Neighbour asked about my screaming child

[Anya20]

So this morning, this lady comes over to say she thinks her cat is in my garden ( this is the third time she has been looking for her cat in the last 3 weeks) . Whilst I go to open the side door to let her into the garden, she says to me -
‘ I heard a child screaming about ten minutes ago’ so I said ‘ yeah that was my child’ and then she says ‘ he sounded very distressed!’ .

I was a bit shocked and asked her if she had children and she said yes.

My child was having a third meltdown of the morning because he was tired bc he stayed up late yesterday because we had family over. That screaming from ten minutes ago was because he wanted to remove the ‘ black dots ‘ from his porridge. So I ignored his screaming for a few minutes because I couldn’t see what dots he was talking about.

I am fuming - was she looking to see if I am a fit mother rather than for her cat?? He’s nearly 3 obv he has tantrums!!! Am I right to be mad?

@Ponoka7

Would you have rather she phoned the police?

Because a child was crying?

It’s not calling screaming bloody murder for nothing.

Of course if someone heard that from over the road they would naturally be a little concerned.

But I also see if from your point of view. It’s a tantrum and she should be in your business, but one day it could be a child in danger, and her sticking her nose in could just about save a life.

Shouldn't be in your business, sorry!

@TooMuchPaper

You posted a few months ago about your abusive husband shouting at you, calling you a fucking cunt in front of your toddler son and you said this happens regularly. Perhaps your neighbour is letting you know that she knows what is really going on in your house?

Well that makes it eeven more understandable why the neighbour said something

Ah just read the above.

Perhaps she would have been better off phoning the police.

You sound like the family I’m always keeping an ear out for over the road because they’re constantly screaming and shouting at each other.

Your over thinking this. You just shrug and yep its the terrible 2s.

@armanted

It was a hot spell many years ago when my neighbour asked if my son was ok. All the windows had been open the previous night and he'd heard my 7 year old screaming that we were hurting him, leave him alone, No!, No!, it hurts, scream, sob, you're hurting me, scream etc.

I was impressed he was worried, I would have rung the police.

DS had a splinter.

😂

Too many kids get abused and people turn a blind eye, good for that neighbour taking her time to check hes okay, see it as a positive not a negative

@TooMuchPaper

You posted a few months ago about your abusive husband shouting at you, calling you a fucking cunt in front of your toddler son and you said this happens regularly. Perhaps your neighbour is letting you know that she knows what is really going on in your house?

and now we get the backstory

I thought all kids throw tantrums at this age, I’m wondering now how I have never gotten a knock on the door as mine have thrown some epic ones! I also worked in early care and there were often tantrums there too for equally irrational reasons so I think maybe this lady is a bit out of touch with young kids!!!

You're upset because your ego has been hurt.

You explained why he was upset. So there's noting to be angry about.

@TooMuchPaper

You posted a few months ago about your abusive husband shouting at you, calling you a fucking cunt in front of your toddler son and you said this happens regularly. Perhaps your neighbour is letting you know that she knows what is really going on in your house?

Oh, that's why you're upset. Because you know your house isn't a safe one and you were almost found out.

Maybe your neighbours hear all your fights with DH and are now worried for your safety.

@WildSwimming101

You're upset because your ego has been hurt.

You explained why he was upset. So there's noting to be angry about.

This OP has history....her partner has been shouting and swearing at her and she has said she wants to leave....doesn't make her a bad mother but its not as simople as one tantrummy morning

I'd understand the fuming if she said something like "well if I hear it again I'll report to social services" but all she said was that he sounded distressed and it sounds like he was. Did you mention it was because he wanted imaginary black dots removed from his porridge? If you had I probably would have laughed it off and told you one of the ridiculous melt down moments I've had from tantrums.

I completely understand that it’s annoying of her to say your child sounded distressed. Is your neighbour lonely? A busy body? Wants someone to talk to?

@TooMuchPaper

You posted a few months ago about your abusive husband shouting at you, calling you a fucking cunt in front of your toddler son and you said this happens regularly. Perhaps your neighbour is letting you know that she knows what is really going on in your house?

Thats not true. The OP commented on a post where a woman said that their husband called them a cunt. The OP suggested she ring women's aid.

Too many people turn a blind eye. More people should be concernedd

@toomuchpaper

Busy bodies policing mothers will even go to the trouble of searching your username.

To PROVE you aren't a good mother.

No sympathy for the hell you are probably living in, with an abusive husband as well, it seems (haven't read your other thread).

Just judgement. And judgement some more.

Sorry you are going through this op. The world is extremely cruel to mothers

I hope you get things sorted out OP.

I completely understand that it’s annoying of her to say your child sounded distressed. Is your neighbour lonely? A busy body? Wants someone to talk to?

I'd say her neighbour is aware that the op is living with an abusive man and is trying to open the door for the op to talk to her and get help.

People on here really jump to conclusions. The OP commented on a post where someone had said their husband had called them a cunt. OP was supportive to the OP and suggested she ring Women's aid.

Some horrible people on here

@TooMuchPaper

I completely understand that it’s annoying of her to say your child sounded distressed. Is your neighbour lonely? A busy body? Wants someone to talk to?

I'd say her neighbour is aware that the op is living with an abusive man and is trying to open the door for the op to talk to her and get help.

Read my post above, the OP commented on a post about an abusive husband

What you don't want is the kind of neighbour who ignores your child's screams. Or yours.

@WhateverHappenedToFayWray

People on here really jump to conclusions. The OP commented on a post where someone had said their husband had called them a cunt. OP was supportive to the OP and suggested she ring Women's aid.

Some horrible people on here

Incorrect, it was her who posted.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4132152-Husband-swears-at-me-in-front-of-DS

"Thats not true. The OP commented on a post where a woman said that their husband called them a cunt. The OP suggested she ring women's aid."
nope twas the same username

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4132152-Husband-swears-at-me-in-front-of-DS?msgid=103525971#103525971

WhateverHappenedToFayWray

Look again,. The OP started a thread about her abusive husband.