To think most of MN don’t know what having no money means

[icecolddrinks]

And that admitting to having none is humiliating.

I see it here all the time. Someone has no money. Someone suggests something to make life easier. The person says again they have no money. MN suggest a cheaper version.

On the thread about dress up so many people were saying to tell the school.

I know debt and low incomes aren’t ideal but they aren’t uncommon either so why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone might have 3p in their bank account and no money?

Op on the other thread people were suggesting to tell the school, because the school having so many dress up days becomes silly somebody needs to point out to school that these things have a cost. And school need to stop and think about it.

Even homemade outfits aren't free, every thing has a cost, a t-shirt that gets painted or glittered can't be reworn, nor can it be passed down. Not everyone has craft stuff just lying around so that's a cost buying craft stuff to make something.

Some parents are working and struggling for time too, not every parent has time to spend hours making stuff, especially those with multiple kids or other responsibilities.

On another thread a teacher suggested that some kids are so deprived they can't even get a camping holiday. We'll actually camping isn't cheap especially getting started. As for the suggestions borrow how many people know someone they can borrow from? .

The amount benefits pay (in most circumstances assuming your rent is covered by the local area housing allowance element of uc) is ok on a short term basis but people have so many loans - cars, pay by the week furniture/white goods, store cards and credit cards, often as much as their uc payment each month.

Yes they want a brand new TV, a better car, new wardrobes from Next/apply any storecard here, new washer, dryer.

So they want all that, take out loans and cards then gripe about it. Oh, I've got no money. As opposed to I can't stop buying things I can't afford and dislike I can't live well above my means.

Do you know why I had £400 left over each month? My perfectly good TV was 8 yrs old. My tumble dryer (which I've still got!) was £50 from the freeads. DS had gorgeous clothes, I got a bit obsessed with everything from Boden. But it all got resold on eBay. £500 worth, he'd wear for a year, and I'd sell for £350! I bought secondhand. I didn't buy a car with repayments I couldn't afford when I had a car that worked. Would I have liked a better one, god yes. Did I go out and get one then moan how I had no more benefits to spend? Jesus wept.

It's a very liveable amount. If its not, then it's down to that individual.

I'm not sure it's always that - MN is a goldmine for scammers who love to post begging threads saying they have no money and can't afford this and that
Usually making reasonable suggestions quickly flushes them out

Exactly this - and oddly enough (?) they very often appear late at night or at the weekend, presumably when it's hoped the Mods won't be on the ball

That said, it's a reasonable place to come for those who are genuine, because the advice can be excellent

I think sometimes when you have less money you feel more pressure to contribute to some things, I have no problem not buying an end of year present for the teacher, I primary I bought one for class teacher and one for teachers who took the children on the residential, for the whole of primary school. For wearing a specific thing, I use something I already have or borrow, or don't bother, my friends who also can easily afford also borrow. I did find when I was poor, I spent more on take aways as that was my only treat while now I rarely buy takeaways and often spend hours over a Dahl, which I just could not have faced to do while poor.

@TwinsandTrifle

You have no idea what it's like today, not a single clue.

I have. I'm an accountant with quite a bit of experience in advising in this area.

And did a calc to see what UC I'd qualify for. 1 adult. 3 kids.

I would get all my rent paid. All bar £8.40 a month council tax paid. And £1373 in UC and child benefit. After bills and food, that leaves me circa £500 per month for non essentials.

I'd get if it left me £50. But £500? And for those who want to claim well that's loads, you've got 3DC. Let me just clarify that the amount drops by about £250 for having one DC instead. So you are actually better off the fewer DC you have.

That's calculation has either ignored the benefit cap, or you have a very low rent ! And hardly anyone gets a 100%council tax reduction these days. I get £7 per week off mine.

@BoredZelda

So poor children whose parents don’t have the money to buy teacher plastic shite or expensive rubbish all live in b and bs?

Some do. Seems people here struggle to accept that is a real situation for many.

Exactly. I taught a kid who lived with his parents in one room with a single hotplate in the corner for cooking.

I'm sure he wasn't the only one. I'd not have known about his situation were it not for me needing to do a home visit for an unrelated reason.

It was a seminal moment for me.

@PrettyLittleFlies

A lot of people talk a lot of crap generally. Hardly anyone listens.

