AIBU for not telling husband to pick up both kids?

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TL:DR husband offered to do school run this arvo. He forgot one of our kids. He is now (very angrily) claiming that this is all my fault for not telling him exactly how many kids to pick up. AIBU for thinking he should be able to remember how many fucking kids he has for himself?!

Details: I'm stuck home with 8yo isolating, so I needed someone to pick up the 10yo and the 5yo from school. I'd found someone for the 5yo, but I was struggling with the 10yo (all the Yr 5 parents I'm friendly with also have yr3 kids isolating). I didn't really want to ask the first mum to pick up both my kids, because yr5 finish 20 mins later than reception, and I felt bad asking her to hang around for an extra 20 mins in the baking sun.

So I asked my husband for our neighbour's number as they have a granddaughter in yr5.

The message I sent my husband went "do you have X's number? I'm looking for someone to pick up 10yo from school". He very unexpectedly replied "don't worry, I can leave work early". I replied "will you go straight to school?" just to check that he meant he was going to do the school run, and he said "yes, straight to school", so I texted my friend and said thanks very much but actually I didn't need her to get the 5yo after all. Husband then picked up 10yo, but completely forgot about 5yo.

Now, in my first msg I hadn't mentioned 5yo at all, because I wasn't actually asking my husband to do the school run. Should I have at this point messaged back "and don't forget the 5yo also exists"?!! Fwiw husband does the school run once a week every week, just not normally Tuesday, but the arrangements on the day he does normally do it are identical to Tuesdays (ie no one has any after school clubs or anything. 5yo never has any after school clubs)

Even those of you who would have forseen this exact situation happening, and who would have reminded him of the other child, do you actually believe its my FAULT for not reminding him?

Actually, I think you should have mentioned the 5-year old. I don't think he forgot how many children he has; just assumed you'd made other plans for the 5-year old.

I can see where there is confusion but you should've made sure that he knew to get both kids. To me the message reads to only pick up the older one.

Tbh based on that I don’t think it’s cheat that he needed to pick the 5 year old up

From your initial paragraph I would have said he was to blame. But your explanation says quite clearly that you only told him the 10 year old needed picking up. I would have also assumed the younger child was sorted.

Your message implied only the older needed picking up. Husband is right.

Yes, sorry it's on you for saying you needed someone to pick up 10yo. I would have assumed 5yo was going elsewhere or somehow taken care of by that.

I think it was lack of good communication on both sides.
Dh took you literally about collecting older dc and you assumed he would fetch the younger dc without making it clear that you expected him to.

YABU. You only asked him if he could collect the 10yo.

Your message did kind of make it sound like you already had a plan for the 5yo. But if I had been your husband I would have clarified that with you first. I guess he assumed since you specifically mentioned the 10yo it was only the 10yo who needed picked up.

Basically I can see how the mistake happened and I think you both bear a bit of responsibility.

I think it’s a misunderstanding but you’re being very harsh to have a go.

You specifically asked about 10yo. He specifically said he’d pick them up. Maybe he should have asked what was happening with the other but I think it’s not unreasonable he did what he was told was needed.

Fault is too strong, but your message was clearly only talking about 10yo.

I think I would have assumed the 5 year old was on a play date or similar as you only mentioned the 10 year old.

I would've also only picked up the 10yo. It's obvious this isn't something common for him. He tried to be helpful.
YABU, should've made it clear or just said plz pick up the kids. You singled out the 10yo so that's who he picked up.

He should have double checked.
You should have said it's both. By only mentioning the ten year old and given the 20 minute difference, I can see how the miscommunication could have happened. He's being an arse about it though.

You only asked him to get the 10 year old. I don't think it's his fault really

Sorry, team DH here.

You said you needed someone to pick up the 10yr old, and was looking for x number to do it.

You didn’t say pick up the kids, therefore he was under the impression that the 5 year old already had transport.

He could have used his common sense and said “I’ll get 5 year old too whilst I’m there”

Or you could have said “I have A picking up 5 year old. Can I cancel them and you get him too?”

Your message was confusing and you're being sarcastic and disingenuous about it.

Your DH is right.

But I never asked him to pick up anyone! He was the one who said he'd leave work early and do the school run. If he was at school doing the school run, why would he expect someone else to pick up the 5yo? They're at the same school, in the same playground!

Your message only mentioned the older child, you should communicate more clearly. Fair enough he could have confirmed it with you, but this one is on you I'm afraid.

Yep sorry op, I’m with the husband on this one too 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yeah think you're in the wrong here. You only mentioned the 10yo so I'd also presume you'd made other arrangements for the younger one.

I’m all for shifting blame at every opportunity but I think it’s even here. You were at fault for making it sound like 5yr old was sorted and he was at fault for not checking what was happening with 5yr old.

@BigSandyBalls2015

I think I would have assumed the 5 year old was on a play date or similar as you only mentioned the 10 year old.

Me too.

Completely your fault, I would have assumed 5 year old had gone with a friend. Your dh did exactly as asked.

Yeah sorry, it's not your husband's fault this time and I'm not sure how he's being an arse about it as a previous poster has said unless I've missed something

You both made an assumption. It would have been sensible for him to check that 5YO didn't need picking up, she/he might have been going to a club or on a playdate after school with a friend. But my reading of your messages is that only the 10YO needed a lift.