To think most of MN don’t know what having no money means

[icecolddrinks]

And that admitting to having none is humiliating.

I see it here all the time. Someone has no money. Someone suggests something to make life easier. The person says again they have no money. MN suggest a cheaper version.

On the thread about dress up so many people were saying to tell the school.

I know debt and low incomes aren’t ideal but they aren’t uncommon either so why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone might have 3p in their bank account and no money?

Some people have never experienced it so do not believe it is possible.

I have had no money so I see it from both sides

I'm not sure it's always that - MN is a goldmine for scammers who love to post begging threads saying they have no money and can't afford this and that.

Usually making reasonable suggestions quickly flushes them out.

YANBU

There was a thread about teacher's presents and the OP had no slack in her budget yet people and EVEN TEACHERS were saying hand over a card (not free) with a box of chocolates (even £2 if you have no slack is impossible) grrrrrrr.

Having no money means different things to different people. It could mean I'm down to the last £500 in my current account and I don't want to break into my savings or it could mean I have nothing left, I've borrowed all the change from the kids money boxes and don't own a credit card or it's maxed out. Very different but the same phrase is used. YANBU, people are making the choice between eating and providing costumes for kids. If people can't see this they have a very charmed existence.

Oh I know @Lockheart but I’m not really on about the I have no electricity and it’s triplet dd’s birthday next week, what can I do, posts.

I mean the ones where it’s just blithely suggested someone buys a new car, or to look on FB marketplace if money is tight.

Having no money doesn’t really mean anything different @CeeceeBloomingdale

It doesn’t mean I have not much in my current account but access to an overdraft and anyway I have several hundred in savings.

It means I have no money.

I see both sides. Having no money is really hard. It shouldn’t be happening in a civilised society. We shouldn’t need food banks. It’s impossible to budget well without sufficient money. It can be much, much cheaper to live if you are wealthy.

Some people talk of being broke when they mean they have little available funds or not affording luxuries. That’s not broke.

I think when someone hasn’t been in that situation, they struggle to comprehend what having absolutely no money is like and think everyone must have a fiver knocking about.

I remember years ago being eligible for my kids to have FSM but I just couldn’t let the school know. I knew I’d be treated differently and so would my children. Also, when one of them was born I got repeated letters telling me to claim for free fruit and veg. But in order to do so, I’d have to go and tell my health visitor how poor I was and get her to sign something. Not something I felt I could do. So glad those days are over but it certainly shaped me as a person and taught me a lot about judging others without fully understanding circumstances.

I've also been on both sides. About 15 years ago, I was buying a week of meals for around £5 and having to pay by cheque because I didn't have enough in the bank until payday. Now, I earn a decent amount but save and think about purchases over £50 for a few weeks, because that feeling of having nothing (or often, minus nothing!) was exhausting and miserable.

Oh I really understand @OlympicProcrastinator

And yes to the teacher present / card thing … that’s exactly what I mean.

No reasonable teacher, no reasonable human, would expect a present off a child who was living in a grim bed and breakfast place without access to cooking facilities.

YANBU. When I've said I'm skint I literally have maybe £2 in my bank, I've got a friend who's version of having no money is she's down to her last few hundred before pay day. Luckily my financial situation has vastly improved now but I'll never forget choosing between heating or eating in the past.

@LemonRoses what?

Do you think all poor children live in grim bed and breakfast places?

I agree people don’t understand. There have been times in my life when I have had literally no money, in fact minus money, flirting at the brink of a £700 overdraft, occasionally going over, with two loans also, but I still wouldn’t have said I was in the same position as many who have no money, because I knew if there was anything I absolutely needed my parents (not wealthy but not on their uppers) would have helped me out, and I also knew I was employed in a job with prospects, and this was a temporary situation. Also I didn’t have kids relying on me. Some people have none of that.

@Lockheart

I'm not sure it's always that - MN is a goldmine for scammers who love to post begging threads saying they have no money and can't afford this and that.

Usually making reasonable suggestions quickly flushes them out.

This. MN is known (and has been for more than two decades) as a paradise for scammers.

Some people have never experienced it, if they've had periods where money is tight, they've had things to cut back on to free some up that don't have a massive impact on their quality of life, like buying cheaper foods and no 'luxury' food to save a bit, tightening the belt.
I don't think they can conceive a situation where there's nothing left to tighten without some serious impacts on quality of life like not being able to meet things like rent and council tax and the fall out from that, or not having luxuries to cut out, having to drop something off the already essential shopping list completely rather than choose a cheaper option.
I think they assume that anyone in that situation just isn't trying hard enough to find things to cut back or out, but when you're on a strict budget already, there comes a point where whatever you have to cut next will have a big impact on your life, and the loss of a few pounds can be the tipping point into spiralling debt.
I also think MN is a bit skewed too, and many buy into the undeserving poor, get a better job then attitude.

There was a thread on here where so many folks were posting about having no money, so you’re unreasonable to think that’s mumsnet is some form of wealthy crowd. It’s a mix across the spectrum

Oh didn’t you know? Everyone on mn is supposed to have thousands worth of savings in the bank in case of something like this. Their idea of having no money, is having to dip into their savings.

My idea of having no money was having to use the last of my nectar points to buy some essentials to get me through to payday. I was still 89p off though and was looking at what I could reduce so I could get what I needed, one one lovely person paid for it.

I've been skint.
Proper skint.
Thankfully I'm ok for now (not wealthy by any standard but surviving) but the knowledge is there.
Imo you have to have lived it to begin to understand how destructive poverty can be.
I don't blame or judge anyone for being insensitive. Unless you've actually had £0 and £0 prospects you can't relate.

"I know debt and low incomes aren’t ideal but they aren’t uncommon either so why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone might have 3p in their bank account and no money?*

For me, two things. Firstly, from having to claim benefits myself and astounded at the amount I was given. We literally lived no differently to when I was in full time work.

The second. I had no money, one month. The clutch went in my car. I had "3p" in the bank that month. What I can't understand is how people only ever have 3p in the bank continually.

So my view, is that I know what you receive, I wasn't special, that's what I received too. I know what average bills are, and if consistently you are left with 3p, then it is not down to lack of initial money, but your own choices on what you've done with it.

The odd month with a surprise large expense can't be helped. The rest of the year? It's down to personal choices. Some months I'd have £300-400 to just spend on whatever, after all bills and food. That's a huge amount. And it wasn't like we lived like misers.

So yes, because of having been in that exact position, and knowing how very easy it was, I question what made me so "lucky" when some people swear they are so hard done by.

That’s really not how most poor children live LemonRoses!

YANBU. I remember years ago telling my friend I was skint so we went down to the bank, with my I.D to draw out the £1.60 I had in my account. That was all I had to my name, no savings, no last £400 in my account and no credit cards/family etc.

Very good friend tried to join in, sympathising with me but had them massive can money jars, one for 2 pounds, one for pound coins etc. All full to the brim (I know this because we practically lived together) Plus savings and generous parents. But she still felt skint because she didn't have 000s in her bank. Shes so lovely and would help anyone but doesnt live in the real world tbh.

I agree OP. When we were kids mum used to run out of money before the end of the week. It was dire.

Plenty of people don’t believe that in the UK, that poverty exists. They’re so blinkered and narrow minded, they don’t even realise it. It’s incredible.

They think “proper” poverty is scenes of famine in Africa. And only that sort of poverty counts.

I saw it when the Tory MPs were fighting for overseas aid - yet they’d turn their noses up at benefit claimants in the UK.

People are so cynical and really need to open their horizons a little. Challenge themselves to find out how the other half live.