There was a woman on here the other day saying she never had money left over. She earned a low wage, had no debt, didn't drink or smoke, rarely went out or bought clothes. Posters lived up to tell her to quit botox which cost her a grand total of £100 a year. Ridiculous. As if that would make a difference. And for the love of god it was her one frivolity. Plus she wasn't complaining, she was just saying how it was and wondering if anyone else experienced the same. But a lot of people cannot hear or accept what is happening for other people.

Well that poster was moaning about only being able to afford primark clothes.

That £100 on botox that she did not need at the age of 30 could be spent on a nice item of clothing or shoes, etc

No one remarks on your botox going out but she seemed to care about crap clothes so why not put the £100 towards something nice to wear.

@Yuckyfinger

Someone poster might post about literally not being able to make ends meet ie no money, and people will always suggest "moving to a cheaper area" as if moving is a) instant and b) without initial cost. Even the ubiquitous "take in ironing" might require someone to buy an iron or a better iron! And presumably stationary for any admin they might need to do

Not to mention that even doing ironing on the side can screw your benefits

And it’s expensive being poor

It’s lots of areas that are poor you have little shops with higher prices

The cash machines that charge you

Paying for things monthly added on interest

Companies exploit those with less money they know they can not afford to buy things upfront

And yes parents will be upset when they can’t afford to buy a costume that their child desperately wants so they can fit in with other children at school.

@CrouchEndTiger12

Also people are stupid with money...a friend at the gym is always saying she is struggling for money.

She bought an expensive new car on hire purchase. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Now that car is undoubtedly worth much less than she paid for it and she has expensive payments to make monthly for years.

Some people are foolish with money. Many other people have no money to be foolish with.

And what advice can a solvent person give to a broke person? None is what. They know diddly squat about how to manage poverty. The arrogance is cringey.

Lots of people live without basics, without regular or nourishing food, without electricity or gas, without heating or warm clothes, without access to safe housing or good schooling.

Those people I'm happy to hear from in the poverty topics, not some jumped up twat who has a BMW and three credit cards.

@OhWhyNot

And it’s expensive being poor

It’s lots of areas that are poor you have little shops with higher prices

The cash machines that charge you

Paying for things monthly added on interest

Companies exploit those with less money they know they can not afford to buy things upfront

And yes parents will be upset when they can’t afford to buy a costume that their child desperately wants so they can fit in with other children at school.

This is so so true. My helpful father telling me I could use his Costco card and buy everything in bulk because it's so much cheaper.... I'm buying 4 toilet rolls a week at almost double per roll what they'd be if I bought in bulk, because I only have the £2 at the time that I need them.

I live payday to payday. Often have no money or overdrawn a few days before payday. I do have about £400 in a help to buy ISA that I'm loathe to touch and it would cost to take it out anyway. I had a very comfortable upbringing without having to think about money or the cost of things. You have to be quite stupid or ignorant to not realise some people genuinely have nothing.

I can't believe someone up thread has compared having no money to have £500 in their bank account they don't want to use! How out of touch can you get!

It rather goes to show that when threads like this invite someone wanging on about being obsessed with Boden the point is somewhat proved.

Yes, I know there are scamming trolls. Margaritte, clairindespair, others who are apparently well loved, who knows.

But I’m not talking about them.

There was a woman on here the other day saying she never had money left over. She earned a low wage, had no debt, didn't drink or smoke, rarely went out or bought clothes. Posters lived up to tell her to quit botox which cost her a grand total of £100 a year. Ridiculous. As if that would make a difference

Yes that's equally unhelpful advice.

What should have been asked is, you shouldn't be in the position you are in, so let's address why you are. What are your living costs. Because it's not the one off £100 treat that's causing it.

It's then you see the above average food bill. Or the 3 takeaways a week.

As I said, as an accountant, I get astonished by people who are "broke" with £400 a month car finance. Change your car! "Oh no, I love my car I don't want to do that"

@TwinsandTrifle

"I know debt and low incomes aren’t ideal but they aren’t uncommon either so why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone might have 3p in their bank account and no money?*

For me, two things. Firstly, from having to claim benefits myself and astounded at the amount I was given. We literally lived no differently to when I was in full time work.

