To not pick up the peas?

[inpixiehollow]

We were invited out yesterday for sunday lunch with my MIL and her 94 year old mother. We went to a local pub, me and my partner, MIL, partners grandma and our 11 month old daughter.
I hadn't been to the pub before but wasn't impressed with it, the food wasn't great and the pub needed a good clean everywhere but we made the best of it wanting to be polite. We all had a carvery and I shared some of mine onto my daughters plate including peas. When we were done there was some mess left under the highchair (honestly not much at all, some very small bits of meat and peas) MIL's mum remarked that our daughter had made such a mess. I replied that it would only take a few minutes for them to sweep/hoover it up but she seemed horrified I wasn't going to get on my hands and knees on a pretty dirty carpet, in 29 degree heat and diligently pick up each scrap of food. I should add that the pub was almost empty too so no reason why the staff wouldn't have time to quickly tidy up. Having worked in hospitality I wouldn't have expected parents to bother about this small amount of food on the floor? I wiped down the highchair and the table where she had left gravy/mashed potato but left the, at the most 10 peas on the floor.. WIBU?

Imo staff clear tables...
Yabu not to have cleared up after your dd.

I'd have apologised and asked for a dustpan and brush; the usual response is that they'll do it.

I used to waitress and I’d find it astounding the mess that parents would leave for their kids. Often so much food left under the tables, random wet wipes left everywhere (why stuffed in to pint glasses….. why???)

The food not being good, the pub not being clean and it being 29 degrees are all totally irrelevant.

If it would only take the staff a few minutes then it would only take you the same. At the least you should have asked the staff if they wanted you to clear up.

Mine is a teen now but yes I would always pick up food she dropped.

If I had dropped a load of peas on the floor I would pick them up so I subscribe to that same thought process for kids as they’re your responsibility. I think yabu too.

I would be ashamed to leave a mess. It would have taken you seconds to pick them up.

You should have cleaned it up.

I would have asked for a pan and brush and normally the staff say not to worry about it.

You were lazy and unreasonable.

You’re in the wrong OP.

OMG I think it's the height of rudeness to leave mess on the floor for the staff to clean up.

So it's ok for them to get down on their hands and knees in the heat but not you?

Nah that's a poor attitude if I'm honest and as your child gets older, a very poor example to set.

Yes, I would have picked them up. I think it’s inconsiderate not to.

Having worked in a pub I would say that you would not be at all unusual to leave the stuff on the floor.
Personally I prefer to try to pick things up but not if it means grovelling on a filthy carpet under the table with my arse poking out!
I think this is just different standards of older generations, her generation would be horrified not to clear their own mess up, this generation it is viewed as embrassing to demeen yourself when the staff can do it. I would just let it wash off your back and respect her comments without kowtowing. Give your reasons for not doing if she is being really arsey about it.

Was Dad just walking off and leaving it too? I’d be embarrassed to leave a mess. Staff do routine cleaning eg wipe tables but any mess created by child I’d expect parent to clean. If it was only a tiny bit then surely it would only take a second to pick up.

I would have picked them up or at least asked staff for a dustpan and brush. They probably would have told you its fine but imo very rude to just leave it

So no more than 10 peas?
Yes of course yabu. It would’ve taken you a few seconds, and much less time that it took to start a thread on mumsnet. 🙄

I’ve worked in hospitality, more specifically those shitty pubs and soft play centres. What happens in a pub like that is the peas get trodden into the floor, meaning it’s not a 2 minute job. Also, you wouldn’t get on your hands and knees in 29 degree heat but expect someone else to do it You also wouldn’t need to get on your hands and knees if it was just 10 peas, as you say. You should be able to grab 10 peas by leaning over in your chair or crouching down.

It really pissed me off when I worked in hospitality that people wouldn’t have the common decency to clean up after themselves because someone on minimum wage would be along to do it for them.

As a previous bar staff/waitress I can confidently say you're the worst.

Hell no!
Worked in hospitality for years! Pick it up if something you can grab, like a slice of bread, but not dozens of rolling peas! Waiting staff will clear that up with the high chair.
I assume it was not intentional though!
If your child was throwing them left right centre than apologies and a fat tip

Yabu. You should have just picked them up.

I always cleared up after mine in that circumstance because I personally don’t think it falls into what I’d expect staff to do, but usually when I asked for a dustpan or paper towel I would be thanked and assured the staff would do it. (Pre COVID times mind you).

You should have cleaned it up.

I'd be too embarrassed to leave a mess like that, and would either pick the bits up or ask for a dust pan and brush.

I always pick up any food my DS has dropped on the floor. I think it’s very rude to leave such a mess behind.

YABU. I hope you at least left a tip for the staff having to go on their hands and knees and pick up your debris?

I'm sure the other customers would love it if staff came out with a noisy hand held hoover to clear your mess.

@PieceOfString

Having worked in a pub I would say that you would not be at all unusual to leave the stuff on the floor. Personally I prefer to try to pick things up but not if it means grovelling on a filthy carpet under the table with my arse poking out! I think this is just different standards of older generations, her generation would be horrified not to clear their own mess up, this generation it is viewed as embrassing to demeen yourself when the staff can do it. I would just let it wash off your back and respect her comments without kowtowing. Give your reasons for not doing if she is being really arsey about it.

I think this is just different standards of older generations, her generation would be horrified not to clear their own mess up, this generation it is viewed as embrassing to demeen yourself when the staff can do it.

That's a massive insulting generalization towards a generation right there.

Poor manners and selfishness sadly affect every generation. Always has and always will but it's never been an acceptable excuse.