To not pick up the peas?

[inpixiehollow]

We were invited out yesterday for sunday lunch with my MIL and her 94 year old mother. We went to a local pub, me and my partner, MIL, partners grandma and our 11 month old daughter.
I hadn't been to the pub before but wasn't impressed with it, the food wasn't great and the pub needed a good clean everywhere but we made the best of it wanting to be polite. We all had a carvery and I shared some of mine onto my daughters plate including peas. When we were done there was some mess left under the highchair (honestly not much at all, some very small bits of meat and peas) MIL's mum remarked that our daughter had made such a mess. I replied that it would only take a few minutes for them to sweep/hoover it up but she seemed horrified I wasn't going to get on my hands and knees on a pretty dirty carpet, in 29 degree heat and diligently pick up each scrap of food. I should add that the pub was almost empty too so no reason why the staff wouldn't have time to quickly tidy up. Having worked in hospitality I wouldn't have expected parents to bother about this small amount of food on the floor? I wiped down the highchair and the table where she had left gravy/mashed potato but left the, at the most 10 peas on the floor.. WIBU?

@AnotherDayAnotherCake

We always cleared the floor up under the highchair, regardless of the place we were eating or how much/little there was. Don’t recall needing to get down on my hands and knees to do so. Very rude and lazy not to IMO.

I was just going to say that.

You simply move the highchair out of the way and bend down to pick the peas up - in the same way I've no doubt the OP would have if she'd dropped a handful of £1 coins.

If the OP ever comes back, I'm sure there'll be a drip-feed about how she's unable to bend down but even if she can't, I'm sure her DP could have!

I ALWAYS clean up any food my kids have dropped on the floor. If it’s a hard floor I’ll wipe it over with a baby wipe too. You wouldn’t leave food all over your floor at home would you? Your standards and manners should be even better out in public, not worse

I have never picked food up off the floor in a pub unless it was a big lump of bread or something. I have never seen any customers sweep up. Some of the people on here sound like they would offer to do the washing up! I always tip very generously though and make sure it goes to the staff.

One of my friends did this, I was embarrassed to be with them and definitely think less of them now.

Lazy and entitled.

YABU, scruffy

I would have picked up the mess

I remember very clearly doing exactly this in a restaurant in France. The owner was very impressed and said I wasn't 'a typical English'

I find this attitude akin to saying its OK to drop litter because there are rubbish men to pick it up, tbh. I always pick up whatever my kids have dropped on the floor. YABU.

Very lazy of you.
It was your child who made the mess so you should have cleaned up after her.
Is there a reason why you can’t bend down and pick up these few pieces? Why would that be so hard for you to do?

@Skral

I have never picked food up off the floor in a pub unless it was a big lump of bread or something. I have never seen any customers sweep up. Some of the people on here sound like they would offer to do the washing up! I always tip very generously though and make sure it goes to the staff.

Some of the people on here sound like they would offer to do the washing up!

Making silly statements like that doesn't deflect from your dirtiness and lack of manners/thought for others.

Just as your 'generous tip' doesn't either.

And if you're a parent, the silly statement and throwing money at people will not make up for the terrible example you set to your children.

When my dc were babies and toddlers I would request a dustpan and brush and offer to clear up. Mostly they said 'you're fine - we'll do it' but appreciated the offer, but sometimes they just got me the dustpan and brush and let me do it (which I was happy to do)

Its rude to leave excessive mess behind

Yikes. It doesn't matter about how long it would have taken the staff! It's just about common decency and setting a good example. I always clean up after the kids, just use a napkin over my hand and pick up as much as I can. Often a server will come over and say not to worry but I used to be that server and know what shit pay it is and what arse holes you deal with so I think a little bit of kindness in their day goes a long way!
YABU totally.

@Bryonyshcmyony

I would have picked up the mess

I remember very clearly doing exactly this in a restaurant in France. The owner was very impressed and said I wasn't 'a typical English'

The owner was either an ignorant bigot or they'd met too many of the (thankfully pretty rare IME) customers like the OP.

It's about self respect.

Some people just don't have it.

YABU. Waiting staff are not cleaners. You should have asked for paper towels / dustpan etc to clear it up. There are people at my work like you - expect the office cleaner to wash their dirty cups etc. Poor form really.

So unreasonable. Feel sorry for the 94yo who probably couldn't pick them up herself but was likely hugely embarrassed that you didn't

If my 2.5 year old creates more mess than an adult would (i.e. anything that can't be cleaned by clearing plates, spraying and wipe down as per usual procedure) I clear it up.

I usually end up having to pick food up off the table and floor, plus do a quick 'first wipe' with a baby wipe or two.

When DS was very young there were a few occasions where I asked for a dust pan and brush and then the waiting team said not to worry and cleaned up for me, but I never expected it (just doesn't seem fair)!

I wasn't going to get on my hands and knees on a pretty dirty carpet, in 29 degree heat and diligently pick up each scrap of food

Well no, that's the job of the NMW person who serves you, isn't it? Only fair that after your nice meal, there should be somebody who can't afford such nice things crawling around in pursuit of the meat, gravy, peas and everything else you and everybody else have left for them.

I suppose on a positive note, you didn't leave the nappy and wipes down there as well, which a ridiculous number of people do.

I am so glad I don't have to work in pub restaurants anymore.

I'm always amazed at the mess (caused by their kids) some parents think it's perfectly reasonable to leave behind. I've seen it in restaurants, parks, on trains and planes and - perhaps worst of all - on a bench in the National Gallery where a mother had changed her baby's nappy and actually had the front to leave the used nappy, baby wipes and a host of other shit out of her bag, on the bench. A fearsome curator tore a strip off her, tho, and she was made to return to the bench and collect it all.

Well done that curator, dirty filthy cow for thinking it's okay to leave stuff like that.

OP when mine were that age I always cleaned up after them, I never walked away leaving food on the floor that I could pick up. Now adults DC they would clean up.

I remember very clearly doing exactly this in a restaurant in France. The owner was very impressed and said I wasn't 'a typical English'

I remember asking for a dustpan and brush to sweep up glass in a restaurant in France - my young DS had knocked over my glass. Very disapproving tuts from the French people in the cafe and the lady behind the bar refused my request with a shrug and a "non". I was mortified and puzzled - and worried about the glass obviously. Very strange.

YABU.
Mind you at least you didn't change a nappy on the table and leave it there, which someone did when I worked in a pub restaurant.

I always ask for the broom etc when its messy, I've never been given one and have always been told that it's fine they will do it, but its polite and I wouldn't want to be that parent.

Also think you're making a drama out of picking up some food, it takes under a minute to pick up the bulk of it, making it sound like a military operation in the desert.

I'd have picked them up to avoid anyone stepping on them. If my child makes a mess, I tend to think it necessary to clean up after them.

Ooh, gosh. This didn't quite go how OP had planned, did it?

The GMiL must have been mortified.
I'd judge this so hard.
It really does show someone up.

I have always picked up after mine. I have also worked in hospitality and spent many hours cleaning up after messy people, though most people do clean up after their kids.

Nice. Leave them to be mashed into the carpet by unsuspecting staff. You should have offered to clean them up, and at least let them know.