are open to using meds.

I’m a vet and have prescribed cat anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds in this sort of situation and they can really work. Clomicalm is the drug I’ve used. It’s licensed for dogs but can be used in cats. I’ve also used fluoxetine (Prozac). I’ve also referred cases to veterinary behaviourists who’ve also prescribed similar in similar cases.

Would this be a good option?

@TreeSmuggler

What is the other option though? Drop the cat off at the RSPCA? You'd be kidding yourself if you thought it would ever get a new home. It would be in a cage for the rest of its life. It would be kinder to end its life now.

There are other options that are yet to be explored. Putting a cat to sleep in this situation is needlessly cruel.

The cat may need to be re-homed, but the issue could be a problem with another cat in the neighbourhood or something else local that causes the cat distress. Medication may help.

Putting the cat to sleep for this reason at this stage is ludicrous.

@Yaya26

Oh I completely sympathise. I have a dog who was dumped on me last year despite my protests. Kids love him. I am fond of him when he's not stressing me out . He has cost me thousands of pounds and many arguments with the DH. He has dug up gardens, eaten chunks of a wooden playhouse, eaten numerous deliveries (despite me plastering the house asking delivery drivers not to leave parcels outside but in garage) eaten clothes of washing line ( never the worn out clothes) eaten several pairs of trainers, killed two kittens and a couple of hens, eaten a seatbelt out my car, Christmas lights . I could go on forever. I have spent a fortune on training (apparently he's very intelligent and loads of energy (no sh*t). I'm really afraid to say it I but I think we might be turning a corner. My daughter left a pair of shoes outside today and he didn't devour them Immediately . I love animals but they are no fun when they are misbehaving.

Your dog killed two kittens and two chickens?? For goodness sake muzzle it and get it trained before it hurts a child. You are not doing this dog any favours.

For those saying 10 WEEKS IN A CATTERY what do you expect? The cat was doing this before she went to the cattery.
For those saying let her out - the cat goes out, she has a cat flap.
Op, I'd try a behaviourist before giving up, but I perfectly understand why you don't think you can carry on like this forever.

If it was a cat that had killed some birds @Furries would you be as horrified and recommending a muzzle?

My cat uses her tray for poo but wees next to her tray for wees... no idea why as she is a very happy cat. I solved the problem by buying a few £15 washable cotton waterproof incontenence things for double beds. I put one of these under her tray (its about 5 times bigger than her tray) and she just wees on it. It has never leaked through to the carpet. It does a great job of containing the wee / smell and I just change it 1-2 times a week - spray it with spray that deals with cat wee and run it through a 90 degree wash.

It's a very sad situation OP. Nobody wants cat piss everywhere for another 10 years. There are some cats which are very damaged by the time they're adopted and some behaviours are just ingrained.

Can you now make the cat an outdoor cat? Use the summer to your advantage maybe? Do you have a garden shed where you can put the litter tray? Do you have one with a chip in it like a cat flap so only she can access it? It's time for you to get her tray out the house and at night, keep her somewhere where she will be entertained easily on her own. Don't allow her access to whole house anymore. She is still young and will adjust but it shows your kids that there's always a solution.

Good luck OP!!

The cat is stressed and it sounds like while in the cattery she calmed. I think it may very well be a noise issue, family noise is too much for her. We had a lovely rescue cat when DS started roaming about as a toddler the cat couldn’t stand the noise and started to pee. The cat went to live with MIL and stopped peeing. We carried on paying vets bills, he was very old by then and enjoyed a luxurious retirement. MIL had a little heated outside area built for him by a builder friend and fed him organic cat food.

We have another rescue cat, never a problem with her until DS GF started to stay overnight. She was insanely jealous of the GF as the cat sleeps on DS bed. The couple of times DS GF has left a jumper here in his bedroom the cat had peed on it. After two years the cat has finally accepted DS GF. She actually chose DS GF lap over everyone else for the first time last week.

So the two issues I have had have been noise and jealousy with my cats.

Let her outside

By opening the door. Some cats don't like and won't use a cat flap - mine won't.

Have you tried white vinegar with 2/3 drops of tea tree oil in it? I found it worked my cats ever had an accident in the house.

I would get rid. Some of the mad cat people maybe are OK with their house being ruined and smelling of piss because "the cat is one of the family" but fuck that, who wants to live like that? For however many more years?

@Twofurrycatsagain

An ideal life lesson for your teens: when something is inconvenient get rid. YABVU.

No, the life lessons for the teens is that they, and the environment they are living in, is more important than a cat.

You cant have a cat destroy your house, what about making her a outdoor cat.? Giving her a shed to live in etc.

Many of the replies to this are serious evidence for cat lovers being frankly bonkers, which knowing the ones I have comes as no surprise. Perspective, get you some. OPs kids need to grow up.
So glad I'm allergic so I never have to face this sort of batshittery.

I don't get people who refuse to keep an animal with behavioural problems. You wouldn't insist on handing back a child, would you??

Because cats and children are a direct equivalent, aren't they?

I had 2 sprayers. It was so difficult, and it happened on and off for years. It only changed (completely stopped) when I started letting them out at night. They would have access to one room indoors and I left the cat flap open all night. After a few weeks, they became much less stressed and stopped spraying. That was about 3 years ago.

It’s also worth trying to cat proof your garden from neighbouring cats who may be coming around and stressing her out. Anti-anxiety tablets are also worth a shot. I would also confine her to one room and the outdoors if it continues. If it happens overnight, have her sleep outside - making sure she has a suitable shelter. (I’d still bring her in in the winter, though).

Personally, I wouldn’t rehome her for many reasons.