The second. I had no money, one month. The clutch went in my car. I had "3p" in the bank that month. What I can't understand is how people only ever have 3p in the bank continually.

So my view, is that I know what you receive, I wasn't special, that's what I received too. I know what average bills are, and if consistently you are left with 3p, then it is not down to lack of initial money, but your own choices on what you've done with it.

The odd month with a surprise large expense can't be helped. The rest of the year? It's down to personal choices. Some months I'd have £300-400 to just spend on whatever, after all bills and food. That's a huge amount. And it wasn't like we lived like misers.

So yes, because of having been in that exact position, and knowing how very easy it was, I question what made me so "lucky" when some people swear they are so hard done by.

Good for you, unfortunately the true poor in this country are the ones who work their butts off for miserly / minimum wage pay usually for companies that make a tidy profit for their shareholders.

Sorry but for most benefits is not enough to live on. Like i previously stated, i work full time and get tax credits. I have one child. My rent is not covered and i get minimum tax credits. I get no CT rebate nor do i get free school Meals. I dont have any debt, but by week 3 of the month i have nothing left. Please dont tell me to find another job as i am the person looking after everyone elses kids so they can get to work. If i was paid a decent wage like so many others including carers i wouldnt need to live in poverty nor rely on benifits.

@OlympicProcrastinator

I remember years ago being eligible for my kids to have FSM but I just couldn’t let the school know. I knew I’d be treated differently and so would my children. Also, when one of them was born I got repeated letters telling me to claim for free fruit and veg. But in order to do so, I’d have to go and tell my health visitor how poor I was and get her to sign something. Not something I felt I could do. So glad those days are over but it certainly shaped me as a person and taught me a lot about judging others without fully understanding circumstances.

Just wanted to say that your child would NOT be treated differently at all. A teacher would only be aware if they looked it up for data reasons. Please, please, anyone reading this who might be in a similar situation, apply!

The no pride diet not only sticks in the throat it can cause choking. Unless you are surrounded by a majority of others in the same boat, the biggest thing it does is lessens your children's chances and social capital and teaches them to depend on begrudged hand outs.

I have been 'skint' in my 20s but not living in poverty. I literally has no money after rent, bills and food. I had to decline after work drinks as I could not afford to buy a round, my clothes were years old, I walked or cycled everywhere, my diet was of the baked potato/pasta variety, I made pack lunches and holidays were what other people did. I knew exactly how much money I had in my account and what essentials it needed to be spent on. It was tough but I guess I had a roof over my head and was not going hungry, I just got envious now and again when people could afford to do things I could not. Eventually I got my professional qualifications and for a pay rise and things improved. The experience made me more socially aware of other people's circumstances and I make an effort to look after the young folk in the office in terms of chucking a few drinks their way or making sure they are not socially excluded by finances.

Love it when people say benefits offer a good living standard. Sometimes, perhaps, but not always.

I have £0.01 in my savings account. That was just the interest added last year though.

Yes they want a brand new TV, a better car, new wardrobes from Next/apply any storecard here, new washer, dryer

So they want all that, take out loans and cards then gripe about it. Oh, I've got no money. As opposed to I can't stop buying things I can't afford and dislike I can't live well above my means

Are you really applying that to everyone? Of course there are some people like that but to assume that’s the case for everyone is what makes it so bloody difficult for some people to ask for help.

In this country we pretend to look after people and brag about our benefits system when in fact what is really needed is for people to be paid enough to live.

I remember when DH and I were in our early twenties - having no money meant just that. It was back in the day when you had a cheque guarantee card and so we’d do the weekly shop for £15 with the knowledge that the cheque would bounce. That meant that we would have the fee added on top but what else were we meant to do? We had to pay our rent and council tax, I was studying and he was working. We walked everywhere, I’ve never been skinnier in all my life, it was awfully stressful.

I think partly what gets forgotten/isn’t thought about is the constant level of anxiety - what is something breaks or there’s an unexpected expense? I once dropped a bag of shopping with milk, egg and bread with the scraped together change that I had. The milk carton and the eggs broke, ruining the bread too. I sat on the floor and cried - I just didn’t know what to do and was so angry with myself. That’s skint.

Really @Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow?

They wouldn’t be identified as a pupil premium student?

I think you’re wrong about that.