To think most of MN don’t know what having no money means

[icecolddrinks]

And that admitting to having none is humiliating.

I see it here all the time. Someone has no money. Someone suggests something to make life easier. The person says again they have no money. MN suggest a cheaper version.

On the thread about dress up so many people were saying to tell the school.

I know debt and low incomes aren’t ideal but they aren’t uncommon either so why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone might have 3p in their bank account and no money?

@Nayday

It's a kind of broken cognitive process:

Do what I do, because I'm not in poverty and never have been
Vs
I can't do what you're advising because I am living in poverty

The person not living in poverty is given too much credit for their situation (hidden privilege), whilst those in poverty are assigned too much blame (must be the fags and flat screen).

This is it, EXACTLY!

Two things standout - folk who don't understand that the piece of cloth is not big enough, however it is cut.

And the fact that they don't want to understand. It is easier to blame someone in poverty and feel superior for your own 'life choices'.

I am currently a carer for my child with ASD. I used to work (NHS trained CBT clinician) but I got too many calls from School (including the one where my son was sitting on a bridge after they'd 'lost him') my employer 'let me go' and I am not able to work outside house now.

Do I get enough benefits to live on at present - yes, if I am very careful. BUT: he's just turned 16. If (when!) he is not awarded PIP (child DLA to adult PIP is a scandal) I will have no income to support either of us. How do I prove I am 'looking for work' 35+ hours a week when I won't be, as I am taking care of a now adult with disabilities? And God help me when it comes to pension age. I'd swap any lifelong guaranteed benefit for my child not being disabled, anyway.

oof. sorry for blurt. anecdata not helpful really.

I can't find it now, but there was a post upthread saying most people are willing to help out in cases of genuine poverty.

It really stuck with me because it all goes back to the idea of Good Poor vs Bad Poor.

People are very good at inventing narratives to justify doing what they want to do.

Most people are deeply uncomfortable with poverty or homelessness, and are frightened of it. They choose to make up stories why the person is to blame for their misfortune, because to accept that sometimes a person can do everything right and by sheer bad luck still end up losing everything is scary as shit.

I see it all the time on MN. "Oh homeless people all get dropped off in Mercedes, they rake it in!" "Oh people on benefits all have flatscreens and new Nikes" "oh people in poverty have loads of money they just fritter it on booze and fags."

When I was homeless as a teenager I had so many people make up lies about me, or make assumptions about me. Namely that I must be either an alcoholic or a drug addict, and/or that I must be a prostitute. I'd never used any form of drug and never tasted alcohol except perhaps the odd sip of wine on holidays to France as a child.

It's extraordinary that people can look at a literal child and go "well she must be on drugs ergo she doesn't deserve support or help."

It's this catch-22 that is so damaging. "Homeless/in poverty = must be on drugs = Bad Poor Person = okay to ignore and not help."

Poverty increases stigma and stigma increases poverty.

If you create a mindset where anyone in poverty is Bad and therefore deserves to be there, you've created an ideology where no one ever has to help anyone or acknowledge society's responsibilities.

@livingwitheds1984
Your post is exactly it. Very well said.
If we find a reason to blame the person for why they are in poverty then we can justify our own actions of not helping them out it. And i throwing a pound to a homeless person, i mean overall as a society finding ways to eliminate poverty.

Some people will never get it. I taught in an incredibly deprived area , yet my Landlord (he unfortunately lived close by, so always sodding 'popping in') would be pontificating about 'people bring it on themselves'. Funny though, once I'd given him a few examples of what I was seeing day in day out, he didn't have any solutions or answers . That job was the nicest I ever had, the parents & children were great. I moved to a school in a wealthy area & the ever complaining parents were vile to all the staff about the most petty stuff .

@TwinsandTrifle

The amount benefits pay (in most circumstances assuming your rent is covered by the local area housing allowance element of uc) is ok on a short term basis but people have so many loans - cars, pay by the week furniture/white goods, store cards and credit cards, often as much as their uc payment each month.

Yes they want a brand new TV, a better car, new wardrobes from Next/apply any storecard here, new washer, dryer.

So they want all that, take out loans and cards then gripe about it. Oh, I've got no money. As opposed to I can't stop buying things I can't afford and dislike I can't live well above my means.

Do you know why I had £400 left over each month? My perfectly good TV was 8 yrs old. My tumble dryer (which I've still got!) was £50 from the freeads. DS had gorgeous clothes, I got a bit obsessed with everything from Boden. But it all got resold on eBay. £500 worth, he'd wear for a year, and I'd sell for £350! I bought secondhand. I didn't buy a car with repayments I couldn't afford when I had a car that worked. Would I have liked a better one, god yes. Did I go out and get one then moan how I had no more benefits to spend? Jesus wept.

It's a very liveable amount. If its not, then it's down to that individual.

I have never heard of anyone on benefits having hundreds left over each month, never-ending buying their kids clothes from Boden. I was a single mum on benefits for years so lived through it myself (still poor but not entitled to benefits now).

I smell bullshit.